My Really Important Stuff

If you are feeling trapped

at the dog park,

look for a gate.

Book Review: Defensive Tactics

Defensive Tactics by Steve Westover

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

You can buy the book for yourself HERE.

Lately in my life I have been learning about boundaries. How to set healthy ones because I am bad at it. Who knew I could read a work of fiction to help me figure out this concept of boundaries? I guess I've always known that fiction crosses over, but it's always completely awe- inspiring when a work of fiction can help me with decisions I must make in my own life.

I thought that this book was just going to be another action thriller about a couple of FBI agents, but it was so much more than that. It was a perfect example of what good boundaries can do for a person who desperately needs them. It was also a great lesson that boundaries alone are not enough; an adult, just like a child, has to have unconditional love to flourish.

The three main characters, Jimmy, Paul, and Emily were all AWESOME in their own way. I loved each of them and could relate to each of them, even though they were all completely different. Jimmy was a bright and amazing guy who was in a troubled time of life. He was floundering for good reason. I am against writing spoilers, but if what happened to him, happened to me, I don't know if I could get out of bed ever again. Paul was the perfectionist in me. He aimed to please and was a good rule keeper, but he was deep down completely insecure. Emily was every woman that we want to have depicted in a novel, smart, feminine, kind, gutsy, and more than anything, confident.

These three characters made a dynamic tale of love and friendship. My hat goes off to the author, Steve Westover, for his wonderful character development. Although the plot in the story was a bit predictable, I still really enjoyed the quick read.

Back to the boundaries. Jimmy was able to completely change his life around and tap into his under-appreciated strengths for two reasons: Paul's healthy boundaries and un-apologetic expectations combined with Emily's infinite and unconditional love.

This book was so much more than a private investigator story of mystery and action, it was a perfect love story. A love triangle that left everyone happy. Including this reader.

My hat is off to Steve Westover for his successful first novel.

View all my reviews

For inquiring minds or the FTC - I was given, for free, a copy of this book to review. But, to the best of my ability, I did not let this fact effect my honest evaluation and review. Even when my copy had the author's autograph. :)

Go here to see what the author of Defensive Tactics thought of my review. I loved what he had to say.

For the Techno Savvy Worshipers

The Captain of the Bee One Four

We have a friend whom we love and honor.

And respect immensely.

I was so relieved when he came home safe from

his stint in The War on Terror.

His name is Joe Hinson.

And he is the Captain of the Bee One Four.

And his son, who made this video, has a remarkable sense of humor.

As do all the Hinsons.

What can I say?

We funnies are attracted to each other.

I would have loved to be at Joe's rank advancement ceremony

and watched the faces of his fellow servicemen

watching this video.

It's awesome.

Purely awesome.

And funnier

if you know beforehand

that Joe is a good good guy.

He doesn't swear.

Hardly ever.

Probably never.

Search Engine

I thought this particularly funny after this recent post.

Yes, we are google fans.

Even if it only satisfies all of our online searches.

Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me #20

Every time you pass him

pat the dog.

Constitutional Rights

I will not even claim to be an expert on the topic.

LeGrand came home from law school one day

saying that he could study the U.S. Constitution the rest of his life

and still not be an expert.

I base everything off of my own experience.

And if LeGrand could study something

for his whole life

and still not be an expert,

I know that thing is complicated.

So,

because of my own experience,

I know how inspired our Constitution is.

Because LeGrand is uber smart.

I just read this speech

by Dallin H. Oaks.

He was a professor at the University of Chicago,

a Supreme Court Justice in Utah,

and is now an Apostle of the Lord.

How amazing it would be

to be that wise.

I'm not.

Never will be,

at least not in this lifetime.

I, however, am good with people.

I love people.

I love their stories.

The other day

as I was checking out at the grocery store,

I hit it off with our bagger.

She had an accent.

Through my great interrogation skills,

I found out she was originally from
The Soviet Union.

She has been in the States for 6 years.

She was adopted from an orphanage at 10 years old.

This hit home

because for some reason,

I only had Abigail with me.

Abigail is 11,

and she was very interested

in this girl,

when I pointed out

that she was Abigail's age

when arriving in America.

And her English was awesome.

I asked her if she missed her home country.

She quickly said, "No."

I questioned further with, "why?"

She said one word:

freedom.

She knew what she was talking about.

She said,

"over there I was stuck in an orphanage."

"Here I have a family,

a good job,

a good life.

I live a dream life."

What more do you need

to know that our Constitution

was divinely inspired?

And

that

freedom

still

rings.

Even

if

it

doesn't

seem

to

ring

as

loud.

Sunday homework

I believe I already wrote about our frustrations

with the amount of homework Abigail has in 6th grade.

But the frustrations have been so monumental

that I can't write about it enough.

I am having a parent/teacher conference

with all of her core teachers about it on Tuesday.

I sent them an e-mail last week

out of utter frustration.

LeGrand laughed on Thursday,

when for the second day in a row

Abigail came home with no homework,

except for the 4 major projects that had already been assigned.

LeGrand said,

"Do you think that this change is a result of your e-mail, Alice?"
The change had been drastic.

Abigail has been doing homework every waking hour

since school started.

My reply with a wink:

"I absolutely think it is because of my e-mail.

