But I don't wanna

Living a life on faith is not for the weak or faint of heart.
It is not easy.
In fact, it may be the hardest thing we are required to do.
Actually, I think I can safely say it is the hardest thing we will ever do.
Not just in this life, but in our whole existence.
This life is the test.
Are we going to trust that God has a plan for us or not?
Are we going to prove that we will be strong no matter what he throws our way?

As I mentioned, I have been feeling the need to be home more with the kids. We originally thought that we would be able to move to make up the difference in our income loss if I quit my job, but it looks like God is not only asking me to quit, but also asking us to stay in our home for now. Double whammy.

I gave my two weeks notice at work yesterday. I don't know how we are going to make it financially except to say that we have a year supply of wheat and I know how to make bread.

God is giving me an opportunity to master the finances. I am about to become even more frugal then I thought was possible.

That's putting it nicely.

What I really feel is what I said in my prayers last night.

"No God. I don't want to do this. I've already been poor. I'm sick of being poor. I trusted you last time when you told us to go to law school with three kids and then open a failed law practiced, and look where that got me. I don't want to do this. Why?"

And the answer comes: "Because you have more to learn."

and then

"And this time it's going to be easier and it's going to have a better ending. Just trust me."

Me:
But I don't wanna.

Last night, I closed my prayer in tears, not feeling any peace. Sick to death for Boston. And worried sick for the little girl that was abducted in Provo.

And then today, I made my depressed self get out of bed and pray again.

"Please God, just get me through today. Help me trust. Give me peace. Bless them all."

I head out on my run with a heavy heart.

And 2.5 miles in, my song comes on.

And I remember where I have to look for peace.

As I warm down, I get this news:

And God says

ever so humbly

"See I've got this Alice."

My job

This weekend the message came to me for the thousandth time.
It was a clear as a bell, like it always is when I stop to listen.
It was an answer to my two pages of questions to God.

It came from Bruce D. Porter and was entitled Beautiful Mornings.

I do this every 6 months. I write down all the life struggles that I am having in form of questions to God and then I spend a whole weekend listening to living prophets, and I listen for the answers. They always come through the gift of the Holy Ghost. God whispers them directly to my soul. This time there were 18 specific answers all small parts to my journey back to Him, and all connected to one another.

My questions varied from how can I afford to go back to college to should we move to a cheaper place to save money. How can I strengthen my marriage? What is my life mission and how do I accomplish it? How can I be happy in my calling? (I meant my job at church but had no idea until I listened intently that I also needed this answer for my calling in life)

All the answers pointed to my most important title: mom

Pleasing God needs to be my first priority. When I make pleasing God the top priority in my heart, my husband and children rightfully earn their places at the top of my to-do lists. If pleasing God means that I have to quit my job and live on rice and beans, so be it. If it means that I don't get to go back to school for another year or two, it's o.k. I need to live my life on God's timetable and with his rules because He is where I will find the greatest happiness. If I never get the dream house or the coveted vacation because I limped through hubby's law school and supported him through the aftermath (and beyond - for the next 40 years of student loan payments) and encourage my children's extra-curriculars it will be to my glory: eventually.

For me the answer is always that MY JOB is to nurture my children and support my husband. My job is to let go of my need for approval in the eyes of others. I have to let go of the Western culture of acquiring wealth. I even have to let go of my need to achieve certain things because if I am doing it for me and not for Him, it's wrong. It'll never be right no matter how wonderful.

It's so ironic that after recommitting myself and finding inner peace,
my beautiful morning looks like this:

"Mom, do you know what this is?

It's my job to do."

"Mom, move out of my way!

.....

I'm looking for something important.

Can you help me find it?"

Who knew inner peace would be so loud?

or rainy?

and disguised 

as one mess after another

for me to clean?

Once again I am brought to my knees.

Please God, help me to understand.

Help me be humble.

Help me love my job.

Help it to make me happy.

And I just found this on facebook and must include it

for my Mormon friends.

I guess things could always be worse.

