My Christmas Ornaments

 

I have 3 sisters. For the past 7 years we have all been exchanging Christmas ornaments every year. It has been a great way to combine traditions, family and the wifely duty of decorating. It has also been a great way for my sisters to help me with my total hatred for Christmas tree decorating.

This entry will not be funny because I am tired and must retire shortly. I just wanted to post up these pictures and show the variety of ornaments that are on my tree. Forget these people that make them all match. That is serisouly not fun. I will add a little info about each ornament later....too tired. For now, just think of this as my way of making my Christmas decorating pain worth the trouble. You now have all kinds of ideas for different kinds of ornaments you can make.

Santa Claus is Coming To Town

YOU

BETTER

WATCH

OUT!

YOU

BETTER

NOT

CRY!

YOU BETTER NOT POUT.

I'M TELLING YOU WHY.

SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN. So, bring on a mother's work. Here I am trying not to cry yesterday while I was head to toe in elf costume. I really wanted Santa to keep me on his nice list, so I tried really hard to stay happy. I won't dare pout beyond what I have already done in my last entry. Didn't my little elf turn out cute?

The list of things I used from around the house to make this costume include but are not limited to: packing tape, electrical tape, thread, needle, ribbon, newspaper, wire, pom poms, leatherman, feathery boa stuff, a Santa belt, a dress from younger sister, handed down boots (passed down just in time from cousin Kearan), and last but certainly not least - an old hat that I made in High School to go with some pj's from a Christmas pajama party dance.

The inspiration for the costume of the year came from google and the cover of one of our favorite movies, Elf. We watch this movie all year; it is so funny and pretty wholesome. (it is hard to find both innocence and humor in the same world) The only two items I ended up buying for the costume were the elf ears, which are not included in this picture, and the white tights, which Abigail needed for church anyway. Pretty good huh?

Do you think I redeemed myself from last year? Here is Abigail's sparrow costume from her last year's performance.

I know, I know, what was I thinking? The poor girl had to sqwack around on stage like this. The best compliment of the night came from one of Abigail's best friend's father. Ryan's dad, Matt, has a pretty good sense of humor. He said, "Abigail you were the best tropical sparrow I have ever seen." SO FUNNY!

Skipping Christmas

 

Call me Scrooge, but I hate putting up the Christmas tree. Yes, of course, I am always happy when it is done and we are greeted by twinking lights in our living room for a whole month! (two, if I never get around to taking it down in January) But, c'mon what sadistic Martha Stewart came up with the tradition of putting away every knick knack in your house just to unload 6 huge boxes of junk. Is this really a necessary part of enjoying the holidays?

One of these days I will get the courage up to skip Christmas as I read about in John Grisham's book.

Here is a picture of LG enjoying his Thanksgiving holiday. I am not trying to make him feel bad; I really am glad that he was enjoying some down time.



But, shouldn't we all be able to enjoy our holidays, regardless of our gender?

We need an ACLU Christmas. We need to keep all of our National Holidays, yet, the week after we celebrate, we should have the ACLU version where the men do all the work that the women usually handle and the women act like the men (ie. sitting on the couch reading a book, playing football with our friends, watching sports on TV)

Think about it. Who does the work? We'll start with Easter for the pure delight of making a point. Who buys the candy, who shops for those cute Easter outfits? Who makes sure that they get up at the crack of dawn to stage the fact that the Easter Bunny has visited (Abigail does read my blog now and so I have to be careful what I say here - I know she doesn't believe in the Easter Bunny any more)

Next holiday - July 4th - Who buys and prepares the food and plans the outing? Really, all the men have to do is set off the fireworks..and is that really work?

Halloween - Who buys the candy, who tries to keep everyone from consuming the candy when you bought it the week earlier? Who makes the costumes? Who runs around like a mad woman on 10/31 making sure that all the preparations are accomplished for trick or treating, including the dinner, and making sure that you can somewhat tell what the kids are dressed up as, even under their coats?

Thanksgiving - who combs all the adds looking for the cheapest turkey? Who bakes the pies and the rolls and the, do you really want me to finish the food list? Who has to clean the house like a turkey with her head cut off to accomidate all the company? And, who is that actually sets that darn table? If all of that isn't enough. Now, in American culture, we are expected to get up at the crack of dawn the day after Thanksgiving to make sure we get the best deals for the next holiday coming up.

and Christmas ... I don't think I have to explain the thought process.

