Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Our House

has all kinds of personality.
And even a little bit of crafty stuff.

There are plenty of gifts
from Crafty Friends
Thanks Valerie.

Plenty of Children with Creativity

And there are always
mom's best attempts.

The love of a family

It's a good thing.

My Really Important Stuff

As you all know,
from the book
Really Important Stuff My Kids Taught Me.

I still have a lot of bits to go.
But, I keep coming up with my own.
So, I am going to intermingle.
Mine will just be called
Really Important Stuff.

You don't have to be afraid of spiders.
Just decide not to be afraid.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Guest Post - Chad (Facebook Etiquette)

I like making new friends.
In real life and on facebook.
A while back, something I had posted
caught the eye of a real-life friend's friend.

Her name was Daisy.
She will have to be a guest post another day.
She is buried in her book publisher's demands right now.
Daisy and I got into it, back and forth about an issue I call
"underachieving students in our public schools".

After Daisy proclaimed her loyalty and love
for kids who struggle in school,
and declared her position to single handedly
make a difference for all those she could reach,
I referred her to my post about my mom.
Years ago, my mom taught me about
that same kind of love

So, Daisy and I became forever after facebook friends. I call it FAFF.

Well, one day, whilst reading a post from Daisy on facebook
about making jam with some Mormon missionaries
(who she feeds and invites into her home regularly,
even though she is not a Mormon)
I got a good laugh at a comment.
The conversation had turned from the 30 jars of jam
to what it would take to eat it all.

Chad Deal wrote something like this:
"All the bread you are going to have to eat with that jam
will be enough to give a sperm whale a yeast infection."
And, with the click of the mouse,
I found myself laughing uncontrollably,

The next thing I know, Chad is my newest facebook friend.
I am pleased to offer him up
as my latest and greatest guest post.

Here is Chad's bio.
He wrote it himself.
I am so excited that I have a band director on my list of friends.
Abigail was just issued a french horn,
and I know absolutely nothing about it.

Chad Deal is a Music Educator in Georgia. He has directed High School Bands in Las Vegas, Atlanta, and Statesboro, GA. He is married to a wonderful woman (a saint, some say) and is the father of two little boys. He currently exists without his own web address, but only because www.supercrazyawesome.com is taken. His Facebook fan page was taken down after it made Brad Pitt look bad. Don't tell me there wasn't a conspiracy at work. If you would like to contact him, please find something more rewarding to do (he really is quite boring and full of himself), but if you must, please email chadadeal@me.com

Chad's contribution is called
Facebook Funny

I asked him to inform of us
his take on facebook no-no's.
It does not disappoint,
but does have a few
PG-13 references.
But this Mormon blogger
can put up with them
in honor of
making new friends
and celebrating differences.

I am often asked to be funny. Actually, I am nearly always required to be funny. My life as a dad, hubby, and teacher insists that I be funny in order to make the mundane tolerable. Another outlet for my humor is Facebook. This social phenomenon has given me a huge audience (which is good because my wife has grown weary of hearing my jokes over and over on the phone and Facebook allows me to be silently funny). The compensation scale won’t pay the light bill (electric/power bill if you live outside of the South) but it does make me feel great when something I write elicits a favorable reply, “Like” or even a “nice one, Chad”.

It was just such a comment that lead me to this blog posting. I am not a blogger. I enjoy blogs, and have considered writing one, but I am always distracted by things like playing in the backyard, playing in the living room, and once the kids are asleep, doing some playing in the bedroom. So my blogging is limited to Facebook status updates and replies to the updates of others. I enjoy seeking out seemingly normal, mundane updates and finding the humor (or creating it), but I must say that sifting through the endless blathering of some of my friends has lead me to create a system for pruning my friends list.

I will approve nearly every friend request I receive through Facebook. Notable exceptions are 1) current students and their parents, 2) obvious spammers (unless they are super hot models) and 3) anyone from France. Once approved, everyone gets an audition. I keep an eye on their status updates and if I like what I see, they get to keep their coveted spot in my friends list. However, should they fall into one (or more) of the following categories, they are quickly removed, which can decimate someone’s cool point cache.

