Thursday, November 19, 2009

The future is Glee

I hope my Bishop won't find out this admission.

I love Glee!

Yes, it is inappropriate.

Teenage pregnancy & homosexuality all over the place.

I might as well throw it all out there.
I will also admit that I let my kids watch Glee on occasion.

And yes I am a horrible mother because guess what? They all love it as much as I do.

There are few things that we love more than humor and music around here.
We all live a life of music and humor. We live our own little whacked out musical.

I want you all to know that I try to be a good mom. Tonight, I at least started the show with the disclaimer to the children that they could watch Glee as long as they understood that it is wrong to have sex out of wedlock and it's morally wrong to be gay.

Sidenote: I love you gay people, but I won't budge on the correctness of the gospel principles. You gotta live the commandments. I was born as a bitty and it is not o.k. for me to go through life lashing out at people justifying it's OK for me to hurt everyone around me because I was born that way. - Oh man, I can see the comments a flowing - can't wait for this ball to roll. Being gay is not wrong because it hurts people, it's wrong because God said so. Period.
And go ahead hang me. I just admitted that I love Glee and I am a good Mormon girl therefore I am the worst kind of hypocrite. And I am sure some of you will say that I am also a homophobe....not true...those of you that really know me, know that I am a lover of the gays. Go ahead tell me how horrible I am. You can't tell me anything that I haven't heard before.

If God ever declares the Bible incorrect and that Sodom and Gomorrah (however you spell that) was really Zion, I will be the first in line to embrace all my gay friends and family members. (Not that I don't embrace them now, I will really embrace them with happiness that they can be gay and righteous.)

And for now when Jesus comes again I will stand with him on the issue...Well, I will try to stand with him, I will probably have to give up the Glee if I ever want that to happen. Not quite ready for that yet.

Well, on with my post.

Last night, the girls were up late finishing homework. I snuck in the other room to watch Glee. I figured out that I have to wait a whole day before it gets posted online and I didn't want to wait. LG was handling homework duty just fine. Last night was the first night I went to watch Glee on TV. I have been watching Glee on Hulu. Cool site. You can watch any tv show on it with very few commercials. It's like an online Tivo for the poor. You gotta wait 24 hours though.

I never watch TV. Really. With facebook, a blog, and trying to figure out how to work twitter, whose got the time? Until last night, I had only indulged in my Glee habit after school with the girls. Around here, Glee is like a way liberal updated version of an after school special. We justify it's viewing because we use it as a teaching tool. Well, last night, Abigail came out to see what I could possibly be doing. She was surprised to find me in front of the TV.

She pined for Glee and whined for her chance to watch it NOW. I told her "later!" She slowly moped back to the kitchen table for homework. She turned to LeGrand and said, "Hey Dad, did you know that Glee comes on TV?"

We're living the Jetsons people. Welcome to the future.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

It's official, she's a nerd.

Abigail has a friend at school.

I think she kind of likes him.

She denies it and will continue to do so, so please don't tell her I posted this.

(I really hope that nobody at her school reads my blog.
I would never forgive myself for spilling the beans.)

She must have a thing for the smart boys.
She has nicknamed him Google.

Because you can ask him anything and he knows the answer.

Wow. I think I married a google too.

The question is, does this boy now trump Papa? Because it used to be him that knew everything.

Can there be more than one google man in this world?

Can we just call papa, beta google?
Abigail did say that she could name her friend Encyclopedia Brown.
But, maybe we should save that title for papa.
It's so old school.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Uranus and UP

Here is Abigail trying to make Caroline smile.

I know I've blessed my children's lives eternally by gifting them my sense of humor. I know they are happy about it. I know because I hear their laughter on a consistent basis.

I am not so sure that their posterity will be so grateful, but if my theory that laughter is genetic is true, then I am sure they will be.

This evening, I pulled out one of Abigail's graded papers from her backpack.

As I read, my funny bone was struck like a beautiful chord.

I had to call LG at work to beam with pride.

Me: "LG, you gotta listen to this."

LG: After my third attempt "Alice, I can't understand a word you are saying, you gotta quit laughing."

Me: "Abigail brought this paper home. She turned it in this way. I can't stop laughing. At the top it is entitled Uranus. (oh c'mon, tell me some of you immature types are already laughing - LG was still silent) It then reads. 'The planet I was assigned was Uranus, now, don't laugh, Uranus actually has some interesting facts.'"

LG: "Alice, it's not funny, she is just saying it is an interesting planet." (Yeah, of course he would think that. She gets the scientific side from him)

I was out to prove that she gets a little DNA from me too. I hollered out to Abigail. "Why did you say not to laugh in this paper Abigail. Was it because it's a small planet?

Abigail: trying to be serious "No, mom, it's just because the name sounds funny."

Me: "Why does it sound funny Abigail. I know you are too smart for that. Do you know what an anus is?"

LG on the other line is denying that she would know any such thing. At which point Abigail busts out in laughter. "Yeah, mom, an anus is the hole in your bum."

That's my girl!

The conversation finished by me using every ounce of self control to stop laughing and discussing LG's further plans for the evening. He said, "If basketball is lame, maybe I will stop by Redbox on the way home."

Me: "Yeah, that would be fun. Instead of Redbox, we could just watch U - P (spelling out the name of the movie so the kids wouldn't catch on to a future Christmas gift.)

LG responds to my fits of laughter with, "What are you talking about Alice?" I reply while trying to breathe instead of laugh, "I said we could watch YOU PEE." LG was still clueless. I had to explain that I was spelling the movie title at which point he gave me a sad sounding chuckle.

C'mon people. Tell me you laughed.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Knock Knock

Knock Knock.

Who's there?


Nobody who?


The other day, the girls and I got some good laughs while telling & retelling this oldie but goodie.

The reason for this post is to admit I have been missing in action.
I would like to explain.
I have never claimed to be a real blogger,
but sometimes I feel bad for disappointing those
who like to read "unreal" blogs.
To you three people who found me in my other cyber FB world, I am truly sorry for my absence.
I just have a hard time getting the creative juices flowing when I am sleep deprived and busy eating rocky road ice-cream to deal with the stress that is always present in my mind while dealing with a crying infant.
I am also sorry to all of you who have felt the pinch in numbers while I haven't been reading my blogroll either. I hope to be back soon.
Just as soon as I find myself on the other side of the knock knock joke.