Monday, March 31, 2008

It's a necklace and a giveaway

from the one and only lisa leonard. You all should try and get one.

Church Sign Humor

I recently posted about how I love reading the creative church signs which are such a huge part of Southern living. Here is one that I have been driving past lately that I thought you all could enjoy. Every time I see it, it puts a smile on my face.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Chicken Humor

Here's a funny one about chickens...I thought it appropriate since I am almost an adopted chicken farmer now.

Bob, the chicken farmer

A life-long city man, Bob decided to leave the rat-race, move to the country and become a chicken farmer, so he found a nice chicken farm and bought it. Turned out that his next door neighbour, a kind, generous man named Fred, was also a chicken farmer.

Fred came for a visit one day and said, “Chicken farming isn’t easy. Tell you what. To help you get started, I’ll give you 100 chickens.”

Bob was thrilled. Two weeks later the Fred stopped by to see how things were going, and Bob said, “Not too good. All 100 chickens died.”

Fred said, “Oh, I can’t believe that. I’ve never had any trouble with my chickens. I’ll give you 100 more.”

Another two weeks went by, and Fred stops in again. Bob told him, “You’re not going to believe this, but the second 100 chickens died too.”

Astounded, Fred asked, “What went wrong? What did you do to them?”

Well, Bob said, “I’m not sure whether I’m planting them too deep or not far apart enough.”

Sunday Fun

Here is a good joke for your next Old Testament Lesson:

The Whole Lot

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt.”

The son asked, “What happened to the flea?”

The Motherly Wisdom

I found a way to blog and interact with my children at the same time.....WOW! Check it out. What a great Sabbath Day activity. I am following the advice of our Sunday School lesson: helping my children to record their experiences. I am very proud of their work...they created their own blog, all on their own! I just acted as their scribe, as you will see.

Lookee Here

Look at the empty laundry baskets.

This one is for Chrys...No, I don't think I can live up to your systematic way of life, (although I am impressed) but, I give you the highest kudos for your amazingness and for motivating me enough to catch up on my laundry this week! (If any of the rest of you have no idea what I am talking about, read this)

It has been a very long time that on Saturday night I am DONE with the laundry! And guess how I did it? I folded them while waiting for the pics and video to upload to my blog!

And, to all the rest of you that felt my pain: ladies, be of good cheer, I am now living proof that we can all still blog and keep up with our long as you've got four hours to give every Saturday.

No pile in front of my dryer. WOW!

Saturday, March 29, 2008

27 Chicks

Every day between Sophia's kindergarten pickup and Abigail's pickup, I go over to the Aders, and Valerie and I walk while we let the kids play. We want to show up her hippy sons when we hike with them on the Appalachian trail for a couple of days. (they don't think we can do it)

On Thursday, the Aders added 28 baby chicks to the 4 baby ducks that I already posted about. Abigail was heartbroken after hearing Sophia and Bella tell her all about the chicks, and so after school yesterday, we all went back to the Aders so that Abigail could get her turn to see the baby chicks.

I was heartbroken to hear that my runt (the first one that Valerie put in my hand - what a great first experience - it kind of convulsed and pooped on me) had died in the night...Valerie gave her a proper burial by chucking her over the back fence into the BEYOND at the beginning of our walk. Later, I realized that we should have at least given the runt a name before we disposed of an afterthought I would like to affectionately call her Chicken Little.

As you heard in the video, as of yesterday at 3:00 the chickens had no names. Me, being the animal lover that I am, can not let any living thing go nameless. Valerie's sister gave her the idea of painting the baby chicks toenails to help her differentiate them while they grew.

So, yesterday, every one of the chicks got their toenails polished (Abigail was a great help with this task) and a they are:

1- Mary (she is calm and peaceful like the Mary's in the scriptures)

2- Janice (she is loud and annoying, like Chandler's ex-girlfriend on Friends)

3- Deeny (she was an escape artist just like Hoodini)

4-Henny Penny (she is a gold chicken with silver nail polish - she had to be named after money)

5- Strawberry (she is a sweet chick with red nail polish)

6- Diana (gold chick with purple nail polish - Purple and Gold were my HS colors and the Lancers were our mascots - we named her after royalty)

7- Big Momma (she is one big chick)

8- Angelina ( she had pink nail polish with feathers stuck to her toes, she is named for the ballerina)

9- Jo (she's the little tomboy)

10- Shaniqua (she's the black chick)

11- Frances (she's got the French manicure)

12- FloJo (she is black, fast, and has fancy silver nails)

13- Whoopi (black and full of life)

14- Dora (the boys named her - she's got a spot on her neck, totally irrelevant)

15- Jemima (another black chick)

16- Addie (she's a crazy chick we added the I E to the A D D)

17 - Decrescendo (when you pick her up, she's really loud, and then she quiets down)

18- AnnaBelle (she tried to eat Valerie's hand)

19- Molly (she wanted to get back in the pack with all the other chicks real bad, we named her after all the other Molly Mormons that we know who are tryint to keep up)

20- Jane (she was just a plain old not exciting chick)

21- Ruby (the boys named this one)

22- Ginger (she pecked some red nail polish onto her beak and it made her look like she was wearing lipstick - we named her after the Gilligan's Island star)

23- Fiona (she had bed head and was real grouchy- we just liked the name and thought her characteristics were in sync with an hogre)

24- Dorothy (she's got a dot on her beak - we named her after my Grandma who hated to be called Dot for short)

25 & 26- MaryKate and Ashley (they're identical twins)

27- Lucy (she got the sparkly nail polish, so we named her after a stripper - I wanted to name my Bella Lucy so badly, but my mother and another friend both told me that Lucy was a name for a stripper - I don't agree but it ruined the name for me. But, HA, I showed them, I now have Bella and an adopted chicken named LUCY..and everyone LOVES LUCY)

Thanks for the memories Valerie! I cannot wait to keep painting toenails every Friday. And, I also can't wait to get farm fresh eggs for real cheap!

