I have that much.

Faith is important to me.

I've discussed it before

here, here, here, and here.

Faith has carried me through a lot of stuff.

One of those above links

was when my husband failed the bar exam.

That was tough.

Here is how faith

influenced me

as a small child.

The story is also

a fun reminiscence

of my crazy dad

and how he jimmy-rigged

and stole (I mean borrowed)

a truck to get our

station wagon out of the mud.

So my latest trial of faith may be the hardest trial I've ever faced. It's not something I can really blog about because to reveal it would not be fair to others, but it's tough. Trust me, it's really tough, so tough I can't talk about it on my blog. ( And you all know I talk about everything from moobs, my body, crying myself to sleep, and even the horrible botched farce on breastfeeding.) So it's tough and it reminds me that everyone is fighting their own hard battle, whether or not they share it.

Anyhow, I was praying about this trial last week. It was one of those big prayers in my life that I will always remember. For me it was huge on two levels. It was huge because I decided to do it after a long prideful prayer hiatus. {shame on me} And it was huge because I poured my heart out to my Heavenly Father as though he really was my Father listening and that He cared and that He would help me. I bawled like a baby and questioned, "Why?" Even if we aren't supposed to ask "why", I did. (This is one of my favorite addresses on trusting in the Lord and talks about not asking why) I needed to know WHY does this have to be my life when I have tried so very hard for the last 20 years to do everything right for God.

The answer came (like it always does eventually) two-fold. The answer was first a thought in my mind. "I have this trial so I will pray." This trial is so hard that it always brings me to my knees out of desperation and God allows this in my life because He knows I will be happier with Him in my life.

The second answer came from the words out of my own mouth.

"Father, you've said in your scriptures that if we have the faith of a mustard seed, we can move mountains. Well, I sometimes struggle with my faith, but I know I have that much. I have at least as much as a mustard seed."

I saw in my mind, my Father in Heaven, the most omnipotent being ever. All knowing, all powerful, and all loving, he let go of his embrace from this wailing child, he nodded at me and said, "Yes, you do. Well done. Now hold on Alice, we're gonna move this mountain on my time."

Faith is my greatest treasure. I hope I always keep at least a mustard seed worth.

Thanks to the book Cold Sassy Tree for another take on faith and answered prayers.
{SPOILER ALERT}



I'll publish my book review on Cold Sassy Tree next week.
It's a new all time favorite.


Here is some spiritual enlightenment on how to use the supernal gift of prayer. Really really good stuff.

Living a Consecrated Life

Every 6 months Mormons gather worldwide

to hear from the latter day prophets and apostles.

You may think that sounds crazy,

but trust me, if you were to peek in,

you would be astounded.

Astounded like you were at the feet

of Moses or Noah or Peter, James, or Paul.

For me, every time, the experience is life changing.

This last session in October was especially so.

I wrote down a list of personal questions

that I have been seeking God for answers about

and then I prayerfully listened 

for communication from God

through His messenger The Holy Ghost.

1-How can I know my purpose or mission in life?

2- How will having my own personal goals make me happier?

3-How can I become more physically/mentally healthier? To what level should I commit myself?

4-Why has it been so hard for me to find a job?

5-What about more kids? I want to be done and I want to know now.

6-How long should I wait to finish my education?

7-How can I get more disciplined and make living the gospel priority #1?

8-What do I need to change as a wife and a mother?

I got a whole composition book

of notes

on personal guidelines

for my life.

I hope to share some.

Ian S. Ardern gave a particularly helpful talk.

It was entitled A Time to Prepare. 

Listen to this:

Mastering the techniques needed to
reach our goals includes becoming
the master manager of our time.
Our greatest happiness comes as we tune into the Lord and to those things which bring a lasting reward....Take those things that rob us of our precious time and determine to be their master, rather than allowing them through their addictive nature to be the master of us.

He also said: "Grind distractions to dust."

This talk answered a whole slew of my questions.

From this talk I made myself some new goals

that would assist me in showing God

by the way I use my time

that He is my first priority.

1-Quit wasting time on the computer and looking for validation online.

2-Make a goal to run a 5k.

3-Pray and study every day.

4-Follow the promptings of the spirit on a daily basis.

I've been using my time much more wisely, and I feel a million times happier.

Living a consecrated life isn't a sacrifice, it's one of God's very best blessings.

He looks after each of us individually and speaks to us.

He knows what we need.

I have found that seeking out the Lord in my life

always leads to greater personal satisfaction.

Squashed Dinner Plans

Experts say that eating meals together as families have all kinds of benefits for everyone.
This article on CNN recently sited some of the best reason to eat dinner together.

1- Supper can be a stress reliever.
2- Kids might learn to love their veggies.
3- It's the perfect settings for new foods.
4- You control the portions.
5- Healthy meals mean healthy kids.
6- Family dinners help kids "just say no"
7- Better food, better report card.
8- Put a little cash in your pocket.

Recently, I tried out a new recipe for butternut squash soup. Shannon had served it at lunch and I enjoyed it so much I decided to make some for the family. You can find a close recipe here.

It was delicious. I slaved over it for hours. We sat down to dinner and everyone was instantly opposed to eating orange soup. Even my hubby wasn't too keen on the idea. He spooned it away and tried to pretend he loved it, but he wasn't fooling anyone.

So much for dinner being the perfect setting for trying new foods. CNN, you lie! My kids weren't learning to love their veggies that night. Everyone was more stressed. I hope it won't cause the girls to come home with bad report cards too.

I sat and enjoyed the soup while everyone else helped themselves to cereal. I gave a good sized take-home portion to our handyman who just happened to stop in at dinner to come to look at the furnace. He's a healthy kind of guy and was gracious. So gracious I thought about trading my family in for a second.

CNN, I would like to take this moment to give you a true benefit of butternut squash soup.
It's called "mom's gourmet lunch all to herself the next day."

And that my friends is how you make
lemonade out of lemons
or
soup out of squash.
Whichever you prefer.

How to raise girls right.

Growing up I never understood that my friends were allowed 

to come and go with their boyfriends as they pleased.

As a parent, I am even more perplexed by the parents

who not 

only let their young daughters date,

but encourage them to do so.

It's crazy and foreign to me.

Just like my mom and dad

and LG's mom and dad,

we will stand by the no dating until 16 rule.

We want to keep our girls innocent and pure,

and have every expectation that they will

live according to God's command

and follow in our footsteps 

and save themselves

until marriage.

Read on for some really great rules to raising girls right.

Lyrics with Lessons

I recently really enjoyed this post by Cameron Smithson. Cameron used a great song to prove his point that if you want to be loved, you need to give love. You can love without being loved, but it sure does work better when it goes both ways.

Waiting

I am waiting on a phone call

that will change my life.

I don't know what it will be like to be a working mom

and I am nervous about it,

but I am also assured from mighty prayer

that God is watching over me

and will strengthen me.

I was just thinking about how much I hate waiting.

I've never been too good at waiting.

Give me my future NOW dangit.

Don't make me wait.