Tuesday, July 19, 2011
My Husband Loves Boobs
I remember having a conversation years ago with a lady about breastfeeding etiquette. She had whipped it out in sacrament meeting and I was a little astonished.
"Isn't that why we have mother's lounges in every church?" I prodded.
She replied, "What's the difference in me breastfeeding my kid and you feeding your baby a bottle in church?
Um, I thought that the answer was obvious, but she was awaiting a reply.
"The difference is simple really: Your boob."
(Hello to you, if you are reading this - I am sure you will make your opinion on the matter known.)
"My husband does not want to be looking at that."
And he didn't. He was the one that brought my attention to the boob in the first place.
Guess what? Over the years, I have discovered something. My husband does want to be looking at that!
He's a man. He has a thing for boobs. That's what men do. They start life on their mom's and work their way up to having free access to their wife's. It's the perk of marriage. At least that's how it is at our house. I don't know how it is for you flat chested ladies.
Oh man, my husband is going to kill me.
So,this post is really just my plea: cover it up ladies.
I know it's all trendy right now to advocate for mom's rights to whip it out, but really, can we not be considerate for other people? Especially other ladies who don't want their husbands to have any temptation.
I hope you don't think I am 100% serious. My husband isn't some creep who goes around stalking lactating liberals. But, there is always an awkward moment for him when a woman whips it out with no shame.
I am assuming the moment goes something like this in his mind:
"Should I look? Should I not look? Boy, I think I could look and still get into heaven."
My hubby sent me a link about a lady with a Breastfeeding truck. who has been featured recently in the news.
It showcases a woman's desire to create a place where mom's can breastfeed comfortably and privately.
Bless you Jill Miller.
Now, all my hubby has to do when he is feeling kind of desperate is look at the huge nipple on top of your private place.
At least he can still get into heaven.
Oh, if you didn't read the article, I've got to let you in on the best part.
The author says fictionally to her children,
"No children, that's not an ice-cream truck, stay away, it's a milk truck."
I bet some moms in South America who are still breastfeeding their 8-year-olds are wishing they could get a milk truck in their country.
Oh, here is a place you can buy a classy udder cover.
Or if you are the typical Mormon mommy who likes to be crafty, go here to learn how to make your very own baby blanket.
Because even though we live in a fancy schmancy 21st century where we have to have every product on the market, a baby blanket really works for everything.
At least that's what I think every time I see someone walking around with one of these.
Of course it's so cute; Cally made it.
But really, I had four kids and used a blanket to cover my car seat with every one and it worked out just fine.
Coming soon: a post about the versatility of baby blankets.
Oh and for you la leche nazis, I did breastfeed. I have nothing against it. Nothing at all.
Unless it's you, and you are all hanging out in front of my man.