A Tennessee Spring

These pictures are for all of you to enjoy (and be jealous, if you will)!

But, these photos are especially for my anonymous naysayer who thinks that I am a Utah snob.

I remind you all that I am 2/3 California, 1/6 Utah, and 1/6 Tennessee.

But, I can't wait to be mostly Tennessee...I love it here.
How can anyone NOT love Tennessee in the Spring?
I dare to say that there are not many more prettier places throughout the country, during this time of year.

Now, August in TN, with all it's humid glory, that's a different story.
Stay tuned for the dogwoods...they aren't out yet. And, FYI, if you plan move to Tennessee, you better learn the name of lots plants and trees, or YOU will be the ignorant one. Everyone here knows so much more about nature than I do.

But, that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy it or appreciate it! Because I do SOOOO much!

Here's my version of Spring mixed with one of my favorite hymns.

For The Beauty of the Earth

For the beauty of the Earth,

For the beauty of the skies,

For the love, which from our birth,

Over and around us lies,

For the beauty of each hour,

Of the day of the night,

Hill and vale, and tree and flow'r,

Sun and moon, and stars of light,

For the joy of human love,

Brother, sister, parent, child,

Friends on earth, and friends above

For all gentle thoughts and mild,

Lord of all, to thee we raise,

This our hymn of grateful praise.

She's just so cute and funny

Bella: "Dad when you buy me a new bike, you need to get me a basket and a bell. Right now when I am about to hit someone, I just have to yell, 'Coming through'!"

And, this sentence speaks volumes as to the girl's personality.

She will accomplish whatever she desires in this life.

And, look at how photogenic she is...the girl can't take a bad picture.


Our friends, The Aders, got four baby ducks a few weeks ago. It is so funny to hear Valerie's two grandsons repeatedly remind everyone, "We are going to eat two and keep two."

I guess they are learning the facts of life while they are young. Surely they don't know all of the facts of life yet.

The other day, Valerie and I looked out the window to see all three of my girls jumping on the trampoline, with her two grandsons who had stripped all the way down to their underwear.

All of the kids seemed totally oblivious. They were just laughing and having a good old time...that is a story that will be fun to tell in a few years.

Going back to the ducks and the Aders. Kristy says that duck tastes sooo good. They bought the ducks for the sole purpose of having a gourmet meal. I think I will have to bribe Kristy with a paid ticket to her favorite restaurant, so that she can spare the lives of these ducks....No wonder why they call it a DUUUUCKKK! My only unasked question is this, "How can vegetarian Uncle Brian stand to live in the same house as all the carnivoric savages?"

Do you love music?

Would you like a new used I-pod? Go here for a cool giveaway.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Oh...the laundry!

To start a long post, and hopefully motivate you to keep reading, here is a joke I read recently:

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, “What setting
do I use on the washing machine?”
“It depends,” I replied. “What does it say
on your shirt?”
He yelled back, “University of Oklahoma.”
And they say
blondes are dumb…

Warning this is a loooooong post...but it just had to be done all together, and if you want to know why, you must read the whole thing.

The laundry that a mother of 3 has to gather, treat, wash, (and sometimes rewash) fold, and put away is NEVER ENDING. My friend Tracy told me that if you ever want a glimpse of eternity, you should just compare it to laundry. Eternity will be different and hopefully a lot more fun than laundry, but the cycles will probably very similar. Clean, put away, wear, get it.

I have posted about laundry and here (for the more spiritual side of laundry). It shouldn't surprise you that the subject has reared its ugly head again. I am a mother. And mothers are made of the stuff they learn while laundering. Some of us glean more lessons than others. That is why I like to take so long to do my laundry...I have the opportunity to learn so much more this way.

A couple of weeks ago, Faye and her mom, Grandma Henderson stopped by. They were on their way to go and help a very pregnant cousin, but some bad weather gave them a "wait out a Southern storm" pit stop at my house. They were greeted by my 10 loads of laundry waiting so patiently on family room floor to be folded. The pile had been growing for at least three days.

Grandma didn't even try to contain her amazement, as I kept bringing her basket upon basket of clean and wrinkly clothes (the only way we fold laundry around here is wrinkly). I have to give Grandma credit though, she was so cute, as she just kept folding steadily and cheery.

Grandma grew up with 10 siblings in a log cabin in the hills of North Carolina. She also raised 4 children. In response to the hour of the 3 of us folding constantly (except when I stopped to snap photos) Grandma said with all seriousness, "I have never seen this much laundry in my life. It reminds me of when I was growing up and my mom didn't do laundry between Christmas and Old Christmas, and even then we didn't have this much." (Grandma didn't know what Old Christmas was, but you can read here for a good history interesting)Yep, I can always amaze people; even when they are aged and think that they have experienced everything, they really just haven't spent enough time with ME!

Well, I have to say that I was kind of embarrassed, and partially relieved...luckily, there was no lingerie in the pile. Faye also did my dishes; it was lucky for her that they had only been piling up since that morning. (did you know that I have NO dishwasher? - married for ten years and I have only had a dishwasher for a total of 10 months - and THAT is something to brag about - my hands are even still soft at times)

It was so nice of Faye and Grandma, especially considering they were only here a total of 2 hours. What can I say though, LG is a product of some of the best women in the world? I hollered out as they were leaving, "Any time you want to come and do my laundry or my dishes, just stop on by."

It can probably go unsaid, but laundry is always something that I have NOT mastered. What can I do to make it less torturous...I have no answers...yet.

