Tuesday, November 29, 2011


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KittyBear has been consuming my energy.
She's been missing for five days.
She is our beloved cat of seven years.
I've blogged about her before

I had to go to the pound yesterday 
to see if she was there.
Don't go to the pound.
It's not all fun and happy like
Hotel for Dogs
Beverly Hills Chihuahua.

It's sad and depressing
and will make an animal hoarder
out of the most sane of people.

Last night I sincerely had to hand
KB over to God.
I could feel myself
getting more and more depressed.
If I let my thinking fester
I may end up in bed for months.
So, I just said,
"God, I am giving KB to you now."
You would be amazed at how fast
doing that works in any given situation.

I know you are all gonna think
I am totally whacky.
Who gets that upset over a cat?

Well, I do.
That's who.
I won't even go into my
conspiracy theories
of my serial killing neighbor.

God has a way of putting things into perspective.
I got a facebook message10 minutues ago
and someone's teenage daughter
has been missing from my city
for the same exact amount of time
that our KittyBear has been gone?

Do you think they
could have run off together?
Don't tell me otherwise, please.
That is my happy place.
A lonely teenage girl and KB 
snuggled together in a boxcar somewhere.

Don't forget that tomorrow is your last day to win a free half-tee!

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Memorizing Scripture

After the last general conference
one of the things
we decided to work on as a family
is memorizing scripture.

Richard G Scott gave a great address
on scriptures being our friends.

It got me thinking about how many times
God has spoken to me through a verse
of scripture running through my head.

I thought I better work harder at giving scriptures
to the girls so that in their time of need
God will be able to speak to them through
the scriptures that are stored in their brain.

We started with my favorite scripture.
This verse has been there with me
through a whole lot of hard stuff.

Proverbs 3:5-6
We all took a turn writing a line.
Caroline even got a turn.

As we all cited the scripture together
for the first time
Caroline was quick to correct us that
after path
we are all to say
scribble scribble scribble

How dare we leave out her part?

How many of you bet
that someday in the near future
God will speak to my girls
by letting them hear
the words
scribble scribble scribble circle
in their minds and hearts
when they need it the most?

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Thursday, November 24, 2011

Our Little Monkey

Happy Thanksgiving
to you and yours

from us and ours.

I think we win the cute contest.

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Wednesday, November 23, 2011


A few weeks ago LG confided in me that he had fallen in the shower.
He had a boo-boo and I wasn't very sympathetic.
"How old are you?" I asked. "70?"

Then, just days later, I fell in the shower

and he was so sweet about it.

I did fall way more violently
as there were cleaning agents and a trash can involved
but still.

Sometimes I know I got the better end of the deal.
I am so glad that there are those times
to even out the ones when I wonder
what the heck I was thinking.

Love you LG!

And I hope we got our falling out of our systems.
Because if this happens when we are 70 or more
one of us is going to end up in the nursing home.

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Even more disturbing than the bruise....
my triple chin.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011


I guess I better get these Halloween photos up
before Thanksgiving gets here.

Our girls got some killer deals
at K-mart on their costumes.
Sometimes it pays to be late.
50% off plus another 20% off coupon.
Then I got another discount on Abigail's
because we had to sew a strap on.
I told the girls that we would only spend $5 on each of them.
They gladly subsidized with their own money
so they didn't have to make their own costumes.
I think we spent a total combined of $30.

I can't say that I was disappointed
since making our own costumes
would require my help.

I was going to dress Caroline up
as Shirley Temple
but she barely cooperated
for wings,
so what would have been the point?

Have I told you how much of a handful this kid is?

I wonder where she gets it from?
We dumped Caroline back at home with dad
after knocking on the condos
close to home.

Here are the girls out about in the neighborhood
with our two friends Natassja and India.
It seems we should live somewhere more exotic
than Utah
when we have friends with names like that.

I just loved this shot with the pumpkin.
Notice that we use pillowcases
for carrying Halloween candy.
It's what my mom used to make us do
when we were kids
and the tradition has stuck.

