My kind of Craft Project and Chore Chart

I am NOT crafty.

That is not a confession,

like the kind you have to hide in a closet,

but a declaration of this is part of who I am.

More power to those of you who are crafty and take joy in it.

I would rather buy your stuff than attempt it myself.

Because I am a shopper.

Shopping is a talent I like to spend my time working at.

I'ts also something that I have learned how to curb.

You see, God made everyone different.

It's o.k. that I am not crafty.

It's o.k. that I don't want to spend my time

trying to be like most of the other moms I know.

It's o.k. that I would rather spend my time

reading and writing and bargain shopping.

It's o.k. that I don't care if my girls hair is perfection.

And that I don't even like those horrible

crazy HUGE bows on the modern babies' heads.

It's o.k. that my house is simple.

That I don't need a showroom

for my friends.

It's o.k. It's o.k. It's o.k.

I recently came across a friend's cool craft project.

It involves a T-shirt and a can of spray paint.

It's my kind of project.

I am going to try it.

But, I will probably never post a picture of it.

Because that's just not who I am.

I would rather blog about my

thoughts, opinions, ideas, and funny stories.

Go over and check out how to do it at Jennifer's blog.

I'm sew in heaven.

She's most definitely a crafty.

In fact her mom tried to teach me how to sew once.

It was a disaster.

The only way my ugly skirt got done

was because my sister took pity on my

and finished it after she got done with hers.

We were 14 and 16,

and she was and still is a million times craftier.

And to add to that

Here is an example of the simplicity I prefer.

It's our chore chart.

I will show you how to make your own

if you are craft challenged.

Like me.

This system made it through the whole summer,

and is still in full swing

into the first week of school.

I'm very proud.

Not of its gorgeous display,

or the effective system,

but I am proud of the fact

that I pulled out

the electrical tape,

crayons,

scissors,

paper,

contact paper,

and magnets,

and my kids made it for me.

The kids were crossing their weekly jobs out

with a dry erase marker

as they get them done.

Now, we just know when they've got them done.

The sooner the better.

Each of the girls were assigned a row.

Oldest to youngest.

And there is even a spot for Caroline.

Because we are putting her to work

as soon as possible.

Trust me,

the older girls

can't wait to pawn stuff off on her.

And they each have three columns.

One for everyday jobs.

And a column of weekly jobs.

Because Excel spreadsheets,

I can reinvent.

We rotate the dailies on a weekly basis.

And they get to choose their own weeklies.

First come, first serve.

They love the grab.

And the competition.

We've initiated the concept

in family scripture study too.

Scripture chase:

Old Testament.

Go.

Proverbs 3:5-6

They are memorizing the

scripture songs

so they can get faster.

Watch out seminary kids.

The Gold Girls are in the house.

The last column is completely unrelated.

They are not rewarded any longer for chores.

They are expected to comply.

They don't get allowance.

But, they do get warm fuzzies

for good behavior.

Kind of like

dad gets warm fuzzies from mama

for bringing home the bacon.

The black circles are worth 1 warm fuzzy.

The yellow are worth 2 and a treat at the store.

The red are worth 3 and a rented Redbox.

The blues are the biggest hit.

They are worth 10 and a date with mom, dad, or a friend.

The green are worth 20 or $5.

They haven't learned to save up yet.

They like instant gratification.

In the form of candy and movies.

Lucky for dad.

The term warm fuzzy was coined

by my first grade teacher.

And you will hear me use it as a threat often.

"Go take two warm fuzzies for hitting your sister."

But hopefully, more often than threatening,

you will hear me rewarding:

"Everyone gets three warm fuzzies

for being so helpful today."

It's on the fridge,

like every other important thing in my life.

And did I mention?

That it's been working

at my house

for three months!!!

Kids doing chores = one very happy uncrafty mom.

One last sidenote:

At church the other day,

a teacher was explaining to me that

in his training he has learned

that you don't want to divide and conquer your kids.

For example,

"Look at Bella, she is such a good cleaner."

I am trying to figure out a way that I can

make this system

more of a Harry Potter style.

Where

everyone

gains

and

loses

together.

I am thinking that may

unify the girls

a little bit more.

Go Griffendor Gold Girls.

Pee Alert

Somebody sent me the following ad in an e-mail.
I replied immediately asking if it was serious.

She said that she hoped so.
Really?

Because I helped a boy child pee at my house the other day,
and the first two times he sat down and it went off without a hitch.
The third time he tried to stand up,
and there was pee everywhere.
It was not pretty.