So, when I was out with some girls the other night, we sat and talked and talked. We had so much fun, even if The Olive Garden fed us "puke dip"(affectionately named by the one and only Cally) OG's new Smoked Mozzarella Fonduta Dip is NOT good. That was an was nasty (what a bummer) And, yes, I took a picture of it. (Keep reading this does have to do with laundry)

If you want to read from the girls I was with, go to Cally, Lori, and Mandy. Sorry, Rachel doesn't have a blog (what is she thinking?) I had no idea that Cally and I shared an affinity for Black Tie Mousse Cake....YUMMY! But they changed the crust from Oreos to cake. I hope they go back, it used to be so much better; I was so disappointed.

Come to think of it, I was disappointed with the only two things I ordered that night, between the girls and the bread sticks, I didn't even notice.

Anyhow, back to the laundry. Throughout the night, I was laughing so hard because it was as if we couldn't start ONE sentence without the word blog in it. Here are examples of starter sentences. "On my blog", "Oh your blog", "Did you read that blog", "That is some great blog material" or the best being "I have got to blog about that".

On the way home, we were discussing how pathetically addicted we all are at the moment...and it only makes it worse that we feed off of each other.

To change the subject, I proposed the question, "Can anyone help me with my laundry dilemma?"

We had a great lengthy discussion of many great ideas that I am too lazy to try and have already ruled out. The discussion really led to my confession of forgetting to stay on top of my laundry because of my blog. The girls and I all decided that they should send me random "do your laundry" reminders in the my blog's comments from time to time. This way I couldn't conveniently forget. You can imagine my delight, when a week later, Cally posted this. (She has a way with surprise...she waited just long enough for me to forget the conversation...the Cruze's are so good with the element of surprise)

This is what the boys did while we went out. ..

Maybe I should have taken over my laundry for them..surely we would have got home before 2 am if they were folding instead of warring....Man, I can't remember the last time I stayed up until 2 when blogging wasn't involved.

Have I ever told you that I used to be a secretary?

This is pathetic! Oh well... I have lost a lot of other talents since becoming a mother. But, I am happy to report I have also gained some more important ones.

62 words


Thanks for the fun Erika.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Nope, I'm not a Native.

I saw this sign posted the other day and thought it was hilarious.
Yes, that word is supposed to be tamales. I am not sure if it is misspelled or just misunderstood.

People in TN just don't get Spanish. I almost died laughing the first time I heard the word tortilla pronounced TOR-TILL-UH. I had to quickly stop myself from reacting out loud because the TN native was serious, she wasn't trying to repeat Napoleon Dynamite.

Here are some other things that I had to learn after moving to TN.

1. to run if you hear a banjo. (that is towards the banjo for those of us that are bluegrass lovers)

2. Walmart is GOD's department store.

3. Convenient stores are man's best friend. (I would argue that people know this one all over the country)

4. Moonshine can cure any sickness, virus, and sometimes disease.

5. Hillbilly isnt a label, its a language. (that I readily admit, I do not know)

6. It's baseball season all year long because everyone has a dip. (chewing tobacco, that is)

7. Bright orange T-shirts should be worn every Friday with pride, and if all your Orange is dirty (which is NEVER for natives) a John Deere shirt or hat is the next best thing to help you fit in.

8. They're not rednecks, they're Appalachian Americans. And if you can't pronounce Appalachian correctly, don't utter it at all. (App uh latch un)

Bowling for a Break

I recently posted about LG's desire to join a bowling league to escape the female hormones that are rampant at our house.

So, over Spring Break, we did the next best thing. We went bowling with all the female hormones in tow. Lucky for LG, we joined some of our friends from the testosterone family.
I have to say Matt is one fierce competitor when it comes to who has the most testosterone, and I am only saying that to get him to read my blog.

Here are some pictures in the form of how to have a successful time when bowling with children.

Tip #1: Kick back and try to enjoy the constant motion of the children. Try not to worry about the children throwing the bowling etiquette out the window. Hope that you don't get people from the redneck bowling league on the lane next to you. (Man, I knew I should have taken their picture)

I know this is a picture of Rita's backside, but you can't really see it, and I wanted you to all see her knocking down ONE pin...and we all know that is the hardest thing to do when bowling. Unfortunately, the picture is too small here and you can't see her blue ball knocking down the pin either.

But, Tip #2: Aim the best you can, and let the bumpers take care of the rest. And try not to worry about anyone taking a picture of your backside.

Tip #3: Demonstrated by Sophia. Dry your hands on the hand blower as often as possible. This seemed to be more fun for the kids than the actual bowling. That blower was never idle throughout the night.

Tip #4: Keep your eye on the ball.

Tip #5:
Try not to obsess about the score.

Tip #6: Say Cheese when your moms get out the cameras, and you will be duly rewarded.

Tip #7: Dig in, because when you said cheese,
your mothers responded with the Nachos. And everybody loves Nachos: big and small.

Tip #8: Take a nap before the final frame.
And the final tip of the night:
Go bowling on the night that games only cost $1.
No matter what goes wrong, everyone will be happy, even the dad's leave happy.
$20 for our family of 5, and you know he couldn't have bowled in a league that cheap.
And who wants to bowl with all the rednecks anyways?
They would never jump up and down for you when you get a strike.
And, they would have most definitely threw you out when you missed that split, instead of climbing up into your lap for a hug.
(not that you would want a hug from them anyway, and you certainly wouldn't want them climbing in your lap)

Everyone loves Rita

I have never claimed to be the most organized blogger, but today I realized that I made a big blogging no no.

I just posted about winning my MaryKay stuff from Michelle.

But, I totally spaced this cool stuff that Rita brought over because I won her 80's music raffle. It has been sitting on my piano, and until I got on a cleaning kick during the past few days, I had forgotten about it. (I bet you have all been wondering where I have been: getting reaquainted with the joy of a clean house and car, and I have to give the credit for that to Cynthia)

Yeah, you heard it right, I guessed ONE 80's song title before the millions of others of Rita's readers. And by some miracle, I won the raffle. Thanks to Nicholas for drawing my name.