Best costume of the evening.
Obama and his Secret Service agents.
These boys are awesome.
My girls enjoyed following them around the neighborhood
on our perfect weathered evening.

I enjoyed taunting Obama at every door
that us Utahns only give our candy to Republicans
who work for their own stuff.
I'm silly like that.

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Monday, November 21, 2011

Family Dance Night

Do you remember this ancient post about the family staying up all night to dance.
We couldn't afford to go to Chuck E Cheese and so we pulled out the old records.

Well now we can afford to go to Chuck E. Cheese but I believe I would rather
travel back in time and do this all over again.
I finally figured out how to post the video and these are so cute.
The girls have grown so fast but I am pleased to report that they still giggle just the same.
And they still think they can dance.

It started out slow. Very Lawrence Welk feeling slow.

Then we moved on to Bob Dylan's song on banjo.
Dad does some tapping and at the end the baby has to join in.

More with dad and baby. Puff the magic dragon.

Then dad goes a little crazy.

A little Beverly Hillbilly's. We were in TN after all.
We have some underwear malfunctioning.
This is when I hope that no sickos have found the blog.
But, if you sickos have found us, make sure you watch this one through
to see the man you will contend with if you come within 50 feet of our daughters.
And then know that I am about 800% more ferocious.

Now dad kindly introduces the two-step to our flapper girls.
Has anybody seen our girls?

And if you've been the loyal watcher,
you will be happy for this finale.
One final laugh for us all.

Good times. Good times.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Living a Consecrated Life

Every 6 months Mormons gather worldwide
to hear from the latter day prophets and apostles.
You may think that sounds crazy,
but trust me, if you were to peek in,
you would be astounded.
Astounded like you were at the feet
of Moses or Noah or Peter, James, or Paul.

For me, every time, the experience is life changing.
This last session in October was especially so.
I wrote down a list of personal questions
that I have been seeking God for answers about
and then I prayerfully listened 
for communication from God
through His messenger The Holy Ghost.

1-How can I know my purpose or mission in life?
2- How will having my own personal goals make me happier?
3-How can I become more physically/mentally healthier? To what level should I commit myself?
4-Why has it been so hard for me to find a job?
5-What about more kids? I want to be done and I want to know now.
6-How long should I wait to finish my education?
7-How can I get more disciplined and make living the gospel priority #1?
8-What do I need to change as a wife and a mother?

I got a whole composition book
of notes
on personal guidelines
for my life.

I hope to share some.

Ian S. Ardern gave a particularly helpful talk.
It was entitled A Time to Prepare

Listen to this:
Mastering the techniques needed to
reach our goals includes becoming
the master manager of our time.
Our greatest happiness comes as we tune into the Lord and to those things which bring a lasting reward....Take those things that rob us of our precious time and determine to be their master, rather than allowing them through their addictive nature to be the master of us.

He also said: "Grind distractions to dust."

This talk answered a whole slew of my questions.
From this talk I made myself some new goals
that would assist me in showing God
by the way I use my time
that He is my first priority.

1-Quit wasting time on the computer and looking for validation online.
2-Make a goal to run a 5k.
3-Pray and study every day.
4-Follow the promptings of the spirit on a daily basis.

I've been using my time much more wisely, and I feel a million times happier.
Living a consecrated life isn't a sacrifice, it's one of God's very best blessings.
He looks after each of us individually and speaks to us.
He knows what we need.
I have found that seeking out the Lord in my life
always leads to greater personal satisfaction.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Ingenious Anjella

This is Anjella.
She has 8 kids.
She's ingenious.

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Her kids have mealtime aprons.
Personalized mealtime aprons.
7 of her 8 kids are boys
and bibs just weren't cutting it.

Isn't that the smartest thing you've ever heard?

I think I need one of these for my hubby.
He's always staining his clothes.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

You Made Me Love You

Tears are sometimes the only appropriate way to communicate what we feel.

