Tuesday, February 07, 2012

The Break Up

I broke up with my blog.
But I can't seem to let it go completely.
During the day I find myself remembering the good times
and the bad.
I think of funny things I want to write
or things that are happening that I don't want to forget,
but then I remember that I broke up with you my dear blog.
I don't need you anymore.
I am doing fantastic.
I don't need the dream of thousands of people being interested in what I have to say.
I gave it up.
I grew content with the simple life that I have.

But then I remember all my friends who I miss.
Their comments brightened so many of my dark days.
I wonder how they are doing
because even though none of them were as public about it
they seem to have survived breakups of their own.
They no longer come to talk to me through the internet
because I think they grew content with their lives too.
I guess we are all getting older.
Or more feministic. 
That isn't a word.
 I love it when I make up words.
And then I chuckle thinking about another reason why I miss my blog.

The blog was a lot of things for me,
but the one thing I miss the most about it
was its ability to connect me with my friends.
My blog was a place for them to come and tell me
that they are right there with me.
They get me.
They were so happy that I dared admit things others wouldn't.
It was a place for me to laugh.
And cry.
And get my fingers moving
when I didn't want to write.

Now all I have is my i-phone
and even though it is a cool new boyfriend,
like the star quarterback kind
it's not the same.
I miss my lowly little homely blog.
He always got me.
He always made me smile.
And he always validated me.

But gosh darnet, I am with the star quarterback now,
I don't need validation.
Back to my couch to play some more words with friends
and forget about the fact that my creative outlet won't ever let me take him back.

If the new and improved me who is worthy of dating the star quarterback just wasn't counting calories 
maybe I could fill my temporary lonliness with oreos and milk tonight.

Alice, get it together. You are dating the star quarterback.

Have you noticed that I haven't even changed my masthead?
But I am reading my scriptures every day.
Cultivating my relationship with my Savior.
Running three times a week.
Counting calories.
Occasionally posting on my other blog.
Working two nights a week.
And spending way too much time with my quarterback.
Therefore the deeper blog separation and the excuse for only reading one book so far all year.

I believe it is time for another break up.


necturina said...

I need you like a drug.....

A Busy Nest said...

It is hard to do so many things! I haven't been posting much. More cooking = higher caloric intake! :(

Rita said...

How about instead of a break-up, you just give each other some space? I think you do "need" your blog as a place to write when you want to write -- don't think of it as a daily necessity, just a "when I have time and feel like it" kind of thing.

You are such a good writer -- I know your blog will welcome any attention you give it -- reminds me of The Giving Tree...the boy grew up and went away, but the tree was always there, welcoming him back...sniff..sniff...

(yes, I know -- dramatic, aren't I???)

Love you! You are my hero!

Holly said...

Don't break up with anyone. Just do like it says in the strength for youth and:

"Avoid going on frequent dates with the same person. Developing serious relationships too early in life can limit the number of other people you meet" :)

If you really entranced the quarterback, just make sure you still go on dates with the steady, reliable boy.

:)I'm glad you are doing so many good things. Just keep up the good work!!