I think I would really be willing to give up the two Woman holidays of the year (Valentine's and Mother's Day) to eliminate all the other holiday work throughout the year.

I know, I know, I am a whiner. It's all about the memories we are making. I can't help it that I prefer to make memories without working myself like a horse.

Not that you care, but I really wanted to add a picture of me in here of decorating the tree last night. Guess why I didn't? I spared you the trauma of staring at my big fat bum. Every picture that was taken I was leaning over and picking something up, moving furniture, or plugging something in. Yep, you got it....working.

And were you wondering what LG was doing through all of the Christmas festivities - you got it - not working - unless you consider taking my picture work - which come to think of it - maybe he was working - staring at my bum really can't be considered enjoyable. HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

Oh, and I just added the bonus picture of Kitty Bear. I think she may feel like I do about this whole tree nonsense. Check her out; she's staring it down.

Read the Box

 

Here are some pictures of the Fruity Pebbles that the kids left behind on the carpet after Saturday morning cartoons. For those of you that are unschooled in the fine art of cereal, Fruity Pebbles are some of the smallest pieces of cereal that one can buy. For that reason, I guess I can't be too angry that the girls spilled a few. Besides, all it takes is a vacuum to clean this one up. That is nothing compared to a lot of the other things that I clean up around here (like 1 cup of hot cocoa that toppled all over my pile of clean dishes this morning - I have a hard time with my coordination early in the morning)

So, do you read the box of cereal while eating in the morning? I used to, but rarely take the time anymore. This probably has to do with the fact that I rarely eat cereal, much less the stuff that actually has interesting packaging. What a sad part of growing older: we have to pay more attention to the Nutrition Guide than the free crossword puzzle, not to mention the good toy you sometimes find inside the box. Have you noticed that they have a lot fewer toys in cereal boxes than they used to?

I made a new blogging friend, thanks to LG's cousin Missy. Her last post talked about only having shredded wheat cereal while she was growing up. It made me laugh. I could totally relate. I grew up, like my new friend, poor. We would occasionally get the good cereal, but mostly we just had the yucky stuff too. You know: Cheerios, shredded wheat, and the part that I thought was so funny: puffed wheat. Who eats that stuff? You can't even buy it in the box. You have to purchase puffed wheat in all its glory - packaged in one of those budget saving bags.

I commented on my friends blog that I really thought it was awesome when my mom occasionally upgraded to the Sugar Coated Puffed Wheat. I guess that my past cereal experience explains my need to keep good and tasty cereals in my cupboard. Seriously, I have at least 10 kinds of cereal at all times. I really need cereal therapy. I remember being horrified when some family told me that every Christmas the mother let her kids pick out their favorite sugar cereal. C'mon, do you really think a child can make their favorite cereal last for a whole year. At my house growing up my brothers would have eaten it all before I ever got back for my second bowl. I guess we have Christmas here every Saturday. Saturdays were made for sugar cereal, don't you think?

I love to feed my kids cereal. One of the only things I enjoy about LG being out of town is that I don't have to cook. If he is gone for a week at a time, you bet your bottom dollar that we will be eating cereal at least 5 times, 2 of those being as a replacement for dinner.

So what am I trying to do with this entry? I am not totally sure. I am mostly just rambling and I am sure that this won't make you laugh. But maybe if you slow down some Saturday and take some time to have some sugar cereal and read the box, that might make you laugh. Especially if you do it in your underwear like my brother David always did when we were growing up. That's no joke. Every Saturday, I would wake up to David sitting two feet from the TV, wearing underwear only, wrapped in a blanket, with a gallon of milk, a box of cereal and the biggest bowl and spoon he could find. I guess he read the box during the commercials.

Google is my friend

Have you ever tried to "google" yourself? Laugh if you must, but I do it all the time. Sadly, Alice Gold never brings up anything to do with me. Interestingly there are many other Alice Gold's in this country. Also interesting is that they all seem pretty accomplished. A third interesting note is that my mother-in-law is also Alice Gold. She goes by her middle name Faye, but unfortunate for her she doesn't show up in google either.