Tears for little girls that grow up.
Tears for the privilege of being their mom.
Tears for perfect lyrics.
Tears for the clock that ticks too fast.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Crazy Caroline

We have been having challenges with Caroline.
Since the day she was born.
What a crazy kid.
We have nicknamed her Crazy Caroline.
We have Adorable Abigail.
Sweet Sophia.
Beautiful Bella.
Crazy Caroline.
Maybe we should say
Crazy Cute Caroline
so that she won't grow up with 
black sheep syndrome.

our most recent challenge
has been that Caroline
learned how to open doors.
She is always trying to make an escape.
Can't say that I blame her.

Well, as you all know
at our new rental home
one of the conditions of the lease
is that our pets are outdoor pets.
It has been nice not having the dog
under foot.
She loves her cozy house in the garage
where she can go outside
as she pleases.

Imagine my surprise when
I got out of the shower the other day
and found this.

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At least she wasn't out in the street
Not the dog, silly.

She sure does make for some great blog material.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Hankerin for The Hunger

Hey book club.

You are all invited to Utah to see the midnight premiere with me.

Who needs Twilight?

Monday, November 14, 2011

My monster's attitude of gratitude

I meant to post this picture for Halloween.
Sophia made some pretty cool art pieces
with her birthday clay.

In an upcoming post I will show you
Caroline torturing the poor things.
One tooth at a time.

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This morning I found a worksheet 
Sophia brought home from school.

I thought it was poignant
into the mind of a child that is truly grateful.

T eachers
H appiness
A merica
N ets
K indness
S ophia
G reatness
 I nternet
V acations
I ce Cream
N iceness
G randparents

I think I am grateful for all the same things, but I most enjoyed her insight into "nets". 
What would we do without nets?

I've been posting daily on facebook things I am grateful for. I thought you may like to hear.
I have adopted an attitude of gratitude in my life in the past few years
and it has changed my very nature. 
I have so much more joy than I used to when I thought so negatively all the time.

Count your blessing. Every day this month tell us something you are thankful for. Big or small. Day 1 - I am thankful that I am not diabetic. I am pretty sure I would be dead sometime in the last 24 hours.

Day 2 of gratitude (Did I start this? because if I did that's cool) I am grateful that I understand that when I love myself AND others at equal levels I am happiest

3: I am grateful for all my ladies (whichever state or religion they belong to). Laughing with the ladies last night at church was the highlight of my birthday.

Day 4: Today I am grateful for prayer. God is always there for me and He really does speak when we learn to listen.

Day 5 (belated) I am grateful that families can be together forever.

Day 6 (belated) I am grateful for amazing parents who although flawed are amazing examples of Christ-like love and devotion.

Day 7 (belated) I am grateful for a body that although flawed can work and serve. I am grateful for a sister with whom I can ALWAYS laugh. Love you Renee Wills Rymer. I am grateful that God got me home throw the snow-storm last night and that I had full confidence that he would protect me with a voice of warning.

Day 8: I am grateful for the great minds who put words on a page that touch my heart and mind. Books are quite possibly my best friends.

Day 9: I am thankful that I have been blessed with such a strong love for my husband and that I have the assurance that he loves me too because today I really need that. ROFL When are we ever going to get the honeymoon phase?

Day 10: I am grateful for the privilege of being a mother. My daughters amaze me every day. They are growing so fast and are always so beautiful. My daughters are God's way of telling me that I can't be all that bad. Thank you God for entrusting them to me and letting me watch them become amazing young ladies.

Day 11: I am grateful for a toddler who will watch TV. Even if this makes me a bad mom (especially for admitting it publicly) I get some much needed scripture/prayer/meditation time in the mornings when she watches TV.

Day 12: I'm thankful for old photo albums and great memories. Man, we thought our lives were hard when we had three kids under 4; those were good old days...I need to remember that on the hard days now.

Day 12: (I guess this is really a second entry for yesterday since today is Day 13. What can I say? Sundays make me extra grateful. :)Today I am grateful that my husband and I have made such great progress...we can actually go over the budget and still be speaking. It only took 14+ years for us to finally meet in the middle. Now, he spends the money and I tell him not to.