Why would you think any different?

You know that

I have influential writing skills."

We laughed.

Well, here is a church sign that I captured this past week.

I am posting it in honor of the homework

we will be supervising with Abigail all evening.

Supervising meaning

she will have to do the work,

but we will have to make sure she stays focused

and gets it done.

I am kicking myself for living the hell

we call Sunday night homework.

I remember how my parents

used to always beg us to get our homework

done on Friday or Saturday.

But really, I don't have the heart to

make her do it on Friday night,

when she is completely wasted mentally.

And Saturdays are busy!

Sunday just seems easier,

as all we really have scheduled is

a three hour block of church.

Tonight's big assignment is a current event project.

I can't wait.

When I saw this church sign,

I couldn't help but think about

this post on a blog that I have been frequenting.

The Knoxvillian author of mamapundit

just lost her son to a drug overdose.

I am appalled at what people say to her.

It has some serious religious fervor going on.

It gives you a taste of

living in the Bible belt.

Of course, I put in my two cents.

Well, I believe I will copy and past my e-mail,

(to the teachers, not to mamapundit)

in case any of you ever need

some influential writing.

What is your opinion about the homework thing?

Dear Ms. Parker and 6A Team Teachers,

Abigail Gold is my daughter. And as I know none of you well, I want to preface this e-mail with the fact that I am not one of "those parents". I will absolutely do everything in my power to support you all in your goals as I will for my child. I know we all have her best interest at heart. Abigail has always been a straight A student and has never had any problems completing assigned homework. I am worried that her Honors classes may be too much for her to handle at such a young age. If we were to take her out of honors, would there be a considerable difference in the amount of homework?

My husband and I are both very dedicated to helping Abigail succeed with her education. We are very concerned because Abigail has had an abundance of homework. We are worried on two accounts. One, is all this homework really necessary? And two, does our child need an A.D.D. assessment? She is having a terrible time concentrating on her homework. I am not sure if it can really be considered Attention Deficit Disorder or if she is just sick and tired of studying all day every day. She understands the material and so I hate to take her out of Honors, but I am worried about her emotional well-being. She doesn't have a minute to relax anymore...not a minute...until Friday night. This past weekend, we did homework for eight hours on Sunday, where we repeatedly corral her back to her desk to focus. I have thought that our 3 other children were a lot of the distraction issues for Abigail, but on Sunday our other children were at their Grandma's.

Tonight we did math for 2 hours, social studies for a 1/2 hour, and language arts for 15 minutes. This doesn't even touch the 1/2 hour reading she is supposed to do for her Reading class. She also has 4 ongoing larger projects that she has only barely started. Today, she came home from school, did homework until she ran out the door to her soccer game and then came home and ate dinner while working on the rest of her homework until 10 p.m. This has been typical since school has started. Even on the nights she doesn't have soccer or church, she is still doing homework from the time she comes in the door until she goes to bed.

I understand that Knox County has raised the bar, but is homework the answer for these kids? As adults, we don't want to work all day every day, and I especially don't think it's fair to expect that of an 11 year old child. I don't think it's healthy. I also don't know if this is just an Honors thing, but if it is, is it really fair to approach honors by giving the excelled students more work than they can handle healthfully? Our whole family has been negatively effected by the amount of attention is required for Abigail's homework.

Trust me, I am all for teaching my child good work habits. (Let's not even talk about the chores she never has time for anymore) Abigail has high goals for college and talks of Ivy League schools, and I understand that she needs to learn good study habits, especially if this is her future goal, but I am sending this e-mail with grave concern for my daughter. I hope you can all shed some light for me. I know all the other parents have said that their kids have a ton of homework too, but I think we may need some medical attention for Abigail. I have been told that the schools conduct assessments when a parent expresses concern, and I wonder if this is true? I know you all are much more experienced with middle school and with a variety of students and I am novice with my oldest child just starting 6th, and so I would greatly appreciate your thoughts.

Thrifty

I have always loved this old pioneer motto:

Fix it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.

Who knew that life would take me on paths

where I got to master the skill of thrift?

I thought that once law school was over,

life would be peaches.

Boy, was I wrong.

I'm not complaining though.

Really thrifty is my newest resume builder.

It makes me a better wife and mother.

I am grateful to God for the trials that teach me.

I wouldn't have learned without them.

Here are three examples of ways I have learned thrift.

I plan to post some from time to time.

I hope you will enjoy.

I am not one to throw handicraft out as a way of bragging.

I can't stand braggy.

I just thought that you may get some ideas of your own

on how to be more thrifty,

and we can all use ideas like that

in today's economy.

1. Make your own gifts.

(this is so much cuter on my wall

I couldn't get the picture of the picture to work well,

but trust me when I say that LeGrand

loved this for Father's Day

almost as much as the Beef Jerky.)

2. Recreate your curtains.

(My old plan panels have a new look

And the material only cost me $5 on clearance at Wal-Mart)

3. Create, create, create.

(Here is my refinished dresser

It started out dark and ugly

I bought the dresser for $35 at the thrift store,

paid about $15 for paint and new hardware.

Wha-la - A new baby dresser / changing table

I wouldn't be as in love with it

if I had bought it at Pottery Barn.)