So, when searching the engine for Alice Gold got old, I adopted a new favorite pasttime. Now, about once a week I will google "imsofunny". Today I was absolutely elated when I showed up in the #2 spot. Man, I can't believe that I am almost the famous writer that I have been dreaming about for so long. That was facetiousness, in case my naysayer anonymous commenter is reading. (and, yes I do know what facetious means, as well as budget conscience) It is amazing what one can find searching on the internet. One of my previous posts shows a funny find on Ask Jeeves. This search was in reference to one of my most liked entries: Cialis.

I cannot imagine life without google. LeGrand spent years trying to convince me that we needed to upgrade from dial-up to DSL. I always resisted! (Yes, this was before my blogging days) Well, now, occasionally when we go over our budget,(which unfortunate for me we have been doing a lot of lately) LG and I will discuss places we can cut back.

Now, the tables have turned and LG will sometimes suggest cutting out the DSL. I am dumbfounded that he really thinks he can live without fast Internet at home because you know we are NEVER going back to dial-up. Lucky for me, I made a very smart deal with LeGrand before I embraced modern technology. Before I got my DSL or my cell phone I warned him that I would be unable to go back. One point for me in the spousal war...it was as if I knew he would try to renege the offer. HA! I love unwritten contracts. He can never take away my cell phone or my DSL because I refused to get them without him promising that he wouldn't renege.

So, what am I going to do on the computer next? Search for an elf costume for Abigail's school play on Thursday. How did my mother take care of stuff like this in the old days? Can you believe that I actually went and sat at Hobby Lobby looking for a costume pattern today? What was I thinking? I just got on the information superhighway (whatever it is that Nadelie calls the internet) and found what I needed to do in 1 minute flat. Every second spared when you are a mother = one second to do something a little more enjoyable (like blogging). And, a good side note. I just saved us $40 on an elf costume. I'll have to tell LG that the DSL paid for itself this month. He will be so happy.

Next blogging topic: mapquest.

The Your Nighted States

Today, between the 1pm kindergarten pick up and the 2:45 end of the day, two of the girls and I stopped by the post office to mail a Christmas package to my parents. The postal worker kindly gave the girls the post office's coloring book. It is entitled "Greetings from America" and teaches U.S. historical and geographical facts. It's pretty cool and of course the girls are always delighted to get a special surprise that breaks up the monotony of running errands with mom.

On the way home, this was the comical conversation.

Bella talking to herself incoherently, "So people sleep at night and they live in the states."

I was figuring that she was making 4 year old reference self-talk to the fact that we live in The United States and we have our night while my sister-in-law's family has day in Korea. We have had that conversation with her a few times.

I keep on eavesdropping. Bella: "So it's you and states."

Sophia, "Yes Bella, it's The United States."

Bella, "Yeah, The Your Nighted States....we sleep at night."

When I commented that it was great that we live in The Your Nighted States we all had a good chuckle. The girls also loved being surprised by mom listening in during the mundane and long car rides home from school.

Then Abigail gets in the car and starts looking through her book and says, "Mom I can tell you the United States Presidents."

"Oh really, all of them?" "No, not all of them, just George Washington, John Adams and Abraham Lincoln; I am not sure of that guy in the middle with the glasses."

Sophia, "That's Teddy Bear Roosevelt." Abigail, "Oh yeah, and Teddy Roosevelt."

My response: "Abigail now we live in The Your Nighted States, didn't you know?"

P.S. It's not John Adams, that's Thomas Jefferson.

What are you building?

The famiy room fairy and other forms of bribery have already been tried to help my three daughters learn their cleaning responsibility. I am always looking for new forms of bribery...any suggestions?

Last Saturday morning, the girls' toys were everywhere, as usual. LG and I actually tried to bribe the girls with bacon. Can you say, "Will work for pork?" LG gave the girls the chance to earn four pieces of bacon if they could get the room clean during the 20 minutes we were preparing breakfast. All three of our girls would eat a whole pound of bacon if you let them. Can you believe our bribery tactic only worked for Bella? LG, Bella, and I loved eating all that bacon. Abigail and Sophia only earned themselves one lousy piece. Man, we were so hopeful!

On another note, the following story was shared with me via e-mail. I think that this may make some mothers out there chuckle, as I am sure they can relate to me and my bacon bribery as well as this anonymous author's feelings about motherhood.