Category 1- The ‘Villes:
If you are a hardcore participant in any game that ends in ‘ville (Farm, Fish, Drug Cartel, etc.) I think that is fine, but if 90% of your updates are related to that, or other games, you may need an intervention… or a sign that points outside. Don’t get me wrong, I understand addiction… I have an iPhone, but for goodness sake, stop taking pictures of your computer screen and posting it for all of your friends to ignore. Tell me something interesting, like what you had for lunch, or how long your last (or first) orgasm lasted. Pique my interest with something real, something tangible. Otherwise, you will be banished from Chad-Ville.

Category 2- Pundits:
The only thing more annoying than the ville’s is politics. I don’t care if you are a Democrat, a Republican, or an Idiot… I mean, Independent (sorry, Freudian slip). If you think that a single political party has all the answers then you are in for more disappointment than my first Prom date. I understand having a strong opinion about certain issues, we all do, at least, I hope we all do. But please, refrain from trying to assert your superiority within your friend circle by regurgitating the flame-filled ramblings from our current “news” channels. I could write a book about everything I hate about politics and news, but I digress. Save the Soap-boxery for something that really matters, like guaranteeing that reruns of Friends are shown in the order they were meant to be shown and with all of the lead in and lead out jokes intact. Where is my PAC for THAT???

Category 3- Sickies:
Being in pain is terrible. I feel bad for you, I really do. Having spent a period of my life in chronic pain (4 years living in Alabama), I totally get the need to seek compassion, but do we need to hear EVERY single complaint? “I have a headache” “Tummy is upset today...FML”.
FML (F**K My Life)??? REALLY??? For an upset tummy??? Please get some perspective. You can find it at Wal*Mart. Spend 15 minutes watching the endless train of poor decisions coupled to a substandard education and a caboose of Zero fashion sense and you will understand the true meaning of FML. Your aches and pains cannot possibly compare to the despair of these people (which would be 100 times worse if they actually knew what despair was). Save the complaining for your bartender. At least he is getting paid while he listens. Maybe I should start a game called Bar-Ville.

Category 4- Haters:
“I hate my job”, “I hate my Ex”,”I hate my neighbors”. Complaining is natural. We all hate something, and misery loves company. But I simply cannot commiserate with ALL of the hate that comes up in my news feed. Times are tough, and many people are stuck in a job that is unfulfilling, but one thing that I have learned in all my years of punching the time clock is this: Complaining only makes it worse. It forces you to focus exclusively on the most negative aspects of your job. Instead, find the best thing (even if it is quitting time) and keep that in your sights. You’ll be surprised how many more positive things there are when you look past the negatives. Same thing with an Ex-husband or Wife. Something drew you to that person originally. Instead of spending all of your energy hating the person they are, try to remember what you loved about them to start with (even if it was only the great sex. Reliving that in your mind once or twice might temper some of the hatred and allow you to move on). Hate the neighbors? Join the club. Kill ‘em with kindness… or poison, but stop the hate.

So, what next? Well, anyone that falls into one or (god forbid), more of the above categories is placed on a watch list. If the annoying behavior dominates the Wall, and subsequently, my news feed, then I block or delete. I need quality soil to grow the seeds of my humor. I get no inspiration from the ‘ville’s, pundits, sickies, or haters. I need quality material like mundane updates with poor grammar and/or misspellings. I adore people that mix up their attempts at descriptive language and my heart leaps every time someone misses obvious sarcasm. What can you do to make my experience better? Here are some tips:

• Accidentally slip up and reveal juicy details about your private life
• Take lots of pictures when you are out in public (preferably of people you don’t know) and post them.
• Occasionally post something on your Wall that was supposed to be a private message.

As I am not the only Facebook user out there, please feel free to comment with the thing(s) that drive you the most crazy about the Facebook experience. My next Guest Post (if I am invited back) will be about Twitter and why I think we find celebrities so fascinating (PREVIEW--WE DON’T).

