Thursday, February 04, 2010

Anatomical Energy

There is a reason I married a guy who had the skills in Science.

I knew somebody was gonna have to teach it to our children.

Shortly after LG and I got married, we both started a new semester of college. He went to one of his advanced classes while I tried my hand at Physical Science 101. After this 2nd attempt at Physics, (the first ending horribly in High School with one of the only bad grades I remember receiving) I found my knight in shining armor waiting for me outside the room. It only took that first 45 minutes of the introduction to the semester to get me all in tears.

"I just can't take that class."

He was dumbfounded. I tried to explain. He tried to understand.

Me: "I just don't get the study of gravity. I know if I chuck this textbook at you, it will hit you. Why else do I need to know that stuff? I don't care how long it will take or how hard it will hit. Who needs the law of gravity? It's not like we are ever gonna live on the moon."

Him: "Well, Alice, that isn't technically the law of gravity, if you throw that book at me."

Me crying harder, "O.k. whatever, see I just don't care. I can't learn about something that I don't care about one iota."

"or one molecule, or atom or whatever they call that stuff."

Do they really call it mass? Matter? And there is a difference between the two?

Later that evening, while in bed, (we were newly weds who actually waited until we got married, so you can go ahead and wonder why we were still discussing this topic) we decided that Biology might be a better choice for me.

If I could get the babies here,
he would agree to teach them everything they needed to know in the area of science.

Well, tonight was the night. Where was my knight in shining armor when I needed him?

Abigail came home from the fifth grade with the confusing stuff.

"Are you serious Abigail? They really teach you this stuff in fifth grade?"

No wonder I was so lost in the 11th grade. It was the first time I remember ever seeing the material.
Did the rest of the class really get their start about 6 years earlier?

Well, I am honored to tell you that the stuff is still confusing to me.

Abigail tried to be humble. O.k. not really.

"Mom, it's so easy. Will you just test me on the stuff?"

"Um, yeah, sure."

Note to self: Someday tell Abigail the knight in shining armor story.

Here is where my explaining stopped.

This is a photo of the Nuclear Plant in Diablo Valley, CA

Me: "Abigail, there are two boobs in California. I think they are kinetic, um, I mean potential energy."

"Oh, forget it, go to bed. We'll get you up early so dad can help you."

Abigail. "Boobs, are you kidding me mom?"

Oh, yeah, I dropped Anatomy after two weeks.
I just couldn't stand the thought of seeing what was really inside of a boob.

And if you are like me and still left trying to figure it out.

Does a boob store energy or is it "energy in use"?

You will have to ask my husband. Or Abigail may be able to help you. Tomorrow.

LG just got home.
He says that the answer is: Boobs create energy.


Alice Faye said...

OK. I was somewhat confused. I looked up Kinetic and the first thing it said was, "Kinetic Online. Shop Kitchen products at Target." Still confused. I did read on to see it had something to do with motion. This is not my subject of choice either. Anyway-I loved Abigail's reaction. It was funny and the Boobs were funny and the Knight in Shining Armor made me think about the time I asked Duane to help me with a Math class I was taking in college. I was looking at my book and trying to explain to him what I DIDN'T understand only to look up and see he was fast asleep. I closed the book, cried, and dropped the class the next day. End of my Math career but fortunatley not my marriage. It was close though.

Alice Wills Gold said...

I told you that you needed to read it along with Duane. :)

ShEiLa said...

Something else we have in common.
I am not a science girl either. Math... no way. Give me History and English (and don't make that a senior year college English 101- cause I will listen to the professor read the syllabus and class expectations... and I will check out of the class the very next day) Not everybody has a knack for science. But I am glad my hubby understood it. He got my kiddos through.


Ane said...

That's too funny! There is a great website with some great sources to help with this hard stuff here is the link:

Lori said...

My favorite part of the whole post was the title. :^)

stacey said...

I am still laughing.

mother goose said...

hmmm... I think boobs store energy and then when sucked upon they are energy in use. Yeah, how graphic was that for ya?? pretty crude, huh? the funny thing is, I din't even have to try.

Katina Angola said...

boobs create energy.jaja

Lovable Lies Family said...

You seriously make my day:)