And the song I knew?'s a good blast to the past: King for a Day by the Thompson Twins. C'mon, you know you want to sing it....A king for just one day...I would give it all away!

I told you that we were on a winning streak. Anyhow, I love the stationary stuff Rita. A woman can never have enough cards, post its, or journals. Thank you Rita! If everyone doesn't love you already, they should. And my favorite thing in the gift bag: a silver bookmark with Rita's favorite quote:

It is never too later to be what you might have been. ~ George Eliot
I met Rita when Abigail and Ryan were in the same kindergarten class. Ryan and Abigail have been friends for three years. Wow, time does fly. I am so glad to have Rita as my friend. Not only is she a great blogger, but she is a wonderful mother and a mean bowler. Everyone loves Rita! And, as promised I will not post a picture of her butt from when we went bowling last week. And I am not saying that it doesn't look good, not that I was checking her out. he he I am just obliging Rita's request. Here is the best picture I got of you typical of what you do best: mothering.

And in honor of the winning occasion:

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Be happy with help.

I am a huge advocate for mental health. Most people that read my blog may not know this, but I was diagnosed as Bi-Polar Type II about 4 years ago. I am very lucky to have a mild case that is manageable. They call me "high functioning" even though on some days I wonder why.

I just wanted to post a link to J.K. Rowling's words to people who may be suffering with depression. When speaking of her own desire to take her own life, she encourages others to "go and get help". I cannot tell you how important this is. So many people just resign themselves to the misery when with a little professional help they can be very happy.

Don't you think JK Rowling is one happy lady? I am happy most of the time. People! You can be happy! So, get help, if you need it.

From the wierd news....

there is new meaning for going postal.

Monday, March 24, 2008

The Sacrament That Spoke To Me

This may be the only Easter post that I find the time for this year.
I have just been so swamped.
I guess I am really playing catch up for blogging way too much for the past month or so.
Tonight, while deciding which post to do first,
I decided to start with the one that meant the most to me.
I hope that is o.k. with the rest of you.

On this Easter Sunday, as I took the Sacrament at church, I was reminded of a special experience I had a while back. This experience deepened my love for my Savior, Jesus Christ, and I hope it will do the same for the rest of you, even if you're not a mother.

It was one of those moments in life; it was so minuscule, and especially so if compared to the vast eternities. Without the presence of the Holy Spirit it was a moment that could never be recalled. I was a new mother desperate for some quiet time in my life. I desired nothing more than a period of 5 minutes where I could just be close to God. This Sunday, during the Sacrament, I wanted my participation in the Lord's Supper to find meaning again. For months, if not years, it had just seemed to be a jumble of trying to quiet my three small daughters. I needed to feel closer to my Savior, so that I could somehow find the strength to overcome my own weaknesses, particularly my impatience with my young children.

So, I sat with my children and tried my hardest to focus on Jesus Christ and all that He means to me. During the Sacrament prayer, I listened intently and as the words were uttered, "that they always do remember Him, that they may have His Spirit to be with them", I was somehow filled with the Spirit. On that day, I succeeded at finding God's realm. Reflecting back, I realize that nothing feels better than feeling the Spirit of the Lord. Nothing. In God's realm, everything is peaceful, everything is right, and everything is love.

I prayed a fervent prayer that I would always remember Him, and that I could even do so during the week to come, especially when I was the least patient. I thought of my daily challenges and how sometimes it seemed as if a spilled glass of milk could just make me want to run away from home. Oh yes, my challenges were constant; there was the absence of my law student husband, the money that was always stretched to the limit, the never-ending needs of the children, the piles upon piles of laundry, and the mess made by a child and cleaned by their mom, only to be followed by another one which always seemed more extensive. How could I always remember Him?

With the presence of the Spirit, the physical messes somehow turned into the spiritual messes. In this minuscule moment, I felt that Christ was mending my spiritually broken heart. He was fixing the messes that I had in my heart. The Spirit whispered that it wasn't about my children and their messes, it was about me and my mess. I wasn't taking the time to realize who these children really were: they were God's daughters and I was the mother privileged enough to clean up after them for a time. The wisdom was imparted: when I learned to be a mother with a cheerful heart, I would find the patience and the quiet that I desperately needed in my life. If I would mother with God's wisdom I could be blessed with the Spirit always.

I prayed. What was God's wisdom that I needed? I sat and I listened to the still small voice. The little noises from around me started gaining a volume in my ears. But instead of being annoyed by the noise I was being blessed with some reminders. Each child's cry echoing from chapel was suddenly not annoying at all. Jesus Christ became even more sacred to me and loved by me as I remembered that he loved each of these children. God's wisdom was that He loved them just as He loved me.

And then when the moment was almost over, I was blessed with a very special last reminder. I heard something that I had never noticed before. It was the sound of sacrament cups being dropped into the trays. Every plunk seemed to get louder and louder, and every other noise from the room became more and more faint. I closed my eyes to listen more intently. Those plunks seemed to be so frequent. It was as if I could hear them resonating from around the world, and throughout time. I could not contain the emotion, the tears began to flow. Jesus Christ suffered the infinite atonement for all of these people. And, I was just one of the fortunate. He died for me so that I could be forgiven as I participated in the sacrament for my impatience and whatever else I wanted to change in my life. I was a mother who wanted to be better. And, Jesus Christ would bless me with my pure desire. Jesus Christ loved us all, children and adults, and somehow that fact would give me the patience I needed.

I'm so pretty and witty and wise

I am quoting the words to an old song called "I'm so pretty"(for those of you who are not familiar with the theatre)...From the words of the song, I guess it was an original version of "You're so vain"!
My MaryKay stuff arrived on Friday and I now feel pretty and witty and wise all at once. (I usually just feel witty and wise - ha) Thank you to Michelle for hosting the giveaway.

