Friday, January 11, 2013

My opinions

I never keep my opinions to myself.
Those of you who know me,
know that I always speak the truth.
So when I say NEVER I mean never.
And by truth, I mean
things the way that I see them.

One of my goals this year is to NOT
make any comments at church
for a whole year.
You have no idea how hard
this is going to be for me.

Maybe if I don't raise my hand
or blurt out anything funny
my husband will channel
his polar opposite and get
up one fast Sunday and
bear his testimony
to the world.

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

There are good sides to being the way that I am.
Some people really like me for my openness.
There are bad sides too.
Some people are big-time haters.

I am a very black and white person.
It is something I am trying to work on:
taking myself into the grey zone
from time to time.
How weird does that sound?
Who wants to be stuck in the Twilight Zone?

I don't want to be the kind of person
who instantly likes another
or hates them.
I want to be how I would hope
others would be for me,
like my good,
ignore my bad.

A while back in church we discussed

If you judge people, 
you have no time to love them. 
              ~Mother Teresa

Man, I suck at this.

However,
because this is my blog,
I can use it to throw opinions out,
Guilt-free.

So even though you all know I am trying to
not judge people,
and give them the benefit of the doubt,
here are some of my black and whites
that I am trying to turn grey.

I am not into essential oils,
even though every other mom in Utah is.
I will use some if you give them to me for free,
otherwise I will stick to the stuff
I can buy at the pharmacy in Wal-Mart.

I am not into whole foods, even though I did just make cookies with coconut oil and they were good.

I think Girl Scout cookies are evil.
I gained 5 pounds in one week one time
because I ate 3 boxes in a day.
I don't let my girls be Girl Scouts.
I say it's because I don't need one more thing in my life,
but really it's because I still hold a grudge towards those cookies.

I feel sorry for people with bratty kids, and even though I try and tell myself that my kids are brats sometimes and maybe their kids have a special condition, I mostly am stuck in blaming other people for their crappy parenting. (Mental illness is the exception here. I do know a lot of kids that do in fact have conditions.) I am talking about the kids whose only condition is crappy parents. For some reason I can love the kids easier than their parents. I guess because I recognize that the parents are doing the best they can and I shouldn't take it out on the kid.

I hate how rude people have become when in public movie theaters. Turn off your phone already. Don't bring your baby to an action film (or any film) unless you are prepared to take them out at the first sign of fuss. Stop talking. Watch the dang show and remember the people around you paid almost $10 to do the same.

I gravitate towards people who have an exceptional sense of humor (as long as it is a lot like mine) and/or love to have a good time. I also gravitate towards people who are exceptionally smart. I guess opposites do attract sometimes. Wait, does that mean I'm not really funny? Yes, I am admitting I am not smart. I have a goal this year to tell myself I am smart every day until I believe it.

I am so annoyed with people who think they are more important than other people, especially when they are humored by the whole community around them. Your kids are not that cute and they don't deserve special privileges. That is all I am going to say about that because someone reading this may figure out who I am talking about.

I have major issues with dads who father kids but then don't provide for them. Major. Issues. I have issues with mothers who allow this to happen and don't walk away and/or advocate for their kids or in the very least get a job. Once again I don't have a hard time with the kids, they've never been taught any different. Why can I not see the grown parents as the kids that were never taught any different?

I also have issues with the hypocrites that get up in front of crowds and talk about how much they love their families, but really avoid spending time with them as often as they possibly can.

I really don't want visiting teachers. I understand this makes me a hard person to love. I don't like feeling like an assignment. Be my friend or don't but don't come and check on me because someone told you to.

Here is a doozie for you. If in the next life man is going to be totally pure of thought, but can also have a more than one wife, does that mean he will be able to have sex with them at the same time? I truly do lose sleep wondering about things like this.

I secretly hate people who won't admit their weakness. I really do. Don't live your life in such a way that your goal is to make everyone else around you think they have to live up to your standard. bahahaha That sounds pathetic. It is what it is.

I am openly jealous of homeless people: not only do they not have to pay taxes, they have freedom to roam wherever they want to go and do or not do whatever. After many pep talks from my husband, I have come to understand how totally irrational and ridiculous this is.

I hate brussel sprouts. (I just looked up brussel in the dictionary) I can't imagine any scenario where they would actually taste good. O.k. maybe I wouldn't hate them if they were all I could find to eat after three days of starvation, but I wouldn't think they taste good. Ever.

I am going to hell for saying everything I just said. I should delete this whole post. I should have said prayers and studied my scriptures before opening my blog this morning. I don't really know if I want to let you all in on my deep dark secrets. This post is going to have haters and lovers. Can't wait for the lovers. Trying to ignore the haters already.

Hitting publish. now.



24 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good for you, Alice! I made a goal to live in the gray area about 6 years ago and my life is much better for it. I am happier and have shed a lot of judgmentalism toward myself and others. I have more energy to focus on the good. I try to remember that everyone is fighting some sort of battle and that a little more kindness on my part never hurts. I still have a long way to go but at least my feet are on the path.

Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Wow. Why do you feel the need to pass judgement on everyone? Are you so perfect that you never make mistakes? Are you God? No? Then stop. Seriously. You aren't any better than anyone else. For someone as religious as you claim to be you seem so full of hate. In the bible it says judge not lest ye be judged. It also states that before you cast a mote from the brothers eye to remove the gleam in thine own eye. Jesus also said let him who is without sin cast the first stone. I wish you would taste your words before you spit them out. Words can crush people. Keep that in mind. Do you understand how much your mean comments can harm people? And not just the one you are aiming them at. Words are very powerful. Be careful how you use them.

Erick Wills said...