Day 13: Today we had a lesson at church about The Millennium. We discussed how the ones who won't be destroyed by fire will be the good people of all faiths and even the good people who were agnostic. Came home to many status updates from friends of all religions who went to church anywhere and everywhere today...so grateful for so many GREAT friends who are indeed GOOD people. Hope to see you all at The Second Coming.

Day 14: I am grateful for sleep, even if I have to take medication to get it. It's so nice to wake up in the morning knowing you were able to rest your mind and body.

Friday, November 11, 2011

We love our Veteran

We were so happy when we got the word
last month
that Uncle Tyler got home
to his base in Italy
safe and sound
from being deployed

We are so grateful for the sacrifices he makes for his countrymen.
We are also grateful for the sacrifices made by his family.

Thank you to all our service people.
You are our nation's greatest assets.

Book Review -
The Watsons Go To Birmingham

The Watsons Go to Birmingham - 1963The Watsons Go to Birmingham - 1963 by Christopher Paul Curtis

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I can't believe I never read this book until this year. WOW! Another great recommendation by my local librarian. This book was written by Christopher Paul Curtis, and was nominated for many awards including The Caldecott. It is beyond me why this book didn't win and Bud Not Buddy did. Bud Not Buddy was also a great read, but this book was phenomenal. Phe-nom-e-nal!

The characters are so real and the story so honest that I really truly thought it was a work of non-fiction the whole time I was reading.

The Weird Watsons are loveable. So loveable. So real. So funny. The book has a very light feel to it until the very end when the family of 5 takes a trip to Birmingham, where they come face to face with an ugly part of American history: the racism and hatred in the South during the civil rights movement.

This book was emotional. It was raw. It was funny. It was so real. I felt like I was a fly on the wall to the home of the Watsons and to the soul of each member of the family. They are all absolutely entertaining and it's fun to spy on a family dynamic that is fun.

The end was perfection. Pure perfection with the most unlikely of heroes. I don't want to give away too much, but once again love conquers all.

View all my reviews

Thursday, November 10, 2011


Mommy, I love oatmilk.

This one is too hot.
Blow on my oatmilk Phia.

Just right.
I love you baby bear.
I love you Momma bear.

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Monday, November 07, 2011

An Empty Well

I throw quarters in
but there is no splash.
I make my wish
as it clunks at the bottom.

I go elsewhere for water and wishes
because the well is empty.
I start making my wishes
for the well to fill
and keep dropping dimes.

I know someday the well
may be full of money
but then I will buy water
and make my greatest wish true.

Wells were made for wishes and water.

Sunday, November 06, 2011

The Miracles of Life

I have tried to capture
a good photo of the moon
for as long as I can remember.

I have never had a real nice camera
and keeping it steady enough
to get a focused photo
is really tricky at night.

On Halloween,
I finally got my shot.
I looked and looked for
an inspiring quote to go with it
but I couldn't find what I was looking for.

So I made my own.

I loved the story that I read by
Thomas S. Monson.
He is an inspired man of God
and his address titled
Finding Joy in the Journey
from 2008
is something that will get you
looking at your life
from a whole new perspective.
Many years ago I was touched by the story of Borghild Dahl. She was born in Minnesota in 1890 of Norwegian parents and from her early years suffered severely impaired vision. She had a tremendous desire to participate in everyday life despite her handicap and, through sheer determination, succeeded in nearly everything she undertook. Against the advice of educators, who felt her handicap was too great, she attended college, receiving her bachelor of arts degree from the University of Minnesota. She later studied at Columbia University and the University of Oslo. She eventually became the principal of eight schools in western Minnesota and North Dakota.
She wrote the following in one of the 17 books she authored: “I had only one eye, and it was so covered with dense scars that I had to do all my seeing through one small opening in the left of the eye. I could see a book only by holding it up close to my face and by straining my one eye as hard as I could to the left.”
Miraculously, in 1943—when she was over 50 years old—a revolutionary procedure was developed which finally restored to her much of the sight she had been without for so long. A new and exciting world opened up before her. She took great pleasure in the small things most of us take for granted, such as watching a bird in flight, noticing the light reflected in the bubbles of her dishwater, or observing the phases of the moon each night. She closed one of her books with these words: “Dear … Father in heaven, I thank Thee. I thank Thee.”
Borghild Dahl, both before and after her sight was restored, was filled with gratitude for her blessings.
We have so much for which to be grateful.
I know a God of miracles.
And I love Him with all my heart.
Dear Father in Heaven,
I thank thee also.
For all the miracles in my life.