Book Review: Parenting with Spiritual Power

Parenting with Spiritual Power by Julie K. Nelson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

You know the old philosophy that parenting doesn't come with a manual?
Well, it's crap.
If you have The Holy Bible, you have one of the greatest parenting manuals in existence.

If you add to the Bible, the Book of Mormon, and the teachings of the living prophets, and you are still struggling as a parent, Julie K. Nelson has written this book just for you. I have been so touched as I have read this book: God has given us great stories to help us with the most important work we are called to do as parents. If you, like me, need help in applying those resources, then you need to get your hands on a copy of this book ASAP. It is truly an inspired parenting manual.

I have long studied principles of parenting and found many of the most important theories I've learned over the years in the pages of this book. Truth just oozes from the pages of "Parenting with Spiritual Power." Oozes. As I read I found myself amazed at how many modern-day applications there are in the ancient scriptures. I know that sounds lame, but it's true. I have learned a lot of these truths already in my own study, but to find them gathered together in such an easily applicable format is almost too good to be true: but it's not. This book is full of truth in one easy-to-read resource.

If you want to learn more about depositing into your children's banks of self-worth, setting reasonable boundaries, how to positively correct your children, live sacrificial lives, stomp out anger and develop greater charity as a family, and how to show faith in your children this book is for you. Like me, I believe you will be totally shocked at all you've been missing when studying the scriptures. I've had the handbook in my hands all along, I just didn't realize that I needed Julie Nelson to translate it for me.

Thank you Julie. I recommend this book for all parents, even those that aren't Mormon. What a wonderful and much needed resource for all of us.

You can buy the book for just $11.04 at Amazon or $13.99 at Deseret Book. After reading this book I can honestly say I would spend double that. Really, can we even put a price on better parenting?

View all my reviews

Book Review: Gaze Into Heaven

I love this book SO much that I am giving away a copy. 

Leave me a comment with your e-mail address

and tell me which one of your family members 

you are most anxious to meet in the next life

and I will pick one VERY lucky person 

to get their own free copy.

Giveaway closes on Friday the 15th at 11:59 p.m.

Disclaimer: I received a book in exchange for this review

but my opinions are always true and 100% right.

Gaze Into Heaven: Near-Death Experiences in Early Church History
by
Marlene Bateman Sullivan

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is the best book that
I have read in several years.
It has completely
changed the way

I view my mortal life.

I have sincerely

become a better

person just by

reading this book.

All of my Mormon friends
MUST READ this book.
And even you non-Mormons
will find this absolutely fascinating.

Gaze into Heaven is a book of complied true near death stories organized in a way that is easy to read. Each chapter is a piece of the after-life puzzle answering individual questions like what is a spirit body like and are there cities in paradise? What a wonderful compilation of early church (Mormon) history this is. The stories are eerily similar. Maybe eerily is the wrong word - I found it absolutely testimony building that all the accounts concurred with one another. "By the mouth or two or more witnesses" and witness they did.

These people who died and went to the other side and came back to tell us what they experienced did not know one another, but as I read their accounts I was stunned at the similarities. As I read the pages my life-long fear of dying dissipated. These Mormon pioneers described the freedom they felt as their spirits separated from their bodies, the joy they felt in the world with other kindred spirits, and the peace they felt in their passing and I found myself looking forward to the experience. For me that is a huge breakthrough. I cannot even explain my phobia of dying, its been debilitating at times. I am truly grateful to Marlene for writing this book and helping me have a greater understanding of my life now and into the eternities.

This book has power in its pages. After getting acquainted with just the first few chapters I felt like I was on hallowed ground just viewing the cover. I didn't even have to open it to feel inspired although I did as frequently as was possible in receiving this balm to my soul. These stories are sacred like the temple and I am so grateful they have been shared.

Buy the book in the stores or online at 

Seagull or Deseret Book or Amazon.

Go to Marlene's website to learn more about the author.

Here is one of Marlene's favorite quotes in the book from the experience of Thomas S. Thomas. 

Thomas' story was one of my favorites also.

Thomas describes what he learned in his near-death experience in the spirit world.