Thanks for reading. Stay subscribed and try the veal.

My two cents - Category 5 - The Runners. These people love to post about how busy they are, so they somehow feel important because their declarations so obviously rat themselves out. They feel so insignificant. They also like to talk about how much THEY RUN. 5 miles, 6 miles, 18.5 pairs of shoes, 192 roadkill. Can't go to sleep until I finish up my sprints on my treadmill.

What annoying facebook categories can you guys come up with?
If you aren't on facebook, do you have categories for your blogging friends?

Friday, August 27, 2010

Book Review: Mockingjay

Mockingjay (Hunger Games, #3)Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

How would you like it if I started this review with "Well, they all survived." and then quickly added, "Oh, except the main character?" I am not saying that IS what happened at all. I wouldn't want to write a spoiling review so soon. But, that is what this book was like for me.

Have I ever told you that I am a tidbit emotionally unstable and that I get really really involved with these fictitious characters? I don't like it when authors mess with my stability. It really makes me mad when they get you all happy, only to turn the page and be disappointed or to turn the page repeatedly to a complete WHAM-O in my face. I don't like it all. The jumpy transitions were not only unnecessary but annoying.

Although, this was a chosen life-long favorite for me after reading the first two books, the third one left me re-thinking this declaration. In fact, it left me wanting to rewrite the whole finish. It almost felt rushed. It didn't have as much depth or feeling. There were emotional parts but it is almost as if the author stopped being IN the story when she was telling it...if that makes any sense.

I still enjoyed it and at least there was closure in the end (more than you can say for the first two books) but I just wish so many things were different. And I guess you can say that because I feel that way, Collins masterfully got her point across....humanity sucks. War is cruel. Most people are out for themselves. And, now you can see why this person who likes to see the good in people was thoroughly disappointed.

The plot wasn't as exciting as those found in Books 1 and 2. In fact, to me, the main plot may have just been as dull as "Nobody gets what they want. Everyone is just surviving the events of their life." This book almost took more of a political turn. Like true-life anti-war propaganda or something. Although, in a round about way, at the end, you were left to think that war was actually necessary and justified for a better society.

I don't feel the author gave the proper burial to minor characters. Heck, she didn't give a proper good-bye for major characters. It felt like a rush to the publish date book. I hate that. Why can't everything be as masterful as Harry Potter from start to finish?

View all my reviews

Love Hate Relationship

I won't tell you who constructed such a fine piece of artwork.
As they might have morning after regret.
But, I will tell you
that karma is a bummer.

And for all the times I said this exact thing to my mom
I want you to know
that I always knew you didn't hate me.

If helping you to learn to clean your room
so you can have
a nice home of your own someday
means I hate you,
then I hate you.

If disciplining you for
so that you will learn
that actions have consequences
means I hate you,
then I hate you.

If reading scriptures with you every day,
so that you will know
the love of God and Christ
means I hate you,
then I must hate you.

If sitting down with you to
do your homework
every day after school
so you won't be a procrastinator
means I hate you
then I hate you.

If telling you to hurry
because you are going to be late
for soccer again,
so that you will learn to be responsible
means I hate you,
then I hate you.

If asking you to remember
and wash your face every night
so you won't be scarred
by the effects of
adolescent acne
means I hate you,
then I hate you.

If taking your phone away
so that you can learn to
have a real conversation
means I hate you,
then I hate you.

If requiring you to wear
modest clothes
so that you will
have self-respect
means I hate you,
then I hate you.

If limiting your TV time
so that you won't
turn into a couch potato
means I hate you,
then I hate you.

If asking you to help
with household chores
so that you will learn
to be a contributing member of society
means I hate you
then I hate you.

go back,
and read
every one
of these stanzas
over again.
And where they say,
"means I hate you
then I hate you"
please replace with
"means I love you,
then I love you."

And then add this last one.

If laughing
when you make a sign like this
so that you will
learn not to take
yourself too serious
means I love you,
then you must know
that I really love you.
Because I am still laughing.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Jesus, Take the Wheel.