Saturday, November 05, 2011

Window views

Just one week ago I had these views.
Now, all the trees are almost completely bare.

What are your favorite winter survival tips?
I'm not ready yet.

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Friday, November 04, 2011

I'm an idiot.

So, a week ago I set up comment moderation on my blog so that I could weed out the spammers more efficiently. They have gotten crazy as of late. So crazy that I considered becoming one to make some much needed cash. :) LG forbid it. You can thank him for being the sensible one.

Well, the 38 year old that I am, had totally forgotten until cousin Kim made me aware that she had commented but it wasn't showing up and it said it was waiting for me.

I do appreciate all the comments that were waiting for me...about 50 of them. Who is the oversensitive idiot now?

I am mostly just glad that you all aren't missing out on what I consider my best giveaway.

I do feel God pulling me in another direction, but I want to reassure the few of you that showed some disappointment that I will keep blogging here. It just won't have as much of my focus. And that is the way it supposed to be and I am happy about where I am and where I am going....much happier now that I know not all of you gave up on me all together and that I am just forgetful. God really does work in mysterious ways...sometimes even through our own brain freeze.

Hello? Anybody there?

I don't want to be manipulative. I have worked really hard at learning that people have their own choices to make and that I need to give them the space to for their own choices. Boy, that was a hard lesson to learn too. Especially when you grow up in a family where everyone is always up in everybody else's business.

But, I am curious. Does anyone even read this little blog anymore? I think I killed it to death. According to my stat counter, I know I get hits, but I was really really surprised that I just wrote a post giving away a free shirt with a value of $20 and I have not received one entry yet. Not one. Is it just that all of you don't want to go over to their website before leaving a comment? Or is it that I harped on the modesty thing too much? Or are you all like me and think you will never win anyway? Or is there really just no interest in the amazing halftee?

Anyway, I've been blogging a long time and lately this here little blog has been in a big 'ol drought in the comment department. I can't even get a comment on a giveaway. I believe it may be time to hang up the towel. I am not saying that to make you feel sorry for me, but I've been open with y'all during the whole journey and I feel like I should also be open at the end.

I don't blog solely for comments. I will always blog for my kids. I think they deserve their stories to be written and this here blog is the best place I have found for that to be done (with pictures to boot), but let's face it, if nobody is enjoying this thing I may as well slow down in the posting department. It's all good, I've got other ambitions and plenty of other avenues in the writing department. I have three books I have been too afraid to commit to and even if I am kidding myself with my writer's ambitions there is always my neglected good old fashioned journal.

I wonder if everyone isn't reading blogs anymore? Has facebook and twitter taken over? I know there are great popular blogs out there with large audiences so it can't be that blogging is no more. I have recently had time to reflect that mine will probably never be one of those of blogs. It's o.k! I think that it's time for me steer myself in another direction and trust God to a greater degree. I know He's got my back. It's not that those other bloggers are better than me, it's just that they found their callings in life, and I have not.

I have grown with this blog. It has been like the fertilizer to my roots, but I believe it may be time to not just bud, but flower. I need to flower in another direction. Toward the sun.

What is the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I believe it's time for me to change. I believe it's time for me to let go. I believe it's time for me to grow some wings and fly away from the mediocrity of comfort.

