Yes, there is a Santa Claus

After a recent depressing blog post,

I received an outpouring of love.

It was truly a miracle.

A Christmas miracle.

I had tried not to talk about our deplorable situation.

I didn't want to be needy.

Or ungrateful.

I also didn't want to make my husband feel bad.

Because he has been busting his tail.

But when one is building his own business straight out of college,

it is rough. Really rough.

And even rougher when you have a family to support.

This has been the worst fiscal year of our lives.

And that says a lot.

Because you all know we were in law school with three kids.

And we lived on less than $18,000 a year.

For those who aren't Mormon.

You gotta know that Mormons keep a supply of food for emergencies.

Months back, we lived on that food for the first time in our married lives.

After months of living like this, I finally fell apart on my blog.

I threw it out there.

And I only threw a small portion

of the load that I had been carrying.

As to not make anyone feel bad.

Especially my husband.

Who I honor, respect, and admire.

Shortly after I threw it out there,

Miracles started to happen.

(LG sarcastically remarked that I should have begged on the blog earlier,

like when the kids needed shoes for school.)

I can't even think about some of them without crying.

For instance,

A friend I haven't spoken to in years called and asked what she could buy my girls for Christmas.

She had read the blog and felt inspired.

I am deeply grateful for all of the little miracles in 2009.

God has been good to us.

But one miracle in particular,

deserves a special mention.

A special mention

because

I met the wife of Santa Claus

when she found my blog years ago.

I would have never known Santa Claus without the blog.

Did you know that Santa really lives in Nevada?

Last week I got an e-mail from him.

The message line.

Yes, Abigail, Sophia, Bella, Caroline..there is a Santa Claus.

Along with it there was a notice to pick up a trampoline at our local Wal-Mart.

Santa's wife had read my blog.

She notified her kind and generous husband of a Christmas need.

It wasn't really a need, but a want.

A want on the Christmas list.

A want that some down and destitute parents could have never fulfilled.

And they would have never asked for help.

Because it was just a want.

And their kids had what they needed.

And the kids had become very aware that the basic necessities of life were blessing enough.

They could ask Santa for some amazing gift,

but he probably would be too busy helping some even more destitute kids in Africa.

But guess what?

Santa wasn't too busy.

And on one day of the year,

nothing was too much to want.

Because on one day of the year.

Miracles happen.

And some precious little girls in Knoxville, TN got a trampoline.

Even when their parents had told them repeatedly

that Santa had kids to feed in Africa.

And would probably be too busy.

And one very little blogger.

with a very small readership.

Got her Christmas miracle too.

Santa Claus read her blog.

And on Christmas Day,

he made her husband smile.

Really smile.

And that is all she wanted.

And she had wanted that for a very long time.

Ever since last Christmas.

But she thought Santa was too busy in Africa.

But, Santa was in Nevada.

And he not only read my blog.

But he made miracles happen at my house.

That is so like him.

I heard this song on the radio the evening of Christmas.

I bawled my eyes out.

That evening my prayer went something like this:

Give Santa a halo for me, will ya?

Oh, and send his wife a big fat kiss.

The Nine Good Things

Some people complained that I was mean to my husband by calling him anti-social two posts ago.

First, in my defense. I wasn't trying to be critical. I thought I was just stating the facts. He really is extremely introverted. He will be social and even enjoys being social with close friends and family, but even then I usually have to drag him to their parties. And Valerie Ader will attest to the fact. Since she is one of the only people who does invite us over from time to time.

I don't think it is a bad thing to understand ourselves and the people we love and to discuss things freely, and I apologize to those people who feel like I should be more private. LG is also learning to understand that being more open leads to healthier relationships.

Anyhow, after some feedback, it got me thinking of my goal to build the guy up instead of tear him down.

Yes, I fail at my goals often. And I do apologize when I do, privately and sometimes publicly. Aren't you all lucky?

So as part of my apology I would like to practice the old parenting adage that you should dish out 9 compliments for every reprimand.

Before the nine compliments though, let me make it clear that I wasn't trying to passively reprimand my husband for being anti-social. I love him just the way he is. I don't blame him for the fact that we don't have friends. In fact if the blame really lies with anyone it is with me way more than it is with him.

On with it, already.

So the nine things.

But one more distraction before the nine good things. In the spirit of full disclosure and honesty I would like to admit that my husband is far from perfect. I say that not to make him feel bad or to be critical but to make those of you out there that are mad at your husbands or dealing with a difficult marital relationship know that it's o.k. EVERYBODY on this planet has strengths and weaknesses and the beauty of marriage is that you learn to look past those things. If you are really blessed you can playfully banter about them (I read an article today describing George and Barbara Bush doing just that) And if you are really really lucky, you can watch a spouse as their weakness turns to a strength. Maybe LG will see improvement in me as he reads this nice post. That's my ulterior motive anyhow. Can you say brownie points? :)

By the way, honest is probably the one word I would pick to describe myself. The name Alice means honest - I am lamely honest. Almost like that girl in Ella Enchanted had to do what she was told...it's as if I was cursed as a child to state what I am thinking and only the truth at all times. But I am learning to turn weakness into strength. I started by not airing a single piece of LG's dirty laundry in that last paragraph; much to the relief of some of his other loved ones I am sure.

So , really, with no further ado...here are the nine things.

LG may be the only one who cares to keep reading. Oh, and LG's mom. And of course, you, John, because you want to see how capable you are as a marriage counselor.