My question is this...
Do we really want to pee like the boys?

Whiz Freedom

for when nature calls

World’s #1 Hygienic Urine Director.

Allows women to urinate standing up

Blow out Price: $15.00
Retail Price: $24.95
I have 86 in stock ready to ship right now.

• Re-usable
• Anti-Bacterial
• Anti-Fungal
  
• Hydrophobic
• Machine Washable.
• No Hard Edges Anywhere
• Foldable for easy storage
  

This product allows women to urinate standing up and avoid unsanitary bathrooms (nasty toilets). No more need to shed layers of clothing, hover or squat over brush and bushes, endure mosquito bites, looks from others or have pants/clothes sitting on dirty floor/ground, possibly getting soaked. The products preparedness applications for families living in tight quarters and evacuation scenarios, or helping the injured relieve themselves are abundant.
Origins of the Whiz Freedom

The idea for this product was actually conceived by its inventor during the 2004 Asian Tsunami disaster. He was vacationing there with a loved one the day the tsunami hit. He recounted to me many of the sanitation nightmares he witnessed during the chaos afterward, especially for women. One incident in particular motivated him to invent this product. It was of a husband and wife. He watched as the husband knelt over his wife's broken and lacerated legs trying to lay her on her side so she could relieve herself. He tried desperately, but unsuccessfully to not get urine into her open wounds. It was heartbreaking and the inventor wanted so badly to help, but he could do nothing. It bothered him for months afterward until he determined to invent something that could have given that women relief . It is in her memory that the Whiz Freedom was created.
Is it Easy to Use?
"The Whiz freedom™ is very easy to use. Children, students, mothers and 80 year old grandmothers have tested the Whiz freedom™ and they were all complimentary. It is simply held against the body with the broad area of the opening uppermost and then you begin to urinate. Nature and gravity do the rest.
We have not had one single user who cannot use it.

Its unique 'lily shield' shape was tested by over 1400 women in clinical trials in 2003/4 and since then, by tens of thousands of women of all ages, from all walks of life. It is CE marked, FDA approved and available on NHS Prescription in the UK. It is also recommended by the UK Continence Foundation." -From the Whiz Freedom Official Website
Video Explaining benefits and Use of Whiz Freedom



Can Little Girls Use It?
Yes, they can.
My 6 year old daughter has comfortably and successfully used one for the last 2 years whenever we've been on long car trips with no bathroom in sight. The are one size fits all and can accommodate women and girls form 4 years old up to adulthood.

Purchasing Method
To place your order please call or email me.
Phone: 435-817-0743
Email: preparednesspurchases@gmail.com
A PayPal option is available for Credit Cards, please email me for details.

I accept checks, cash or money orders. A PayPal option is available for Credit Cards. Checks can be made out to me and mailed to:

Jacob Meyers

PO Box 268

Spring City UT, 84662

And for you weird equal rights people and/or inquiring minds,

I've tried to authenticate the idea/company online,

and have come up with nothing.

I guess you will have to keep sitting down,

like the rest of us.

But, take courage,

it really may not be that bad of a thing.

LG is mesmerized.

He says,

"But, you'd have to wash it every time.

What would be the use?

You would lose the time you saved standing,

by disinfecting that thing."

Yeah, not to mention, the pee all over my toilet.

I can only imagine the fun

my adventurous daughters

could have with a contraption like this.

Where my kids at?

In honor of those Safetey's at ABES who brave my van door that sticks.

I love my Honda Odyssey.

But, I wish I was lucky enough to have a Swagger Wagon.

"No, seriously honey, where are they?"

"Right there."

"Oh, o.k. cool beans."

Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me #17

You think your book bag is the heaviest

until you pick someone's up by mistake.

Middle School Malady

Summer is over.

I am sending Abigail to school with the big boys.

And I fear for her because

I still have Middle School nightmares.

Here are some examples:

(LG says they are sad,

but really people,

read with a sense of humor,

comedy stems from tragedy,

and I laughed as I wrote

every single one of these

because

what doesn't kill you,

makes you stronger.)

1 - That one black kid who used to tease me incessantly that I was fat

is at it again. And I am stuck waiting for science class, and I can't escape.

2 - I am at school naked

running through the halls

at Valley Jr. High.

(Funny, that was really the name of my school

in CA, even during the infamous

80's Valley Girls song

Warning: Song has language and sexual content)

Like totally awesome.

3 - I am at Magic Mountain riding roller coasters all alone.