Now I know
got her inspiration.

But, seriously,
the song has a true message,
and I guess the
church sign
does too.

We have to surrender our will.
And, yes, that was said
very Southernly,
so it almost sounded like
We have to surrender our wheel.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010


In my church we have modern day scripture called
The Book of Mormon is compilation
of Native American prophets.
The climax of the book is when Christ
appears to the Native American people.
of this written sacred event.
You can read about it here.

One reason, many Christian religions
say that Mormons are not Christian
is because of this Book of Mormon.
It pains me
because The Book of Mormon
brings me closer to Christ.
It helps me learn of Him.

One of my favorite verses from
The Book of Mormon
2 Nephi 25:26.
The words of Nephi, the prophet, are this:
"And we talk of Christ,
we rejoice in Christ,
we preach of Christ,
we prophesy of Christ,
and we write according to our prophecies,
that our children may know
to what source
they may look for a remission of their sins."

Another of my favorite verses is
Ether 12:27

"And if men come unto me
I will show unto them their weakness
I give unto men weakness
that they may be humble;
and my grace is sufficient
for all men
that humble themselves before me;
for if they humble themselves before me,
and have faith in me,
then will I make weak things
become strong unto them."

How powerful is that?

It's a beautiful promise
that soothes the soul
of this imperfect woman.

And I am not the only one
who has felt the power
of this verse.

I can't wait to show this video to my family tonight.

If this embedded video is not working

Tuesday, August 24, 2010


Who is your hero?

It's a simple question that when answered tells a lot about a person.

I have lots of heroes.

Jesus Christ.
Parents of special needs' kids.
Teachers who love what they do.
Servicemen and women and their families.

Anyone who stands for what is right, even if they do it alone.

A friend of ours, Derek Hinckley, has a song called My Hero.
It talks about heroic Christlike qualities and the love for a parent.
Every mom and dad should be a hero.
If any of you know happen to know Kenny Chesney personally,
or his agent, or someone who knows his agent,
maybe you could turn him on to this page on facebook:
It's an amazing song.
Its video was chosen my Sean Hannity to be a finalist.

For now, here's a Kenny Chesney video that I just enjoyed immensely.
I want to drag LG out to a High School football game
and see if I can get "that feeling" back.
I couldn't help but think of my brother Erick
while watching.
He loves the game of football.
And gets to hold on to THAT FEELING
while coaching in Rexburg, ID.
Here's a link to Kenny's song
The video makes the song even better.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me #18

Once your mother finds your broken glasses,
you can't keep saying they're not broken.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

The Big Blue AA Book

Alcoholics Anonymous - Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous - Big Book by Alcoholics Anonymous

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

WOW! This is going to be a hard review to write.

When I told my husband that I planned to review this book, he laughed.

"Isn't that like saying I'm going to review The Holy Bible?"

"Why, yes, yes it is."

In fact, this book is much like The Holy Bible.

Like my daughter's 6th grade math teacher has his students create A Math Bible with math notes in a composition book, this is a Bible that was written by Alcoholics. It's not a Bible for math, but for finding peace and serenity.

Funny, the alcoholics familiar with AA, affectionately call this book "The Blue Bible" or "The Big Blue Book".

This book is jam-packed with wisdom. JAM PACKED! It starts with bits of wisdom from the founders of AA with their reveal of the 12 steps and how to work the AA program. But, the bits of wisdom I enjoyed best were the bits I gleaned from all the personal stories. I was left feeling totally enlightened. The honesty of the storytellers was a breathe of fresh air. They gave me a greater understanding and love for alcoholics and all addicts. They somehow helped me have a respect for alcoholics, especially a respect for the ones brave enough to break free. Most of all, I, now, after finishing the book, have a greater appreciation for human life, and the fragility of the human. It is so vital that we as humans help each other to learn how to affectively deal with our issues.

And, in one sentence, that is how I would describe AA and it's mighty Bible: It's a place where people go to help each other learn and deal with issues. Because all people have issues and lots of people don't know how to deal with them. Unfortunately, instead of learning how to get happy, people give themselves permission to live drunk, which isn't living at all.