I am so happy to have won something, especially free eye make up remover and brushes and moitsurizer. And, I have already put some samples to the test, and with the rest, I plan to have a make-up party with my girls.

Now if someone could mail me about 10 extra hours so that I can get around to all my posts, I would really appreciate it.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Can Faye figure it out?

I love my mother-in-law Faye. I really do! She is at the top of my "I love" list. She is one of the people in my life that I can not imagine living without. I literally have been brought to tears several time by the thought that she will more than likely kick the can before I do. I will be utterly lost in this world without her.

Here is a picture of Faye and her good friend Jean on their last visit to my house.

I thought that the picture is appropriate because Faye has taught me more about friendship than anyone else I know. I am so blessed to have Faye in my life. (I also just had to put this picture of Jean on the blog because she hates to have her picture taken)

I helped Faye set up her blog today. (go and leave her a comment) In response to Faye's surges of trepidation with the technology, I kept trying to reassure her that she couldn't ruin anything unless she pushes a delete button. I came home to find this quote in my box... I thought it was especially pertinent to the occasion of Grammy starting her new blog in her ripe old age:

"To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer."

You have to know that this is especially funny to me because I have always told Faye that she is absolutely perfect. She adamantly opposes this idea and has even let out a curse word just once to prove to me that she isn't which I am sure she instantly crawled to the quiet of her room to offer up a prayer of repentance.

I can only hope that by introducing Faye to the blogging world I can someday say that I was truly instrumental in helping her "really foul things up". I will feel so powerful knowing that I could influence one of the greatest souls in this world to come over to the dark side once in a while...even if that dark side is just the world of blogging...because I know Faye will never utter another curse word in her life!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

How do you like your easter eggs?

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the “seniors’ special” was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99.
“Sounds good,” my wife said. “But I don’t want the eggs.”

“Then I’ll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents, ’cause now you’re ordering a la carte,” the waitress said.

“You mean I’m going to have to pay more for not having the eggs?” my wife asked, incredulously. “Then I’ll take the special.”

“How do you want your eggs?” asked the waitress.

“Raw, in the shell,” my wife replied. She took the two eggs home.

My singers update

Yeah for David Archuleta. He took forgotten lyrics mistake last week and made himself better. Now his forgotten lyrics are forgotten by all. I thoroughly enjoyed him last night.

I was with the judges on being disappointed in Brooke White last night. I hope she will go back to singing stationary. I couldn't believe that she did so bad with a Beatles song. Who can bomb a Beatles song besides KristyLee Cook?

And, LG was so upset that her dress was too revealing...he was thoroughly disappointed, despite my efforts in telling him that it was relatively modest. Oh, you should have heard what LeGrand was saying....I will save it for my own wasn't very positive, but let's just say that he expects people (performers or not) to live up to their temple covenants (dressing modestly being one of the most important). If it was up to LG, he would have single handedly voted her off last night, just because of her dress!

And isn't it funny that Paula Abdul will always compliment someone on what they look like whenever she is about to dish out negative feedback? Like saying, "well, you look gorgeous tonight" makes up for the following, "but, your pitch was all over the place, you chose the wrong song and you may be in trouble".

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Oh no, they're mutiplying!

This is what LG exclaimed, when we looked out on Sunday to see two ugly cloned vans across the street.

And, if you have no idea what I am talking about, you will have to read this previous post about the Preacher's van.

Lucky for us, the working van drove away a good twenty minutes later. It looked as though it just came over to offer a short pep talk to his battered twin. Unfortunately, our lovely preacher neighbor's van must have some kind of spiritual connection to his front lawn.

She's got the world at her feet.

This post should be read by mothers raising their first child,
it truly could save you some suffering in the long run!

I have to laugh whenever I see people boasting the talents of their toddlers. I am not laughing AT you my mother friends, just WITH you. (unless you aren't laughing, and then I guess I am laughing at you) I so used to be the same way. I used to love to compare my little girl with other children. "Oh, yeah, she knows all of her alphabet, she can count to 100, and she has every Book of Mormon prophet memorized" and this was at the age of 2. (and this was the truth)

But, several years ago that child comparison game got very old for me. How did I get past it, you ask? I just birthed a few more kids that weren't labeled as "prodigy material". It only took me two seconds to realize that just because one child learns faster, it didn't make her entitled to better success. My other two children are also very bright in their own ways, and they have every bit of a chance at success than Abigail does. (even if Bella is almost 5 and still doesn't know how to write every letter)

I used to drill Abigail over and over again, and she loved it. My other two children, don't love being drilled. And, I am happy to report that I have gladly accepted that they will learn most everything they need to know in school; I do not need to send them into school ready to pass kindergarten. (I did that with Abigail and all it did was lead to her own boredom)

Abigail could read at 3. She could do math by 4. She is extremely smart. In soccer, she can play a mean forward, but because she is even smart on the soccer field, she is put at midfield (she is smart enough to play offense and defense).

Abigail was labeled as "smart", but what did that do for her? It hasn't boosted her drive, it has only made it tainted. I recently read an article in the Reader's Digest that says that a parent should not praise a child's intellect, but their effort. We found this out the hard way.

Here's the quote from the article, Inspire Your Kids:
Social psychologist Carol Dweck, PhD, tested the effects of overpraise on 400
fifth graders while she was at Columbia University. She found that kids praised
for "trying hard" did better on tests and were more likely to take on difficult
assignments than those lauded for being "smart."

So, now that Abigail is 8, and still ingenious, what do we focus on? We focus on her motivation. We focus on the fact that just because she is smart it doesn't mean that she can sluff.

