Tonight as I talked with my husband, I was expressing my concern for a friend who just had her third baby.I asked LeGrand, "What can I do to help her transition?" I really want to try and alleviate some of her adjustment pain.
"Should I call the Relief Society and set up meals and babysitting?" LeGrand with his infinite wisdom says, "Yeah, you could do that, but why prolong the inevitable nervous breakdown."
And, here is the telling rest of the paragraph. I hate to nark on myself here, but it is just too funny not to share. Here is what came straight from my hubby's mouth.
LG: "Alice, she has to figure it out on her own. She'll have the nervous breakdown, just like you did, and she'll then figure stuff out on her own."
Me: "Stuff, like what?"
LG: "Like, she'll quit bathing her kids every day, and she'll get a hobby, and she'll let them sit in front of the TV, wash her dishes once a week, and get behind on her laundry."
With LG's raving review of my mothering skills, don't you think I should call my friend right now and impart all my knowledge? And, also, don't ya'll think I deserve a really GREAT BIG Mother's Day gift for learning every Motherhood survival technique known to womankind?
18 comments:
It was so kind of you to try and spare her the inevitable... being a Mother is tough and how perfect is the knowledge that you do not have to do 'it' all. You can be a great Mother and still cut yourself some slack. One of the biggest mistakes we make as women is playing the comparison game. Whose dishes are always done? The poem I learned growing up is one that my Mother had right by the kitchen sink. Thank God for dirty dishes, they have a tale to tell. While others may go hungry, we're eating very well. For health and home and happiness, I shouldn't need to fuss. For by this stack of evidence...God's been good to us. Whose laundry is never dirty? Yeah right! This was the coolest post ever. Thanks. Whose kids never watch TV? Oh yeah I know one, but I wouldn't want to be her. Great Insight! toodles, Sheila
Good laugh, early in the morning. I think this knowledge will help me even though I only have two. I feel a little better about the laundry on the couch that's been there since yesterday. I guess I have a few more days before getting to it. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
I absolutely love LG and his perspective! He is so much like my dh, it is uncanny. I am a perfectionist at heart, no deeper, at soul. But realized thanks to dh's incessant reminders. It doesn't matter. What matters is they have a mother and that I am mothering them. Not staying up til 2am, after they have all gone to bed scrubbing baseboards and tearing out every thing in the cupboards to re-organize. (It was the only thing I had control of) I let it go. So, sometimes the tupperware is not neatly stacked! Big Deal, and you know what? Life still went on and is so much happier even though my baseboards are scarred and dusty and my tupperware are not nestled, the beds are not made but I am enjoying life with the kids. So, everyone knows how to make hospital corners for their beds but we only do this, if grandma comes to visit! You are GREAT! I hope you get a spectacular Mother's day gift.
LOL. But it's true you have to decide what takes the highest priority and start with that and sometimes it's not a bath or dishes. I don't know what I'll do with 4 kids I only have 2 hands!!!
I think that that is a totally normal thing to do. Any woman who doesn't brake down after having a baby is nuts in my mind.
You and me Alice, we rock the Mother of the Year category every year! Life is good and the kids are happy. Sometimes stuff can just wait! PS I had the "I'm jealous of your hobby" conversation with my husband last night! I told him that I still loved him more than blogging. He seemed satisfied. PPS thanks for adding me!
Oooooooooh; so that's what I was doing wrong. I would really have loved your advice back then.
You have a tough hubby. I'm not sure Mr. would dare tell me that. On second thought oh, yes he would. And we would laugh hard, too.
OK Alice, that post was the best and I loved all the comments your fans left you. LG is HILARIOUS!! And he's so very right on!! I loved P*Dunc's comment and I agree. All women have their break down (actually, that should be plural cuz you don't have just one.) and if they say they haven't, they're telling a bold faced lie or they've lost their ticker.
I'm telling you, ppd is 90% lack of sleep, 10% hormones. I have so many weird/crazy stories after 4 kids! I always say, if you can get past the first six weeks, you're golden.
I love LG.
Hi ALi, I still check your blog every few weeks. You're an entertaining writer and LeGrande's sense of humor is great! That "third child" breakdown really will come sooner or later. Congratulations on passing the bar!
That is a riot! Having just come through the 3rd child transition, I have to say I agree with LG. No one can tell you, help you, whatever. You just have to adjust on your own. Wanda asked me tonight if I was used to having three. I said yes. She said, "so you've caught up on everything, and things are going good?" I said, "No. I'm just used to the craziness!" When does this part end?
So true. But I'm curious what LG has to divulge about HIS parenting after 3 kids...
Ummmm.... do I have to wait until number 3 before its okay to be behind on the laundry and to let the kiddos sit in front of the tv? I am in trouble.
Not just a gift, but an award! You are an amazing wife, mother and friend!
that is so funny. yes, I think there is a great deal of truth in that. I'll just add that you stop caring quite so much if their hair is parted when you go to the store and if their clothes match at school. thanks for the post!
Awesome, awesome, awesome. That is so funny and so dang true. Nothing wrong with a little dirt and tv now and then.
We all learn step by step. We just need to be there to help each other relax and not get caught up in all the details.
A few weeks ago I was able to spend some real quaility time with my 2 sons, 16 and 17. It seems that when we are traveling in the car...that is when we get into some deep conversations. I chose to quiz them! :) What I learned that day was that they remember the GREAT times...the fun times...the real big events..INSTEAD of the time that I wigged out on them for standing on a Little Tikes table and emptying out the freezer. Or the time that I spanked them while crying hysterically for tampering with all the electrical outlets. They remember that I was always there for them..that they felt safe as little guys..and that I was a good cooker!! This long heart to heart talk really made me feel good...it made me forgive myself for all the times that I felt short with them or let other things come before them. I never believed that my sons would grow so fast.
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