This blog may not have the ending that I have wanted all these years, which is thousands of readers, but it's not because of lack of effort and that is such a comfort to me. It will end with a fundamental change in me. That change is I no longer need thousands of readers. What good are thousands of readers if you aren't doing what God wants you to do. I've given it all I've got. I've come to the conclusion that this blog is just not my calling in life, no matter how much I want it to be. I'm not saying that to get your sympathy. I just want to be honest with myself. I have prayed a lot about this very thing. What is my mission in life? I want to use the time I've got in the way God wants.

I have taken this blog to good places. I have gotten hundreds of thousands of hits. I have been recognized by other bloggers. Most of all I have made some wonderful blogging world friends. My greatest recognition has been the times when you, my friends, have laughed and cried along with me. It's been a great ride. A great ride. It's something that I am very proud of. I don't walk away with my head hung in shame, but I will walk away with a greater vision and more courage than ever before. It's time for Alice to let go of her desires and get more in tune with God's will.

Yes, it's time. No matter how much I want to fight it. I've given this blog almost a decade of my life and it's time to let it go. Thank you friends for helping me get to where I am, even if it was just vicariously by being my imaginary readers. I thank each of you for being my audience because I know that took a lot of patience on your part.

I have scheduled out some posts and I have a bunch of drafts I need to finish, but after that I believe I will post only the family stories that I can't bear to forget or things that God puts on my heart.

Wow, this is emotional for me, but it's also exciting. God is so good to me. He has waited to let me see the need for forfeit after He gave me the strength for it and the vision for something else. Thank you my loving Father in Heaven. Thank you. Thank you for the past. Thank you for the future. But most of all thank you for the present moment when I know you are here with me.

This blog will never be by the wayside. It has been my northern star.

Book Review - Truckers

Truckers (Bromeliad Trilogy, #1)Truckers by Terry Pratchett

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The librarian at our local library has amazing taste in books. When she hands me a stack every time I go to the library I know I will like every single one. She is such a motivation for me to read often.

This book is the first in a series of three books and was recommended to me by her and she said, "You are going to love these." She was absolutely right. While reading the whole time I kept thinking I want to write books like these. Forget the huge daunting novel. How about a short, quirky, hilarious, and fun short series for older kids? I think I can do that.

The book is about a bunch of nomes. They are very literal and live in the walls of a store. They've been around since humans have even though they never show themselves to human. A group of nomes shakes things up when they arrive from the outside (a place no one thought existed). The inside nomes worship the store maker as their God and they try to follow all the signs in the store like "everything must go." The outside nomes try to be patient with the inside nomes funny ways and whimpy attitudes. The characters are wonderfully intricate and the plots are almost silly yet still intriguing. I read all three books in a week.

I hope that someday my kids will read these stories and get as many laughs as I did. Thanks you Terry Pratchett. You are so witty and I love your relaxed writing style.

View all my reviews

Thursday, November 03, 2011

Squashed Dinner Plans

Experts say that eating meals together as families have all kinds of benefits for everyone.
This article on CNN recently sited some of the best reason to eat dinner together.

1- Supper can be a stress reliever.
2- Kids might learn to love their veggies.
3- It's the perfect settings for new foods.
4- You control the portions.
5- Healthy meals mean healthy kids.
6- Family dinners help kids "just say no"
7- Better food, better report card.
8- Put a little cash in your pocket.

Recently, I tried out a new recipe for butternut squash soup. Shannon had served it at lunch and I enjoyed it so much I decided to make some for the family. You can find a close recipe here.

It was delicious. I slaved over it for hours. We sat down to dinner and everyone was instantly opposed to eating orange soup. Even my hubby wasn't too keen on the idea. He spooned it away and tried to pretend he loved it, but he wasn't fooling anyone.

So much for dinner being the perfect setting for trying new foods. CNN, you lie! My kids weren't learning to love their veggies that night. Everyone was more stressed. I hope it won't cause the girls to come home with bad report cards too.

I sat and enjoyed the soup while everyone else helped themselves to cereal. I gave a good sized take-home portion to our handyman who just happened to stop in at dinner to come to look at the furnace. He's a healthy kind of guy and was gracious. So gracious I thought about trading my family in for a second.