If you think that you could live a happier life, read this book, I promise it will leave you with a greater understanding of yourself and what you need to do to resolve your issues and to have self-respect, serenity, peace, happiness, and joy. I personally feel much more humble yet powerful, peaceful yet productive, happy yet thoughtful and most of all in touch with myself and who I am, who God wants me to be, and how He is going to help me get there.

I decided shortly into the book that in my review, I would just share the bits that I loved. Writing a review is like writing a review of The Holy Bible. You can't communicate the power by stating your opinion. You can share the verses and hope the reader will feel its power. So, here are the words (verses) that communicated to me in the order I read them:

p. 100 ALCOHOLICS ARE SICK AND SHOULD BE HANDLED WITH CARE "When working with a man and his family, you should take care not to participate in their quarrels. You may spoil your chance of being helpful if you do. But urge upon a man's family that he has been a very sick person and should be treated accordingly. You should warn against arousing resentment or jealously. You should point out that his defect of character are not going to disappear over night. Show them that he has entered upon a period of growth. Ask them to remember, when they are impatient, the blessed fact of his sobriety."

p. 178 EVERYONE NEEDS SUPPORTIVE FAMILY MEMBERS "My wife became deeply interested and it was her interest that sustained mine, though I at no time sensed that it might be an answer to my liquor problem. How my wife kept her faith and courage during all those years, I'll never know, but she did. If she had not, I know I would have been dead a long time ago. For some reason, we alcoholics seem to have the gift of picking out the world's finest women. Why they should be subjected to the tortures we inflict upon them, I cannot explain."

p. 180 HERE IS THE POWER OF AA - GLEANING KNOWLEDGE FROM THOSE WHO HAVE WALKED IN OUR MOCCASINS BEFORE US "Of far more importance was the fact that he was the first living human with whom I had ever talked, who knew what he was talking about in regard to alcoholism from actual experience. In other words, he talked my language."

p. 197 DON'T AVOID & PROCRASTINATE - IT BUILDS UP AND MAKES YOU WANNA GET DRUNK "About this period, too, came increasing procrastination and the avoidance of responsibilities. I would put off doing anything that I could until the next day, and consequently, everything would pile up and then there would be this blackout."

p. 214 ADMIT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM AND USE THE FAITH YOU HAVE TO HELP YOURSELF "The thought simply never occurred to me that through the exercise of what I had I might find the answer to my problem, simply because I wouldn't admit that I had a problem."

p. 226 STAY IN TOUCH WITH THIS GLORIOUS WORLD AND FIND YOUR PLACE IN IT INSTEAD OF HIDING " I wanted help, and I tried to cooperate. As the treatment progressed I began to get a picture of myself, of the temperament that had caused me so much trouble. I had been hypersensitive, shy, idealistic. My inability to accept the harsh realities of life had resulted in a disillusioned cynic, clothed in a protective armor against the world's misunderstanding. That armor had turned into prison walls, locking me in loneliness - and fear. All I had left was an iron determination to live my own life in spite of alien world - and here I was an inwardly frightened, outwardly defiant woman, who desperately need a prop to keep going. Alcohol was that prop and I didn't see how I could live without it."

p.228 GOD SPEAKS TO US "Then the miracle happened - to me! It isn't always so sudden with everyone, but I ran into a personal crisis which filled me with a raging and righteous anger. And as I fumed helplessly and planned to get good and drunk and show them, my eye caught a sentence in the book lying upon my bed: 'We cannot live with anger.' The walls crumpled - and the light streamed in. I wasn't trapped. I wasn't helpless. I was free, and I didn't have to drink to 'show them'. This wasn't religion - this was freedom! Freedom from anger and fear, freedom to know happiness and love."

p. 275 FIGHT THE FEAR "For eighteen years, from the age of twenty-one to thirty-nine, fear governed my life. By the time I was thirty I had found that alcohol dissolved fear. For a little while. In the end I had two problems instead of one: Fear and alcohol."