(I didn't go on the school's 8th grade trip

because my only friends Melanie and Angela weren't going

and who was I going to hang out with?)

4 - I am learning how to type things in DOS.

goto

HELP.

5 - I am dressed up like a mummy,

except I'm duddy, because my sister is mummy,

and we thought it would be funny if we coordinated

including the cabbage patch mummy who was bubby.

And I reek like ketchup

because that is what we used for the blood.

And my mom didn't tell us better.

Probably because we wouldn't listen to her anyway,

and she figured we could learn the hard way.

And I am stuck at school

and it's only 2nd period

and I can't stand the smell of myself

and Bubby is stuffed in my locker.

6 - I am dissecting frogs.

Or trying to hide under the table.

7 - I am eating Little Debbie Nutty Butty bars,

and cafeteria chocolate chip cookies,

and school pizza (still my favorite).

And I can't stop myself,

I just keep eating and eating until I am sick.

All I drink is soda or chocolate milk

And I am wondering why I am so fat.

8 - My hair is huge.

And it won't un-frizz.

9 - And I am stuck in the nurse's office with a hole in the butt of my pants,

and I don't want to tell her that a dog bit me on the way to school.

Because I have been warned not to play with strange dogs.

But I can either walk around school with my undies hanging out,

or risk telling my mom what happened.

10 - I am bored out of my mind

in History class,

but my teacher is so hot,

I can't concentrate.

11 - I am so sad because I didn't make Choraliers.

And all the cool kids love to dance and sing.

But, I could only sing,

and not dance.

12 - I am stuck in the library

once in 7th and once in 8th grade

because my mom doesn't think that the public schools

should teach kids about sex ed,

and I wasn't as smart as my brother and sister

to forge her signature

on the permission slip.

13 - I am standing there all awkward

because they forgot to call my name at graduation.

And it doesn't matter to anyone

that I had tried to be invisible

for the past two years

and now they were just

proving to me that I was out to be humiliated.

14 - And last, but certainly not least,

I can't remember

my dang locker combination

for the 1ooth time.

Oh, my dear Abigail.

Welcome to the worst years of your life.

And whenever you are having a really bad day,

remember that you are WAY better off

than your mom ever was

because

1 - you aren't fat,

and

2 - you have an amazing memory

that will keep you from ever

forgetting your locker combination.

I wish you would always listen to me

so that you wouldn't have to learn the hard way

But, that is just part of growing up.

In times of trial,

when you are saying,

"I should have listened to my mom"

know this,

I will be there to rescue you

when it gets really really bad.

Because

nobody on this earth

loves you more than I do.

And

I would never let you

wear a Halloween costume

doused in Heinz ketchup

past 4th period.

Love is everything

Last week, I kissed my husband at the dinner table

and asked my kids if they knew how much I loved their dad.

All the girls gave a rapid yes

while covering their eyes and giving us the pukes.

I kept kissing.

And then asked,

"How do you know."

Bella answered eagerly.

"Because you have four kids."

LG about sprayed his Crystal Lite Lemonde

in the baby's face.

"Right", I told her.

And then declared to LG that I was going to have a great blog post.

Happy Anniversary to my husband of 13 years.

Who made this message possible.

With some good love making.

There are certain spelling mistakes that this mother can overlook.

Especially when it comes to love.

Oops

Look, Sophia got baptized.

We are so proud of her decision to take upon the name of Christ.

And, she is gorgeous.

Can you believe she picked this dress

at the thrift store for $3.

She HAD to have it.

It's so Sophia.

"When was the big day", you ask?

"In October 2009, on her 8th birthday."

Oh, it's August 2010; I must be late posting.

No, I just took this picture 2 weeks ago.

Because I realized that I had forgot.

Lucky for me, Sophia is really easy going.

And she can't be mad at me for forgetting.

Because she covenanted to be Christ-like.

I wonder how long it will take for me to

remember child #3's baptism picture?

Have I ever told you that mothers lose

brain cells with every pregnancy?

I am pretty sure that this old wives' tale is true

(I have to say that my stone house makes a perfect backdrop.)

It's too bad that Caroline was only 4 months old back then.

I may have gotten away with it.

The P Words

Precious

Popsicle

Posing

Puce

Peek

Pleased

Peppy

Papoose

Princess

Pacifier

Playing

Piano

Pretty

Picture

Perfect

Tennessee

We are pretty loyal Tennesseeans around here.

We can spell Tennessee correctly.

T - E - Double N - E - Double S - Double E

Daddy taught us.

Maybe next he can teach us how to spell flag.