Friday, September 05, 2008

Gender Roles

And, these pictures are here for one purpose.
I want to prove that I am teaching my girls the fine art of being a girl.
Here are all of my girls picking out their desired hair do for the school year.


And, Bella demonstrates how a girl just loves getting her hair shampooed.




While in college, LG and I took a class together called Sociology for the Family. We learned that we shouldn't gender role our kids. For instance, give your daughters toy cars and your sons a baby doll.

I agree to a certain extent, but have been a little relieved that my girls have femininity as well as an ability to hang with the boys. I mean, for example, Abigail can tell you any character in Star Wars, and you know that's not a normal girl thing. Sophia can kill any of your boys at Mario Kart and Bella...well, I can't think of anything for her except for the fact that like her mother, she just doesn't have the energy to deal with the girl drama.

Do you know what my secret wish is? I know it sounds weird, but I would love to have a daughter grow up to be a darling and cute football quarterback. About ten years ago there was one of these girls at a high school in Utah. She was the star quarterback and the Homecoming queen....I just think that is the coolest thing ever. I mean I don't want a daughter to be a quarterback because she wants to look or act like a guy. I want her to be ALL girl and play ball with the best of the boys. And, if you think that is so crazy, please make your comment really really mean. The mean ones seem to rally even more comments.

Well, the purpose of this post. It's my first mom's advice post. And the advice is: don't gender role your kids. But, please remember that you also have to teach them proper femininity/masculinity. And, if you don't believe me, go over and read the latest post by my sister Renee.

This oldie but goodie from The Muppet Show supports my point masterfully.


Oh, and just for a bit of fun.
Here are the lyrics so you can teach your girls
(or boys - I guess)

I enjoy being a girl.
I'm a girl, and by me that's only great!
I am proud that my silhouette is curvy,
That I walk with a sweet and girlish gait
With my hips kind of swivelly and swervy.

I adore being dressed in something frilly
When my date comes to get me at my place.
Out I go with my Joe or John or Billy,
Like a filly who is ready for the race!

When I have a brand new hairdo
With my eyelashes all in curl,
I float as the clouds on air do,
I enjoy being a girl!

When men say I'm cute and funny
And my teeth aren't teeth, but pearl,
I just lap it up like honey
I enjoy being a girl!

I flip when a fellow sends me flowers,
I drool over dresses made of lace,
I talk on the telephone for hours
With a pound and a half of cream upon my face!

I'm strictly a female female
And my future I hope will be
In the home of a brave and free male
Who'll enjoy being a guy having a girl... like... me.

When men say I'm sweet as candy
As around in a dance we whirl,
It goes to my head like brandy,
I enjoy being a girl!

When someone with eyes that smoulder
Says he loves ev'ry silken curl
That falls on my iv'ry shoulder,
I enjoy being a girl!

When I hear the compliment'ry whistle
That greets my bikini by the sea,
I turn and I glower and I bristle,
But I happy to know the whistle's meant for me!

I'm strictly a female female
And my future I hope will be
In the home of a brave and free male
Who'll enjoy being a guy having a girl... like... me.

12 comments:

Kathy said...

I never took a class on gender roles or anything but I do have 2 boys and 2 girls.

Here is my take on genders. I think they are born as boys and girls and with that comes some personality traits that makes them better or worse and certain things. For instance Claire can already color better than Luke and is almost as good as Tayson. She loves to color and doesn't just scribble like both the boys do.

My boys fight out everything they disagree on. Claire pouts and throws fits. I think these traits are just part of their gender. Of course personliaties have a lot to do with it too - Tayson is soooo dramatic and social and Claire (who is left handed) can throw a ball really well and I think she has the best chance of being our athlete.

I am not a big fan of limiting what my kids do because of their gender. Boys can help cook and clean too and girls can play all the sports they want. I let them all play with all the toys (cars and dolls). And thanks to Todd Claire LOVES star wars too!!!

Wow - I think this is the longest comment I've ever made on a blog. But I don't think it was mean enough - I'll work on that.

Sheila said...

Do we get to see the end result of the hairstyles? I'll be waiting.
ToOdLeS.

C.E. Salima said...