p. 279 ANSWERS ARE WAITING TO BE FOUND - YOU JUST HAVE TO ASK - PERHAPS MY FAVORITE PAGE OF THE WHOLE BOOK "I could no longer relieve the pressure of fear by starting home, as was once my habitual solution to the problem, because I no longer had a home. Finally, and I shall never know how much later it was, one clear thought came to me: Try prayer. You can't lose, and maybe God will help you - just maybe, mind you. Having no one else to turn to, I was willing to give Him a chance, although with considerable doubt. I got down on my knees for the first time in thirty years. The prayer I said was simple. It went something like this: 'God, for eighteen years I have been unable to handle this problem. Please let me turn it over to you.' Immediately a great feeling of peace descended upon me, intermingled with a feeling of being suffused with a quiet strength. I lay down and slept like a child. An hour later I awoke to a new world. Nothing had changed and yet everything had changed. The scales had dropped from my eyes and I could see life in its proper perspective. I had tried to be the center of my own little world, whereas God was the center of a vast universe of which I was perhaps an essential, but a very tiny, part. I have never had a drink since."

p. 320 BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF AND LIVE FOR NOW "Once I did have a slip - tried drinking again - but the AA's tell me not to worry about yesterday, because nobody can change it, and not to worry about tomorrow because it hasn't come yet. Live twenty-four hours at a time, they say. And it works. I'm sober for today. Like I said, I'm a twenty-four-yea-old alcoholic and I'm happy."

p. 325 HEALING CAN HAPPEN FOR INDIVIDUALS AND FAMILIES "WE have only been in A.A. a few years, but now we're trying to make up for lost time. Twenty-seven years of confusion is what my early married life was. Now, the picture has changed completely. We have faith in each other, trust in each other, and understanding. A.A. has given us that. It has taught me so many things. It has changed my thinking entirely, about everything I do. I can't afford resentments against anyone, because they are the build-up of another drunk. I must live and let live. And "Think" - that one important word means so much to me. My life was always act and react. I never stopped to think. I just didn't give a whoop about myself or anyone else.

p, 352 POWER COMES FROM GOD AND FROM OTHERS WHO ARE RECEIVING HELP FROM GOD "What is this power that A.A. possessed?? This curative power? I don't know what it is. I suppose the doctor might say, "This is psychosomatic medicine." I suppose the psychiatrist might say, "This is benevolent interpersonal relations." I suppose others would say, "This is group psychotherapy." To me it is God.

p. 418 HEALING IS UP TO YOUR HONESTY WITH YOURSELF "No one could have told me then that I had not earned all my success, nor could anyone have told me that I was an alcoholic and a drug addict. The only thing that bothered me was a queasy feeling I had in the pit of my stomach. It hinted to me that everything was phony. I had accomplished all the right things that our society expected, and I had no real peace of mind nor gratitude. I was nothing more than a spoiled, indulged, and talented brat."

p. 504 GOD WILL GRANT YOU PEACE IF YOU SURRENDER "I get out of bed and go to the man's room. He is reading, 'I must ask you a question,' I say to the man. 'How does prayer fit into this thing.' 'Well," he answers, 'you've probably tried praying like I have. When you've been in a jam you've said, 'God, please do this or that,' and if it turned out to be your way that was the last of it, and if it didn't you've said 'THere isn't any God' or 'He doesn't do anything for me'. Is that right?' 'Yes,' I reply. 'That isn't the way,' he continued. 'The thing I do is say 'God here I am and here are my troubles. I've made a mess of things and can't do anything about it. You take me, and all my troubles, and do anything you want with me.' 'Does that answer your question?' "

p. 542 LOVE IS EVERYTHING " For me, A.A. is a synthesis of all the philosophy I've ever read, all the positive, good philosophy, all of it based on love. I have seen that there is only one law, the law of love, and there are only two sins; the first is to interfere with the growth of another human being, and the second is to interfere with one's own growth."