Unless you are a mother or plan on calling your mother and praising her name after you read this, you can stop reading now. And you mothers: get your tissues ready.

It started to happen gradually. One day I was walking my son Jake to school. I was holding his hand and we were about to cross the street when the crossing guard said to him, "Who is that with you, young fella?"

"Nobody," he shrugged. Nobody? The crossing guard and I laughed. My son is only 5, but as we crossed the street I thought, "Oh my goodness, nobody?"

I would walk into a room and no one would notice. I would say something to my family - like "Turn the TV down, please" - and nothing would happen. Nobody would get up, or even make a move for the remote. I would stand there for a minute, and then I would say again, a little louder, "Would someone turn the TV down?" Nothing.

Just the other night my husband and I were out at a party. We'd been there for about three hours and I was ready to leave. I noticed he was talking to a friend from work. So I walked over, and when there was a break in the conversation, I whispered, "I'm ready to go when you are." He just kept right on talking.

I'm invisible. It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please."

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.

She's going¸ she's going¸ she's gone! One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this."

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:
No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.

These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it."

And the workman replied, "Because God sees."

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over.

You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."

As women, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Christmas Ornaments

I just found these darling ornaments by linking this site from Rita's.



I love these great ornaments. They may really come in handy as replacements for Katie in New York, who put her Christmas tree up 2 weeks ago. And, she has two toddler sons. What was she thinking? I think that all of my girls are finally old enough to respect that Christmas ornaments break. Now, if I could just teach the cat to leave the tree alone, I may be motivated to put my tree up on Thanksgiving weekend like the rest of the country.

The Gratitude

Thanks to Liam's mom for reading my blog! I don't always acknowledge those who come to my blog, especially if I think that they are just looking for readership. But, for some reason, after reading Gina's blog I think I like her. And even thought my craftiness can be quite said, I also liked the cute Thanksgiving craft that was posted on thewoodenporch, which I understood to also be Gina's. Here is the photo.



Here is a link that Gina put on one of her recent posts. I found it fascinating. It is about Ronald Reagan's visit to a church cannery in Ogden, UT. Wow, we belong to an awesome church. If everyone in this world were a member, it would be such a better place to live.

I have a lot to be thankful for today. And, I guess we will just call this my gratitude post. Everyone has to have one, right? Things to be grateful for right this minute: 1- I made a new blogger friend who also happens to be a stranger, for the first time. 2- I just read an article that reminded me that I belong to a church that is awesome and true. 3- I just had the sweetest phone call from a new member of our church who has overnight become a fast friend. 4- I also have been pondering all morning about our Family Home Evening last night. LG gave a lesson about gratitude that included this modern day scripture: (for those of you that are unfamiliar, the Doctrine and Covenants are recorded scriptural revelations given to the first Prophet of this dispensation, Joseph Smith.)

Doctrine and Covenants 78:19 And he who receiveth all things with athankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an bhundred fold, yea, more.

How cool is that scripture. Although, I am sure I have, I don't ever remember reading it before. What a promise. If we are truly grateful for what we have, the Lord will bless us with a hundred fold things of this earth (So, this isn't a blessing we have to wait for until the next life) He will bless us while we are on this earth.

So, I have made a promise to myself that I am going to try and write something comical in every post. That is the point of this blog: to make people laugh. This is going to be hard to do, but worth the challenge.

So, what do I have comical about gratitude? Well, last night at the end of our Family Home Evening lesson, (if you want to read more about Mormon's having Family Home Evening read this exceptional talk by a latter-day Apostle) we combined our activity and refreshments. I had a big bag of gummy bears and told the girls that if they would tell me things that they were grateful for, I would throw them a gummy bear. LG quickly advanced this game to everyone opening their mouths and me trying to accurately toss the bears directly in. Boys make everything so much more fun.

So, the funny part...In the middle of all of this fun, LG started to feel ignored as the girls were getting all the candy. He said, "Wow, that gummy bear was so good, I am SO grateful for it. I wonder if the Lord will bless me a hundred fold."

I replied, "Probably not. It doesn't work that way. If you were truly grateful for that one gummy bear, you wouldn't be wondering if the Lord would give you more because you would be happy with the one you just got." LG conceded that I was correct, but I still chucked a handful at him. His gratitude wasn't quite worth one hundred though.