1 The guy is smart. Really really smart.

2 He is extremely patient. (What a bonus for me)

3 He is one of the kindest individuals on the face of the planet. (When they say "oh, he would never hurt a fly", that is a lie, he would swat a fly to death, and also doesn't have too much respect for any animal he could shoot in the garden, but besides that, he wouldn't hurt a fly)
4 He is hilarious. (He promised me that he would make me laugh every day before we got married, and he has lived up to that promise except for the days that he has only made me cry, but either way he has turned my frowns upside down)
5 He is fair and ethical, not just because he is supposed to be but because he just is.
6 He is generous. (A few years back he didn't bat an eyelash when I told him to give up half his meager Christmas bonus for people who had a bigger TV than ours - and if anything has been the hardest for him in his new law practice, it has been learning to tell people that he can't work for free)
7 He is an amazing father. A - MAZ - ING in capital letters.
8 He is a prodigy in the field of electronic gadgets and random musical instruments.
9 The thing that I have loved the most about him lately is that he is willing to admit when he is wrong and he is trying very hard to change.

But it isn't wrong to be anti-social and therefore I wouldn't feel like saying that is being critical.

And while I am still in my own defense. There may be only a handful of people as righteous as Job throughout all world history.

Olive the other Reindeer

Wow...that last post was a doozy.

Thanks to those of you who responded in all sorts of ways.

Like asking me for my forgiveness after it made you mad.

Calling and offering gifts....I am going to have a great story to tell after Christmas

(remember my kids read my blog)

And especially to those of you that are still my friend after that epic swear word.

Thanks especially for your prayers.

The girls got their dog and they are so very happy.

Reflection

I recently have felt some bad mojo with myself.

That probably doesn't even make sense.

It has to do with the fact that my husband has been in a cave for over a month.

And that I didn't get that solo in the church choir.

And I wasn't invited to THAT party.

And I have gained 15 pounds since the baby has been born.

And I am sleep deprived.

And my kids have been sick on and off ever since school started.

And tonight to top off all insults, the shelter wouldn't let us take that darn dog home. They have to clear us with our veterinarian. I cannot even imagine the whaling that is gonna happen when our kids can't get that dog named Fiesta tomorrow because we missed Kitty Bears vaccines one year.

Hmm...what else can I come up with?

Oh, we don't have very many friends because our house is in shambles and nobody likes to come over here when we can go to their nice beautiful well decorated homes. But they don't really invite us over. (No this is NOT to make you feel bad...you three friends who know who you are)

Or maybe we don't have any friends because I am overly obnoxious and my husband is about as anti-social as you can get.

My husband has been a business owner and a lawyer for over 18 months and HE HATES IT!

And I hate it that he hates it.

And we have never been so poor.

And we wanted to get that dog because it was a cheaper option than the trampoline.

And Santa can't disappoint three darling little girls who want nothing but a dog for Christmas.

And it's a good thing because they aren't going to get much more than that.

If they even get that. Because the shelter apparently doesn't want to send dogs to good and loving homes.

And now my husband is on the phone and I remembered that he chipped a tooth today.

And I gotta call the dentist tomorrow.

Man, I was just happy yesterday when I realized we had freed up $125 a month because we had finally paid off my dental work.

And I am glad that he is still breathing because he has been breaking out in hives on and off for over three weeks.

He told me he is like Job.

But he probably isn't as righteous.

So I hope his stress will go away soon.

Because the only reason he is still doing this is because we think that is what God wanted.

Surely, He is gonna say, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant" very soon and maybe if we get really lucky He will add "now go and get a real job with a consistent paycheck."

Back to me.

Maybe my problem with my bad mojo is that I haven't been blogging?

I need somewhere to get it all out there.

But I can't blog easily because my desktop died and I am using a laptop that doesn't access my pictures very easily.

Oh, and did I tell you how horrible it is that my laptop is set up on a makeshift table that is blocking me from getting to my tupperware?

Yeah, THAT tupperware...the table is right in front of my dishwasher. And my dishwasher is where I keep my tupperware because my dishwasher hasn't been used in over a year because it is broken.

I am not trying to get sympathy here.

I swear.

I am just getting it out there.

Because once I type it out, it's like it all goes away.

And I forget that my kitchen counters are covered with dirty dishes that I just can't find the will to wash tonight.

But this year, I have truly learned gratitude.

I know it doesn't sound like it, but really,

I am grateful that I have dishes to eat from.

And food to eat.

And a laptop that works.

And that it can hook up to the Internet.

So that I can get it all out of my system.

And who cares about that stupid solo, or that party, or those pounds.

I am a daughter of God.

And He loves me.

And he provides me with my necessities.

Sometimes that's ALL he provides.

But, as they sang on Glee last night.

We can't always get what we want, but we get what we need.

Oh yeah, my brother really got onto me for watching that show.

Because if I was just more righteous.

The other night, at our church Christmas party,

I was discussing with a girl her dream of becoming a chef.

I wondered out loud, what my dream would be that I could maybe pursue someday.

She said, "I bet it will have something to do with your blog."

I bet she is right.

Everybody needs a dream.

It makes you feel happy.

And it makes you focus.

And mine happens to help me get it all out there.

And if you are still reading this.

Maybe my dream has some merit.

Because somehow you relate.

And that is the magic of a good writer.

And she may be a better singer.

And her a better hostess.

And she a better crafty - er person.

And her skinnier.

And her more beautiful.

And heck, there are plenty of girls out there with more hits on their blog.

But, one person is gonna read this and feel better.

And that's all I could ask for.

Dammit.....five misspells.

Maybe I will find another dream.

Can't you just wait for my Christmas card?