As always, you give me pause for thought and make me laugh at the same time. I actually don't like girls playing football with the boys. It seems like there should be one sport where they can just keep it to themselves. But that's just me and only one opinion.

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katie said...

loved this post. growing up i loved to dress up in my moms slip and nylons and run around the neighborhood. (to the shock of some family members) but as i got older i wanted to be steve young! i was the only girl in 6th grade the boys would let play football(I could throw and tackle) and when I was 11 i finally got to meet steve young in person. I thought i had died and gone to heaven!

Kali (my only girl) loves to paint her toes and dress up, but she also loves to get dirty and dig in the dirt and play sports. joseph and carter love sports but they also love to help me cook and make up recipes.

There needs to be a balance in all things!

MiaKatia said...

OH that miss piggy clip was too cute! I don't know that my opinions are too far different from yours. I don't mind if my son plays dress up with my daughter and I don't mind if my daughter plays ball with my son. I want them to appreciate their own femininity/ masculinity and to appreciate that of their spouse. Although I don't want my son or daughter playing football, but I grew up in west texas so there are a whole different bunch of reasons for that.

Cheryl said...

I enjoyed this post! My goal as a mother was to raise my children to be well rounded...to experience as much as possible in this lifetime...this is how I was raised. I am so thankful for a strong woman that was my Mom. She instilled belief in myself at an early age...the belief that I could do so many things if I only would try. The belief that I could have pretty nails and still chop wood or taking ballet and being on the little league team at the same time was possible! She passed on at the age of 38,leaving me an orphan at 14. I lived with a family for 3 years that were uninterested in my success in life. I held on to my Mom's teachings that helped ease the fear of facing so much alone! One time in particular comes to mind. I was in my early 20's with little money and a broken down car. As I layed on the ground under my old Mustang with a Chilton's Car Manual and dropped the axle to change the u-joints...I cried as I whispered, "Thank you Mom!" Being self sufficient isn't gender related and survival isn't gender related. We mustn't forget to introduce as much as we possibly can to our children whether male or female...they will thank you!

Ree said...

I took a class way back when which taught the same thing about not gender-typing. But since becoming a mother, I've been surprised at how my children seem to be "pre-programmed".

Mother Goose said...

Hello, with me as their mother, there was never a doubt about any gender rolls. My girls are raised to know they can do it all. No limits. However, I do have a GIRLY GIRL!
My boys were gender encouraged. But, there is a sensitive side. No pink dresses. I dressed warrior up when he was 2. ONCE and ONCE only. eek. but, my Dash, he had 2 older sisters and they had him with dolls, purses, doing it all.
He is all boy. But, he is also the most meticulous, he is a perfectionist and he lets you know if your hair is a wreck or you don't look good in what you are wearing. I go to him if I want to know if I really look good or like crap.

devri said...

NOt me I spank my boy for wanting his hair done.. jk... There are way to many photos of my boy dressing up with my girls,just hide them from my hubby..Tongan...explains everything.

My secrete wish- That my girls grow up, get boobies, and all, but except for the attitude, the hormones, and thier periods.. There has to be a way, for when the time is right( after they move out) that they can pick up their card to go purchase it...sheesh!!

Yvonne said...

Such a fun post. From the beginning my kids seemed to understand who they are--the boys may have played with a doll once in awhile, but on their own they discovered what they REALLY enjoyed--all the boy stuff!!!

I loved the picture of Bella getting her hair shampooed--what little girl (or big girl) doesn't enjoy that experience ; )

Rita said...

I love this post -- I think my daughter is a girly girl when she wants to be, but with two brothers, she tends to be a bit tomboyish as well and I'm perfectly okay with that. Nicholas, enjoys wearing his sister's dress up shoes and carrying things in her toy purses. He also has "adopted" her pink teddy bear. All of these things drive Matt crazy, I however think it's funny and know it won't last forever. He's not going to be wearing her dress up shoes when he's 10, you know?? (Or at least I hope not! LOL)

Lindsey Rose said...

I totally think girls and boys just natural flock to "their" stuff. Brielle is about as girly as you get, hated wee-ball, lives for dance class. Beson on the other hand just wants to watch Bob the builder and play with lightning McQeen and trains. I don't ever take dolls away when he plays with them though, he needs a sensitive side too you know!