It is a fine act of balancing. We want her to pave her own way, and not do things because we want it, but because she wants it. When I recently read this article I felt really good about not pushing her too hard. I knew there had to be a reason (besides our own laziness) that we shouldn't have to stay on her case 24-7.

Little did I know, that Abigail has a great effect on other children. Do you remember Doogie Howser,? Well today, psychologists are calling The Doogie Howser effect good for competition. They say that because of overachieving children, normally developed children try harder. No wonder that Sophia and Bella are more driven, they are trying to keep up with Abigail. Abigail better watch it, or they will just pass her right by.

Consequently, I knew there was a reason that I recently have been learning not to compare myself to others. I just figured out that everyone has the world at their feet and everyone has a different role to play in that world. I don't need to push myself because Doogie is a child doctor, I need to push myself towards the goals that I set for myself. Who cares what Doogie is doing?

And it is precisely for this new found knowledge: that of the Doogie Howser effect, that I am reminded again that LG is a genius and I am just one of those hamsters in the wheel trying to catch up. LG never pushes himself because someone else seems to be doing better than him. He truly doesn't even pay attention to what other people are doing. When I used to ask him, "how did everyone else do on the final?" He would say, "I don't know Alice, I really don't care." And he was you see how that can make a person emotionally healthier?

Why doesn't he care, you ask, because he has always known that he is a genius. He was told so since he was a child. He was an oldest. And, as the oldest, what do you think that he is always working on? You got it, his motivation! (You see, this is just one big round cycle) Me, on the other hand, I was a middle child. I have always known that my intellect is average and that if I wanted to outdo others, (especially those people called my smart older siblings) it would come by pure effort alone. And, I am proud to say that I took that challenge head on.

Until recently, that is, when I learned that when you jump off the wheel, it means that you get automatic "smarter" status. Guess what, in the past few months, my IQ just jumped a good 20 points or so. Now, that's what I call having the world at your feet.

Monday, March 17, 2008

David Archuleta, again.

I wish you only 4 leaf clovers!

We are on spring break and so today has been one of my favorite kinds.
A long enjoyable lazy day full of green sugar:

Cinnamon Rolls from the Mall

1 T. dry yeast
1 cup warm milk
1/3 cup white sugar
1/2 cup melted butter
1 tsp. salt
2 eggs
4 cups flour
Dissolve yeast in warm milk. Add the rest if the ingredients and mix well. Knead into a ball. Let rise until double in size. When ready, roll out to about 1/4 inch thick. Spread with filling as described below.

1/4 cup butter, softened
1 cup brown sugar
3 T. cinnamon
 Spread butter on dough evenly. Sprinkle sugar and cinnamon over dough evenly. Roll dough up. Slice roll into 1 inch slices. Place on a greased pan. Bake 10 minutes at 400 degrees.

1/2 cup butter, softened
1 cup powdered sugar
1 oz. cream cheese
2 T. whipping cream
 1 tsp. vanilla extract
pinch of salt

Beat until fluffy. When rolls are hot, spread lots of icing on them.

Thanks to Kristen for sending me on a search for

Here's the song for your St Patrick's enjoyment:

Chrys' Joke

Here is a funny joke that has to do with the South and the law....for the enjoyment of my hubby and anyone else who cares.

And, look, how the Solomon's celebrate St. Patty's Day...How fun!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Oh the comfort of a man!

I found this picture a couple of weeks ago while organizing all of our digital family photos. I thought it was so darling. Kitty Bear is just teeny and LG looks 10 years younger. (Wow, I know that law school took forever but I just didn't realize just how long the law school phase of our lives has been!)

I just had to smile when looking at this photo because I think I have 3 other identical pictures, except for the other three photos are of LG and his other 3 babies: Abigail, Sophia, and Bella. To find those photos I would have to dig out the Tupperware, search, and scan; and because of the complications associated with retrieving medieval family photos, you will just have to trust me that these photos do actually exist.

Here is one previously scanned of LG and Abigail when she was not so baby, but nevertheless, it is still a cute picture.

So, I know my cute hubby, cat, or kids don't make for the most interesting post. (most of you have probably already quit reading)

Back to the original post, not that it will interest you that much more. Our friends just blessed our lives in the most magnificent way. They gave us their 3 month old mattress! If you could only see the old cheap mattress that we have been using for the past 8 years, you would know how much of a real blessing this nice new pillow top feels to us. And, if any of you have the heebie jeebies thinking about accepting someones used mattress, then you obviously have not been as poor as we are. (So, please be kind with the comments)

We figure if we are poor, we also should let our children have a little taste of the poverty. Abigail has been complaining about her mattress for months. We finally got her an egg crate on top of it this week. While testing our new and improved mattress, Abigail squeezed right in between LG and I. I took the opportunity to ask her about her new egg crate bed. Her reply was simple, "Oh, I love the egg crate, now, I can't feel the springs in my back!" Yes, we are equally pathetic around here! It's no wonder a friend took pity.

Anyhow, I really wished I could post the look on LG's face when he climbed into bed tonight: the look was that of pure elation! I have never seen him look more happy and comfortable at the same time. (A BIG THANKS to our anonymous bed givers!!!)

So, after we tried laying on the bed for a few minutes, we got the kids to bed. LG and I both headed to the bathroom for the nightly bed preparation. (brushing teeth, using the potty, taking the medicine) While LG was finishing up, I came out to check my e-mail and my blog. When LG appeared a little later, he inquired as to what I was doing. When I said oh so non-chalantly "oh, just checking my e-mail", (notice I left out the blogging, not that LG didn't read right through that) LG said, "O.k. I will wait up for you".

I was not the least bit surprised when approximately 5 minutes later (no joke, no longer than 5 minutes) I hear the sound of pure exultation coming from my husband's large frame....what is that noise exactly?, you ask....well, it's close to the sound of a bear in hibernation...just one BIG snore after another! And, yes, I can hear it on the opposite end of the house.