p. 544 GET TO THE ROOT "The mental twists that led up to my drinking began many years before I ever took a drink for I am one of those whose history proves conclusively that my drinking was a 'symptom of a deeper trouble.' Through my efforts to get down to 'causes and conditions,' I stand convinced that my emotional illness has been present from my earliest recollection. I never did react normally to any emotional situation.

p. 547 DON'T RUN FROM YOUR FEARS OR RATIONALIZE THEM AWAY " I wasn't afraid of anything or anybody after I learned about drinking, for it seemed right from the beginning that with liquor I could always retire to my little private world where nobody could get at me to hurt me.....I was immersed in self-pity and resentment...It became more and more necessary to escape from myself, for my remorse and shame and humiliation when I was sober were almost unbearable. The only way existence was possible was through rationalizing every sober moment and drinking myself into oblivion as often as I could.

p.552 BLESS THOSE THAT CURSE YOU - IT WILL GIVE YOU PEACE "'IF you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and you will be free. Even when you don't really want if for them, and you prayers are only words that you don't mean, go ahead and do it anyways. Do it every day for two weeks and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred you now feel compassionate understanding and love.' 'The only real freedom a human being ever know is doing what you ought to do because you want to do it.' "

p. 560 REALITY IS AWESOME WHEN YOU'VE FOUND AND WORKED FOR PEACE "Above all, we reject fantasizing and accept reality. The more I drank, the more I fantasized everything. I imagined getting even for hurt and rejections. In my mind's eye, I played and replayed scenes in which I was plucked magically from the bar where I Stood nursing a drink, and was instantly exalted to some position of power and prestige. I lived in a dream world. A.A. led me gently from this fantasizing to embrace reality with open arms. And I found it beautiful! For, at last, I was at peace with myself. And with others. And with God."

View all my reviews »

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Guest Post - Donna (Birthing Story)

I have decided to implement two new features on the blog.
The first is Just Ask Alice.
You will hear more about this one later.
But, somebody told me that I should write an advice column.
And I am going to start taking questions.
How fun is that?

About as fun as this picture of the beautiful Jada.

The second new implement is the Guest Post.
My friend Donna was kind enough to be my first.
Jada is Donna's beautiful daughter.
Thanks Donna.
You always got my back.

Donna is the first because she is
the most hilarious person I know.
We once talked about starting our own blog together.
We were going to name it
"Raising @#!*% at the Rose Home."
That's because we were
the life of the party at
our Bishop's house
a couple of years ago.

We are so inappropriate.
And funny.
And fun.
We are most definitely
not your typical Mormon wives.
God bless our husbands.

I love reading about people.
I love hearing their stories.
So, Donna was kind enough
to write part of her life story.
I asked her to share a funny one.

I found it very odd that she chose a birthing story.
Because she is the most adamant supporter
of women getting lives.
And not wasting girls night out with
birth stories,
diaper changing horrors,
cleaning tips,
scrapbooking display,
shoe collection comparison.
(We all know that she would win anyway)

Donna and I
are kindred spirits.
In conversation,
we go straight for the kill
with topics like
except-able behavior.
(like so many Knoxvillians lack)

I miss Donna.
She moved to New York.
She has a great blog,
with lots of recipes.
I don't think she could ever recover
when her dog Charlie died.
She had to get out of state.

The Parvo is bad.
We loved Charlie.
I am glad I got some pictures of him.

My only regret with Donna's guest post,
is that you can't hear her tell you the story in person.
I have her voice imprinted in my eardrum.
It's saying things like:
For sure. No doubt. Charlie!!! No not Charlie!!!

Well, here is Donna's story.
It's about when her son Miles was born.
And the picture to go with it.
This picture is so much better to look at
after reading the story.

Donna told me to make sure to tell you
the parts she originally forgot:
Don't forget to add the fact that I had to share a room with a Dominican who had a party everyday till visiting hours were over, AND a bunch of Indians ( like from India) had 5 generations in there room across the hall. Oy!

