Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Proud Mothering Moments

When I was a young mother,
I screwed up all the time.
I would like to think that I screwed up
then more often than I do now.

I laugh as new mothers ask me
how I do so well with 4 children.
I laugh because they don't believe me
when I tell them that there's a learning curve.

To prove my point, here's a great story.

One time, LG and I went shopping with Abigail.
Remember, we only had ONE child.
Maybe two, I can't remember if Sophia was born yet.
We went to Utah's finest hub for young poor college families:
The Wal-Mart in Orem, UT.

Abigail started whining that she needed
to go to the bathroom.
We cut our shopping short,
and checked out quickly.
LG was assigned to take the things to the car.
And, I took Abigail to the bathroom at the front of the store.

I took her in a stall and got her situated.
When all of the sudden,
a wave of "I need to relieve myself too"
washed over me.

I told Abigail to stay in her stall
and that I was going to run into the stall next to her.
I talked to her as I ran over and the whole time
I was doing my business.

In the middle of this, I see her feet hit the floor.
I adamantly encourage her to wait for me.
I tell her to sit back down.
She took a step.
I tell her to stand still.
She keeps walking.
I see her feet run out of her stall.
I don't know if she can hear me.
I start raising my voice.

"Abigail, Abigail, mommy is right here."
"Abigail, come here."
I notice that she left her pants and her underwear
on the floor of her stall.
I hurry and pull my pants up.
And run.
I don't even think I flushed the toilet.

By the time I got to her,
she had walked out of the store.
With no pants on.
So much for Code Adam.
So much for Wal-Mart greeters
watching for suspicious activity.
And so much for me being
a natural at raising kids from my first.

And I have never EVER tried to go to the bathroom
at the same time as one of my toddlers
ever since that horrifying day at Wal-Mart
back in 2000 or 2001.

And one lesson, after another, and another,
has made me into the amazing mother
that I am today.
And lucky for me,
none of the rest of my lessons,
consisted of me
running after a naked child
in the parking lot
of Wal-Mart.

Did I mention that she had pooped
and hadn't been wiped?
And the same goes for me.


Renee said...

Alice, your stories are the best! So dang funny, and always so real and humbling. Thanks for helping me feel normal... if there is such a thing!

Jenny said...

I have had many learning curves at mom, and continue to do so.

I had one daughter who would not use a public rest room. So, if I went shopping I would try to make sure she had gone before we left home. I can remember walking out of Wal-mart in Springville, leaving a basket full of groceries over her need to only go at home. To think she just spent a whole week at girls camp and was just fine!LOL


Henna @ AboutCabinets Blog said...

the stories are soo cute. i fell in love with the, they way you talk about you being a mother is very emotional

ShEiLa said...

Your experience makes for one hilarious story after another... that's real life for ya. Especially if kids are in the mix.

One year at the County Fair Yvette needed to go potty. WE waited in line forever. Instead of having her go in one stall and me in the next I thought we would share. I let her go first. Then I said stand right here and I will hurry. All of the sudden as I pull down my pants I hear... Mom your bum is right in my face and she didn't say it quietly. Needless to say my face was very RED as we left the stall to wash our hands with a huge line of ladies staring at us.


Don- Ash -Carter -Levi said...

HaHa This cracked me up - I had to read it to Don, who laughed as well. :) Thanks for keeping it real...I have found as a first time mother that my wonderful shaggy front room carpet is a choking hazard to my 7 month old who knows how to pull the rug strands up and inhale them...major choke 2x now... hmmm will my son make it to a year?

Anonymous said...

Just read this to Scott who almost threw up at the thought of you & her not wiping. (Have I ever mentioned to you that my hubby is a clean freak.) So now if he evers meets you he is going to have a visual of you not wiping. lol however at least you got your pants up. Now that would have been funny. :-)