I hurried and closed out my google reader to climb into bed with LG. (I hoped LG would have lost track of time and fall for the just checking e-mail thing) I also hoped that when I crawled into bed with LG that he would want to take advantage of some alone time. (wink, wink, if you know what I mean) Wow, I really must have been hallucinating. I should have known better. The guy has never owned a comfortable mattress of his own.

It took only 2.2 minutes and a nightly prayer for me to realize that I would NOT be able to keep LG's interest tonight! The snoring immediately continued and provided all the answer I, here I am, blogging one very boring post.

The moral of the post: if you want to get some attention from your hubby, keep the old mattress...thanks again my anonymous friend, my love life is officially OVER!

But, oh, my hubby is SO comfortable, and now I have more time to blog. How can a woman complain?

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Fast on His Feet

This young guy was working in the produce section of the supermarket, and an older guy comes up: “Young man, I’d like to buy a half of a head of lettuce.” “Gee, sir, we don’t usually sell it that way. Let me ask my manager.”

He goes into the back room and yells, “Hey, Mr. Benwa, there’s some jerk out here who wants to buy a HALF A HEAD of lettuce.” He turns around, and there’s the customer right at his shoulder.

“… and this fine gentleman would like to buy the other half.”

After the satisfied customer leaves with his half a head of letuce, Mr. Benwa says, “That was some fast thinking, son. Where did you learn that? Where did you grow up?”

“Aw, ’tweren’t nuttin. I grew up in Moose Jaw. It’ s little town up in Canada. It’s not famous for anything except that everybody there is either a prostitute or a hockey player.”

Mr. Benwa glares at the kid: “I’ll have you know that my WIFE comes from Moose Jaw.” “Gee, that’s great! What team did she play on?”

Are you a snooper?

They just couldn't help themselves
Britney Spears' secrets were right at their fingertips.
Now, just like one of Donald Trump's apprentices, they are fired!
Don't you think that this is a little extreme?
Seriously, I could have very well been one of these hospital employees.
I hate to admit it, but if I worked at the LA hospital, I don't think I could resist.
I can't stand to be given the story, but not the whole story, do you know what I mean?

I know, I know, I am pathetic.
But, really, cut me a break. We are talking about mental health here.
I don't care about her babies, her parents, her agents, X-husbands, her money, bodyguards, fashion faux pas, or her lawyers.
I just want to know if the girl is bi-polar?
Maybe I should call some fired hospital staff and see what they found out.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Iraqui War

I recently posted about saving the world from the 2nd holocaust.

But, now I have read this article, and wonder if there could have been a better way to save more casualties?

I know war is complicated, but it is so easy for us to turn our eyes to it when the violence occurs across the world. (I am sure Renee will be happy to hear this from me)

I am proud of our soldiers and I do feel such an obligation for our country to try and liberate the world, but thinking about the tens of thousands of Iraqui's and their families living with debilitating's just so depressing. (This doesn't even include all the lost and injured American soldiers)

Sometimes, you just have to give it all back to God. I could seriously take myself into a deep depression if I ponder on the injustices of the world for too long.

And, as I am posting this, I am wondering if you are all mad at me now for depressing you too, instead of making you laugh! Sorry!

Europeans don't reproduce?

I found this link on Instapundit...I guess being a believer teaches you to have joy in your posterity. Oh, I already knew that!

Can moms succeed at blogging?

Yes, this used to describe my typical night before I started blogging...Now, you can just add blogging to the rest of the list!


Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed."

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches.. Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning. She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer. She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry.

She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the field trip, and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.

She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store.. She put both near her purse. Mom then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night solution & age fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her nails.

Dad called out, "I thought you were going to bed."

"I'm on my way," she said.

She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked and the patio light was on.

She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and TV's, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework. In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her 6 most important things to do list She said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals.

About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular. "I'm going to bed."

And he did...without another thought.

I agree 100%

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too much, impulse buying,and driving too fast.Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.

The California Lifestyle

Carson Daly says that he is just in better shape because he lives in California.

See, it's all about the sidewalks. No one in their right mind wants to ride bikes on the streets in Tennessee.

But, I guess you have to choose your he's got good health, but no love life.

Do you think that because I am a Californian who moved to TN there is a chance that I could have both....just as soon as we get sidewalks and a long do you think that will take?

Smart move Fortress Investment Group, LLC

Seriously, what kind of twisted buyer would want The Neverland Ranch?

You're never fully dressed without a smile.

Thank you to Chrys for sharing another bloggy award! She got the award from Alison, whose blog I am about to go and check out.
(When I first wrote that sentence it sounded like I was going to go and check Alison out...he he...that would really bring new meaning to my recent gender roles post)
I am not passing it on because I want to keep all the smiles to myself (I need them right now)and I have this thing about "tagging" people....does that make me bloggy snotty?

Obsolete Skills

My mother-in-law, Faye, and her friend, Jean, stopped by the house on Tuesday. I got my digital camera out to capture Jean's adorable grandson Whit. I was just shooting away when Jean asked me if I was using a digital camera. I assured her that I was, and because I was, I could snap away as generously as I desired.

Faye then started to tell us about her recent visit to her niece Becky's house. She had taken her old 35 mm camera and Becky's children were very disappointed that they couldn't see themselves in the camera immediately.

I got to thinking that we had that instantaneous luxury when I was a child, it was called Polaroid, and the 3 minutes we had to wait for picture development really did seem immediate back then.
So, on the radio this morning, they were talking about obsoleteskills. And then it occurred to me that even though we have upgraded to digital photography, we really aren't as advanced as we should be.