Miles to go before I push.
I always had nightmares about giving birth in public
since we've moved to NYC.
I was especially nervous because
I didn't know what real contractions
or natural labor felt like since I got induced with Jada.
I've had contractions off and on
but they were those Braxton Hicks,
and to be honest
sometimes I couldn't tell if
it was contractions or gas.....ANYWAY.

Monday at like 5 in the morning
I starting getting cramps,
but they weren't that intense,
but they came every so often
with intese pressure on my bottom.

I called my mom and she was like yep those are for real.
I had 4 within the hour,
but she said it was too early to go to the hospital.
Seth was going to leave for work,
and I told him I would just call him when they got closer.

I head in the shower,
and when I got out
the contractions were 10 mins apart,
then 5.
This happened all within a span of 10 mins.
I tried to get dressed,
and call him on the phone
but I couldn't talk
so I just screamed
when he answered the phone.

The landlord came up and was freaking out.
She kept telling me to breathe,
and helped me get dressed
and offered to take me to the hospital.

Seth races home and Niki
(the landlord)
helps me get downstairs.
I tried so hard not to scream and cry
when I had contractions
because I didn't want to wake everyone up.
It was like 6:45 in the morning.
I couldn't help it
and was screaming down the stairs.
(later Niki told me her daughter
who is getting married soon
doesn't want to have kids now
becuase of my primal screams)

We get to the hospital
and its like a scene out of a movie.
I get a wheelchair and they rush me up to L&D
meanwhile I am hollering due to the contractions
and the workers in the hall are like
"go mama go"
"Breathe mama breathe".
We get up to L&D
and they are asking me all these dumb questions
that they should know already since I pre-registered.

THEN the guy has the nerve to tell me
to go sit and wait in the waiting room.
I'm like hello I can't sit or walk,
and I'm screaming every 3 mins.
So I'm clinging to the wall trying to walk,
in the meantime wondering what the H is going on
and why I'm not in a gown.

My only concern is I need an epidural,
I need something,
because the pain is sooo intense.
I guess my screams got intense for them
so they finally put me in a room.

The nurse kept telling me to breathe and stop screaming,
I'm like easy for you to say.
I went in at 730ish am and I was at a 4.

I kept asking everyone in the room
when I was going to get an epidural .
They were like we have to do your blood work first,
and blah blah blah.

THEN it was the anesthesiologist
was doing a C section
so I'd have to wait.

In the mean time I was thinking
"please God just let me die now."
I asked again,
and the anastesiologist was still tied up with people.
Pain more intense,
screaming more despreate.
You know when you are in so much pain
and you just can't get comfortable?
Meanwhile Seth keeps rubbing my leg and back,
and I'm yelling if you touch me again!....
Finally he was like you taught yoga
you know how to breathe,
my response was some choice words after that.

My water broke on its own
and I start screaming
they need to come now I think I have to push.

They come and check me and I'm at a 10
within 45 mins of getting there.
The nurse is like congratulations you are ready to deliver.
My heart races and my face goes dead.
"What about an epidural?"
She tells me I don't need one I just need to push.

I get panicky wondering if I will survive the ordeal.
I'm thinking can you get me something?
A beer?
Something to club myself over the head with?
The Doctor waltzes in a
nd tells me to push where his finger is.
I go and try to grab is hand out of there.
I feel like I have to go to the bathroom,
and they say push.

I feel the worst pressure ever
and the primal, jungle, call of the wild,
blood curdling roar comes out of me.
My only motivation is a long a
s I get the head out the rest is cake.
3 pushes later Miles slides into home base.

I sigh the biggest sigh of relief and exclaim
that was the worst pain I have ever felt in my life!

While I'm getting stitched up I thank God
that I survived that whole ordeal and that it went quick.

Natural labor is a beast,
but you feel like you can take on the world
after going through that pain.

Seriously it feels like someone shot you
with a gun in the genitals.
Anyway thats my story and I'm stickin to it.

P.S. So sorry Donna, I have come back and blocked commenting from this post.
You will be so proud. I received over 400 comments on this post advertising porn.
I guess there are a lot of sick people out there who would have liked to watch you give birth.