CNN, I would like to take this moment to give you a true benefit of butternut squash soup.
It's called "mom's gourmet lunch all to herself the next day."

And that my friends is how you make
lemonade out of lemons
soup out of squash.
Whichever you prefer.
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Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Giveaway - Halftees

I have a special post for you
in honor of my 38th birthday.

Happy birthday to me.

I'm giving away a halftee.
It's the layering piece for everyone.
Cute little tees for all purposes.
They have new styles up on their site today
so go and pick your favorite
and leave me a comment
with your name, e-mail, and desired style/color
(we'll save your size for private)
and I will give a halftee
to one lucky reader
at the end of my favorite month:

Why halftee you ask?
Well let me tell you.
As you know
at our house
modest is always hottest.
That's why we loved trying out Halftees.

The other day I walked outside
to find this message written on the sidewalk.

Be still my heart.

It looks like we are getting through to our girls.
Modesty is a principle of protection.
And our girls do it well.

One time my mother-in-law took them shopping.
She came home praising my name.
Our girls, on their own accord,
did all the tests before
deciding whether or not they should buy something.

Bend over.
Reach your arms up.
Slouch down.

No shoulder shots.
No butt shots.
No boob shots.
No belly shots.
No thigh shots.

O.k. grammy. Can we get this?
No hoochy mamas around here.
Halftees, a Utah based company,
are a great way to compensate
for the lack of covering in clothes on today's store racks.

And guess what my wonderful readers? 
You can get 20% off of all of your orders
until November 9th by using the code IMSOFUNNY.
(I would use the discount now, you know,
before you forget and
just in case you don't win the giveaway)

Halftees come in a bunch of colors and styles.
As you can see we prefer the white ones.
Go and check them out.
I'll be picking up some more for Christmas.
Even winter dresses are all sleeveless nowadays.

I am thinking about buying some
for some of the girls at church
When they wear sleeveless,
my kids don't understand.
I thought it was a church-wide standard
to cover our shoulders?

I will leave you with Sophia's part
for the upcoming Primary program.
She wrote it by herself.
LG and I love the part about "the fronts".
Notice the plural fronts.

Dressing modestly shows respect 
for Heavenly Father and myself.
We should never wear anything that is
tight or short shorts or miniskirts that reveal
our shoulders or your back and fronts.
When you dress modestly 
you show Heavenly Father that you love Him.
 Dressing modestly is important to you
and everyone around you.

Oh and one more:

More Than a Hero: Muhammad Ali's Life Lessons Presented Through His Daughter's Eyes by Hana Ali

When we finally arrived, the chauffeur escorted my younger sister, Laila, and me up to my father's suite. As usual, he was hiding behind the door waiting to scare us. We exchanged many hugs and kisses as we could possibly give in one day.

My father took a good look at us. Then he sat me down on his lap and said something that I will never forget. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to. Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected. Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell. Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You've got to work hard to get to them."

He looked at me with serious eyes. "Your body is sacred. You're far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too."

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Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Halloween - The Day After

I went to bed sick.
Not sick, like the flu.
Sick like honey don't move the bed
or I am going to hurl all over your face.
I've done it every year
since I can remember.
You would think I would have 
learned my lesson
as a youngster.
But, I guess I never did.

So now I am on the other side of the 
"only three pieces"
and I really should know better.
Way better.
And I guess somewhere deep down there I do.
But, apparently
my greedy little fingers don't.

Add this to the fact
that my stomach
isn't as tolerable as it used to be
and my bowels
bellowed through the night.
"Please don't do this to us,"
they screamed.
"We know you know better!"

I get out of bed
and resolve to eat nothing
but dairy and fiber
for at least 24 hours
if not 2,004 whole minutes.
I sit at the kitchen table
and notice that the kids must have
eaten 12 more pieces for breakfast
and stashed 20 each in their backpacks.
They made a sizable dent.
I long for the days of larger families.
I only have 4 kids
and I need at least 7
like my mom used to have
to get rid of this candy.
How can we possibly have more candy
than all 6 of my brothers and sister and I?

