Reflection

I recently have felt some bad mojo with myself.

That probably doesn't even make sense.

It has to do with the fact that my husband has been in a cave for over a month.

And that I didn't get that solo in the church choir.

And I wasn't invited to THAT party.

And I have gained 15 pounds since the baby has been born.

And I am sleep deprived.

And my kids have been sick on and off ever since school started.

And tonight to top off all insults, the shelter wouldn't let us take that darn dog home. They have to clear us with our veterinarian. I cannot even imagine the whaling that is gonna happen when our kids can't get that dog named Fiesta tomorrow because we missed Kitty Bears vaccines one year.

Hmm...what else can I come up with?

Oh, we don't have very many friends because our house is in shambles and nobody likes to come over here when we can go to their nice beautiful well decorated homes. But they don't really invite us over. (No this is NOT to make you feel bad...you three friends who know who you are)

Or maybe we don't have any friends because I am overly obnoxious and my husband is about as anti-social as you can get.

My husband has been a business owner and a lawyer for over 18 months and HE HATES IT!

And I hate it that he hates it.

And we have never been so poor.

And we wanted to get that dog because it was a cheaper option than the trampoline.

And Santa can't disappoint three darling little girls who want nothing but a dog for Christmas.

And it's a good thing because they aren't going to get much more than that.

If they even get that. Because the shelter apparently doesn't want to send dogs to good and loving homes.

And now my husband is on the phone and I remembered that he chipped a tooth today.

And I gotta call the dentist tomorrow.

Man, I was just happy yesterday when I realized we had freed up $125 a month because we had finally paid off my dental work.

And I am glad that he is still breathing because he has been breaking out in hives on and off for over three weeks.

He told me he is like Job.

But he probably isn't as righteous.

So I hope his stress will go away soon.

Because the only reason he is still doing this is because we think that is what God wanted.

Surely, He is gonna say, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant" very soon and maybe if we get really lucky He will add "now go and get a real job with a consistent paycheck."

Back to me.

Maybe my problem with my bad mojo is that I haven't been blogging?

I need somewhere to get it all out there.

But I can't blog easily because my desktop died and I am using a laptop that doesn't access my pictures very easily.

Oh, and did I tell you how horrible it is that my laptop is set up on a makeshift table that is blocking me from getting to my tupperware?

Yeah, THAT tupperware...the table is right in front of my dishwasher. And my dishwasher is where I keep my tupperware because my dishwasher hasn't been used in over a year because it is broken.

I am not trying to get sympathy here.

I swear.

I am just getting it out there.

Because once I type it out, it's like it all goes away.

And I forget that my kitchen counters are covered with dirty dishes that I just can't find the will to wash tonight.

But this year, I have truly learned gratitude.

I know it doesn't sound like it, but really,

I am grateful that I have dishes to eat from.

And food to eat.

And a laptop that works.

And that it can hook up to the Internet.

So that I can get it all out of my system.

And who cares about that stupid solo, or that party, or those pounds.

I am a daughter of God.

And He loves me.

And he provides me with my necessities.

Sometimes that's ALL he provides.

But, as they sang on Glee last night.

We can't always get what we want, but we get what we need.

Oh yeah, my brother really got onto me for watching that show.

Because if I was just more righteous.

The other night, at our church Christmas party,

I was discussing with a girl her dream of becoming a chef.

I wondered out loud, what my dream would be that I could maybe pursue someday.

She said, "I bet it will have something to do with your blog."

I bet she is right.

Everybody needs a dream.

It makes you feel happy.

And it makes you focus.

And mine happens to help me get it all out there.

And if you are still reading this.

Maybe my dream has some merit.

Because somehow you relate.

And that is the magic of a good writer.

And she may be a better singer.

And her a better hostess.

And she a better crafty - er person.

And her skinnier.

And her more beautiful.

And heck, there are plenty of girls out there with more hits on their blog.

But, one person is gonna read this and feel better.

And that's all I could ask for.

Dammit.....five misspells.

Maybe I will find another dream.

Can't you just wait for my Christmas card?