Oh I feel a lot of love in that comment. Talk about judging! Post anonymously on a persons blog and talk bad about them. Christ-like love there. Idiot! At least in my post I am saying out loud you are an idiot and I am totally judging you! No hypocrisy here!

Anonymous said...

Good for you! Learn that there truly are gray areas before your kids make you see them! Love you Alice!

Alice Wills Gold said...

Oh man. Here we go again.
3 out of 4 comments are anonymous
and I've had a hateful caller harass me. Apparently one cannot be honest on their own blog.

ShEiLa said...

I love your visiting teaching comment, that is why I don't have one and I am not one.

Hang in there Miss Alice!

Why anonymous? Can't you speak your mind and say who you are? I guess not or you would have.

ToOdLeS.

Anonymous said...

"So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth."

Holly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Holly said...

Hey--I just ate a salad yesterday that I got in the produce section of Costco, and it had cut up raw brussel sprouts in it, and I was amazed at how good it was. It was then I realized that maybe I just didn't like them because they were always warm and slimy. Just sayin,

Oh, and one more thought. I don't think you should make a goal not to say ANYTHING in church. I think the secret is to realize when you are prompted by the Holy Ghost to make a comment and when you are making a comment to pass judgement or show off amazing knowledge/parenting skills/gospel living abilities. As one who can comment incessantly, I decided one year to not comment unless REALLY prompted to say something, and I found that most everything I felt REALLY prompted to say was edifying or making things real. Having a tendency myself to be judgemental, I realized that edifying comments and comments where I admitted my weakness and how I learned from said weakness, must have been promptings, because they certainly didn't fit with my judgemental tendencies. There are people that need to hear what you have to say, Alice. Let Him work through you to bring to pass greater good. :)

Anonymous said...

Sheila said: "Why anonymous? Can't you speak your mind and say who you are? I guess not or you would have."

Some of us cannot post under our own identities due to an employer, stalker ex-spouse, etc. Not all of us post under "anonymous" to attack, sometimes it is for our own physical safety.

I am one of the two positive anonymous commenters. I congratulate Alice for the positive step she is taking and hope she can feel like she's not always being denigrated.

Kim said...

I think that living in the grey is a good move. Thinking in black in white terms=anxiety, depression and difficult relationships. And it's not honest because people aren't good or bad, crappy parents or wonderful parents, lovers or haters, smart or dumb. People are complex creatures who make good and bad choices, are smart and dumb, crappy and wonderful and everything in between. We tend to want mercy for ourselves and justice for everyone else. But I think the world would be a better place if we were merciful on ourselves and everyone else, too.

It's a Wonderful Life said...

"I am so annoyed with people who think they are more important than other people, especially when they are humored by the whole community around them. Your kids are not that cute and they don't deserve special privileges. That is all I am going to say about that because someone reading this may figure out who I am talking about."

Darn Alice, I can't believe you are talking about me again.

No, I'm not anonymous, it's your dearest cousin. Deanne

We love you!!

Anonymous said...

I wish some people in my ward could go a year without commenting. I also love what you said about visiting teaching. So true! Great post. Enjoyed it a lot. Thanks for sharing.

I'm under anonymous because some of your hater anonymous people frighten me.

Alice Wills Gold said...

Oh no my brother thinks I'm an idiot again. Lol love you Erick.

Alice Wills Gold said...

Totally agree about the complexities and/or Jekyll/Hyde within each if us Kim. Good point.

Alice Wills Gold said...

If I lived close to you Sheila I would so be your unassigned visiting teacher.

Alice Wills Gold said...

I going to look for that salad Holly.

Pondering your insight on commenting at church. I have thought about using this same strategy, I am just not advanced enough to always recognize the difference between my own thought and the spirit.

Alice Wills Gold said...

Thanks Deanne. It was so great to see you.

You can be assured I wasn't talking about you because your kids are special and so deserve special privileges :)

Anonymous said...

I agree w the anonymous haters being scary so I'm doing the anonymous thing too. I totally get the whole visiting teaching thing. But here's the secret... Let them in anyway. You would be suprised by who can become your friends. I have had a lot of people that I was assigned to or who have been assigned to me that I was sure wouldn't work out, or who were maybe a little frustrating at first, but it turns out they are some pretty amazing people. We may not go hang out all the time but I am SO glad to know them and I know I never would have been friends with them otherwise. Sorry. I'll jump down from my soap box now!
I'm glad you have the courage to express your opinions. That's what I like about you.

Erick Wills said...

Actually it is your hater I think is an idiot. But then again I am an equal differentialist, so I think everyone is an idiot at one time or another.

Tammy said...

I agree with the visiting teaching thing, but I try any way. I just don't beat myself up over not getting it done.

I just found myself getting super annoyed today at the grocery store because the checker was going so dang slow and super distracted. I found myself wondering at the circumstances that led her to get a new job at 60+, I suddenly had compassion for her and gratitude for the ability I have to "stay home" with my kids.

Learning to love the grey is something more people need to learn!!

Bobbi said...

Alice, I love you! I have no children. If I did they would be cute but would still not deserve special priveledges. Sometimes I'm not as blunt as I'd like to be. I can be judgemental, I usually keep it inside. I think I judge myself more harshly than anyone else. I can't even start on my deep, dark secrets(too many). At this time I really struggle with the going through the motions of church. Why can't everyone just be themselves and stop trying so hard to appear perfect. I may never be skinny- but I don't really want to be. Like you, my health is important to me. I also gravitate to people with a good sense of humor about themselves as well as the world around us.
I truely count you as a dear friend and hope nothing I have revealed will change that, just as nothing you say will change that for me.
Hugs,
Bobbi

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