I chuckle to myself
because my kids really don't care
that I make them put all their candy in one pot,
Just like my mother used to do to me.
They protested, just like I did.
"No mom let us keep our candy in our dresser drawers."
They didn't fight back too strong
because secretly somewhere inside
they have the same screaming voice
like I do.
"Save us. Please!"
They ignore the voice
and they don't protest about the shared bucket
because it's bigger than they can remember
and they know they are still going to get
plenty of candy.
Too much candy.
I had to switch from my original choice to
a tupperware super-size bin to hold the mounds of candy.
You know, like a trough size.

I reach over and take an Almond Joy
because if I don't start eating them now
they will never go away.
Nobody in my family eats Almond Joy,
nobody but me.
I think I should retrieve all the Lemonheads
for Sophia because they are her favorites
until I realize that Lemonheads are to Sophia
like the dark chocolate is to daddy.
They are her responsibility
in saving the family from prolonged misery.

Then I grab a glass of milk,
as quick as I can
and I try to think of somewhere safe to hide the candy
but I might as well eat the Reese's on top
because it goes so well with a glass of milk.
The baby comes over and starts handing me
suckers of every kind.
Apparently she wants to help us all
out of our misery too.
Tootsie Pop, Blow Pop, Dum-Dum.
It's going really well
until she asks me to open the
eyeball sucker
and when we finally pry it open
it is broken in two.
She thinks I did it on purpose
and she is so sugared
that she throws a monster size fit.
She can only get away with that
the day after Halloween.
O.k. maybe the week after Halloween.
The week before I get to my wit's end
and chuck the rest of the candy into the garbage
a sneaky handful at a time.
Man, I should just stash it away
and save it for Valentines.
Oh, I can't even think about Valentines right now.
It's physically painful.

Meanwhile, I start at the 10 boxes of Candy sticks
(you know they come in little boxes of two
and resemble the old school candy cigarettes)
that Caroline had handed to me
before the suckers.
She wanted me to open them for her
and I didn't
because I didn't want to share.
They are my favorite.

Oh someone,
please come and rob us of our
Halloween candy.
Send it all to the kids
throughout the world
that really need it.
That way I'll have a viable explanation
for my four children
who are guaranteed
to be sick, ornery, and inconsolable the rest of the week.
I won't even go into what their bowels have to say to me.
Yes, I'm the child bowel whisperer.
The bowels tell me it's a little too personal
to tell you the nitty gritties,
but I will share the part of the secret
that says upset bowels sound like bellowing cows.
Milk me. Milk me. Milk me now.
Maybe I should tell the kids that their colons
made me throw it away.
"I'm so sorry girls
but they held me hostage until I did something drastic."

This is the first Halloween that my husband 
has celebrated as a diabetic. 
Well, the first year he's been diagnosed
He was probably diabetic
every year on Halloween since he can remember.
Now I have to eat his candy too.
The woes of being a mother.
You always have to pick up any slack
for non-cooperating members of the family.
Where is that neighbor who used to give us apples?
We need about 100 of him
then I could just can it all away
for the dead of winter.

Do you know that tomorrow is my birthday?
I think it is rather cruel of God
to give me a birthday during the week of the year
when everyone is just rolling about
trying to break down the heap.
One sickening bite at a time.
Oh, cookie monster,
I can't even think about you and your struggles right now
or I will start crying uncontrollably
and won't be able to stop
until I discover that Elmo
is an in the closest candy addict.

Save me. Please. Save me.

I am about to butterfinger it for lunch
and who knows where I'll be by dinner.
But no matter how far I go
or how sick I get
that blasted candy is going to be
staring at me, taunting me, calling me chicken
the rest of the month.

P.S. If you are anonymous comenter #2
from the October giveaway
on the LunchWars Post,
please make yourself known.
Maybe you can learn
from the nutrition nazi
the things that I am too dumb to incorporate.

P.P.S. I just found out that I not only got a free book
for doing that book review,
but I got paid $20.
If the book wasn't enough to steer
me away from the candy
maybe the money
can pay for an intervention.
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