Here are some obsolete skills that still have their place at the Gold household:

1- Adjusting rabbit ears on top of a TV.
2- Operating an old-school 70's air popcorn popper.
3- Letter writing.
4- Rewinding.
5- Programming a VCR to record your favorite show.
6- Blowing the dust out of GameBoy cartridges.
7- Caulking the shower.
8- Grinding wheat.
9- Handwriting and spelling.
10- Using the Dewey Decimal to search for library books.
11- Making your own ice-cream.
12- Baking homemade bread.
13- Ripping the little holes off the sides of computer paper. (my motherinlaw gave the girls a huge box of the stuff to color on)
14- Using WiteOut.
15- Using fountain pens.
16- Mending and hemming your own clothes.
17 - Playing an instrument
18 - Getting off the couch to change channels on the TV (our remotes aren't the most reliable)
19 - Getting to know your neighbors.

Wow! I guess we aren't doing too bad when it comes to the counsel from our pioneer ancestors: "Fix it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without."

Here are some obsolete skills that we are glad we don't need:

1- Changing your own oil
2 - Repairing your own small appliances.
3 - Darning socks.
4 - Loading film in a 35 mm camera.
5- Looking for a job in the classifieds.
6- Making an operator assisted phone call.
7- Remembering passwords (this is a sore subject at our house ~ LG will not write his passwords down)
8- Using a punch card (oh yeah, we don't have to work for the man!)

And here are some that LG or I will gladly hold on to:

1 - Mastering the use of a joystick.
2 - Building your own computer using individual components.
3- Mowing your own lawn.
4- Growing your own vegetables.
5- Cheating at video games using a loader or binary patch.
6- Driving a manual transmission. (everyone needs to learn how to do this)
7- Knowing what part of town a person lives in by their phone exchange. (this is useful)
8- Lighting a kerosene lamp. (when camping of course)
9- Paying with cash (because this would mean that we actually have some)
10- Talking face to face (This one is not so much something LG may want to keep)
11- Tying a tie (oh how dignified)

WHAT are some skills that you are attached to, glad not to have, or need to hang on to?

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

They call him, Flipper, Flipper...

This article made me happy that I watched the old show, Flipper, with my girls today.

I absolutely loved this show as a kid. Abigail loved it too. Dolphins are the best.

FYI for Potter fans

It has been announced that there will be two movies to give us, the book readers, the whole end of the story from the last book! Yahoooooo!

I am very happy about this. I am the kind of Potter reader that doesn't remember the book's details long enough to be aware of what is missing when I get to the movie.

But, I will be glad to have one more movie to view!

The longer I have to watch Potter, the longer he will stay alive (and those of you that haven't read the last book will just have to wonder if I am talking about Potter dying in the series) Don't give it away commenters!

Long live Harry Potter in all of our hearts...oh, if we all could just write like JK Rowling!

A daughter's wedding

I was reading George W's thoughts about his daughter Jenna's upcoming wedding.

LG dreads the day the girls get married. I have always told him that he can just plan on me going overboard to make up for the simplicity of our wedding! (another post) I am just going to make this promise to LG now. I will try and elleviate the pressure that Pres Bush has experienced. I will try not to let you have one decision to make when the day comes that your daughters get fact, I will even make the decision of how much money to spend! Won't that be so nice of me? HA!

Let it Be

I was thoroughly entertained by AI's Top 12 last night. Here is a good article with all the scoop.

Brooke White sang a great reminder to me personally last night. The message she brought to my living room from The Beatles was "Let it Be". What a great reminder to me with some stuff I have been going through lately. I never recognized the spiritual message embedded in this song.

My other favorite, dredlock boy (I can never remember his name) did wonderfully last night also.

As for David Archuleta, I have to quote what I overheard a random Harley rider tell his friends over lunch at Applebee's today. "Man, my man forgot his words last night. I was so bummed. I couldn't believe it, he just choked. I hope he comes back strong next week."

Do you think that David Archuleta understands how much this whole country is rooting for him?I mean right here in Knoxville, TN, there was a table full of rough tough looking guys right next to a table of Mormon stay home moms who all consider him "our man"! C'mon David, we are all praying for you. And as for last night, my advice to David, "let it be".

Wow, that message is really universal....I am going to focus on letting things be this week.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Static Boy

Is he a superhero?

YOU can't sit there.

Seriously, can we not share our benches with the homeless? Who needs a place to sit more than someone homeless? I never thought I would say this, but I am sad that San Diegans could be so snotty.

Gender Roles

The gender roles: thank goodness they don't have to be black and white.

When we were newlyweds, (10.5 years ago!!) LG and I took a sociology for the family class together. Of course, LG humored me by taking the sociology class. Soft sciences aren't really his thing. (He had no idea at the time, that he married a girl whom would take him on a complex psychological journey) I forgot how fun that was to study together. We also took a health class together. (I had no idea at the time that we should have paid better attention to our health instruction)

Anyhow, I remember learning about gender roles in this sociology class and how their definitions are getting more and more intertwined. I was somewhat happy at the time feeling like it would be o.k. that I married a man who was more nurturing than me.
I also felt extremely validated because I had married a man who appreciated me for the strong willed girl that I am. I sometimes kid when I am trying to explain my differences from other women that I am a "manly girl". (not in a gay way) I just enjoy doing things on my own and not being that damsel in distress.

Last night as LG and I were discussing our friends' baby, LG said how impressed he was with our friend Dave's ability to be nurturing. I said to him, "I love it, you are the exact same way." and then I added, "I am not so nurturing, huh?" LG said, "You are with the babies." (I will take that in a complimentary sort of way and add the realization that I can do a better job with my big grown babies - including LG)

Even though LG and I are still constantly trying to work out our gender roles, I am still a firm believer that the women were meant to be the nurturers and the men the protectors. (What else explains the fact that he can't handle throw up and I couldn't "kill off" that injured bird outside) I love it when I find scientific things that support the teachings of the church.