"All mental powers were restored. The fond memories of the past returned...your soul is endowed with wisdom and knowledge and filled with everlasting love...Distance is no barrier to transmit thought without instruments, or to travel under your own power. Your vision is magnified there; your future view is plain; desire for knowledge is inexhaustible; you are master of yourself  intelligence is the key to all realms which makes an endless trail to all advancement and is a place of satisfaction and joy to the soul... 

The grand greeting you first receive is from your closest of kin - father, mother, brother and sisters - and all that are near and dear to you who passed from earthly life and arrived in the Great Beyond before you. Your nearest and dearest friends and many others come to greet and converse with you. They ask about the conditions of their kin, those whom you were acquainted with on earth, and all are anxious to learn of their kin's surroundings and conditions. You will find this a great meeting place of all souls, where information is eagerly sought, concerning earth's conditions, by those who have passed from earthly life and are in this stage of existence. These souls are now busy, in the future existence, working in different habitations. Many are from different spheres. All souls are fully enjoying their positions and surroundings. You read from their cheerful countenances a condition of contentment.."

View all my reviews 

My own worst enemy

I've been reading the most excellent book

called

Gaze Into Heaven.

(review coming soon)

It chronicles near-death

experiences of Mormon pioneers

and it has been life altering for me

as I have pondered

the after-life.

What will it be like for

me to meet my maker

and account for mortality?

I really really hope that

the good outweighs the bad.

As I recently talked with a friend

who has anorexia,

we discussed

how we all seem

to just transfer

one bad behavior to the next.

She started struggling with anorexia

when she was overcoming

a spending problem.

I can't seem to be disciplined

enough to stay under budget

while also staying under calorie allotment.

And forget being happy and kind

and under budget and under calorie.

It's going to take me a lifetime

to conquer all of the above

at the same time.

But this morning

while running

I had an epiphany.

It comes from

The Book of Mormon

Mosiah 3:19

19 For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.

Like a ton of bricks

it hit me all at once.

My mortal body

is my own worst enemy.

My whole purpose 

on this earth

is to show that my spirit

can be in charge

of my body.

My body is dead

without my spirit.

My spirit (me) is what makes 

me (my body) do or not do anything.

When I struggle with stuff

it's not my spirit,

it's the flesh.

The flesh is naughty.

The spirit is perfect.

They are always at odds

with one another.

"Hey body Alice

quit eating so much."

"Shut up spirit Alice,

you're so goody-goody.

We're gonna

eat drink and be merry til we die."

"Bad idea body Alice,

your spirit

wants to have its glorified form

and it knows a whole lot

more than you do.

I'm smarter.

I'm better

and my whole goal 

is to make you perfect.

I'm in charge

so put that doughnut down.

NOW."

The flesh is weak,

the spirit is strong.

This may seem so simple

to you all,

but it is an epic

principle

that I aim

to use

from now on

when trying to conquer

my transfer of

bad behaviors.

When my flesh is weak

I plan to tap into

that strong strong strong

spirit

and I plan to utilize

the God of all spirits

to help me 

whip that body into shape

more often.

Sharing Time - I want to follow Jesus

Post number 1400 today.

My blog has evolved.

I love its ability to share information

on all levels.

Today I am working on

Sharing Time

for Primary.

I get to teach 50

3-8 year olds

all at once

and try to keep their attention.

I can't wait.

I just got done creating this coloring page.

At the end of the lesson,

the kids will get to

express what they've learned

in the way they like best:

coloring with crayons

Before they draw,

I will be playing with them.

We'll sing

Do As I'm Doing

and

play a matching game

while standing up

and sitting down.

They will learn

about the above 5 portraits

from Christ's life

and how Jesus Christ

set an example for us

and taught us all things that

we should do.

The list is endless

but we will focus on

working, being baptized, teaching, praying, and serving.

I love Jesus Christ

my Savior

and I love

that I belong to a His church

where the focus is

teaching and learning

at all ages.

And most of all

I love that I belong to a church

that knows

the best way for us to learn

is 

for us

to teach.

Drop me a comment

or an e-mail

and I will send

you the

word doc.

Hide Yo Girls

The other day Abigail was hanging out in her cami.

She kept trying to push it.

A few weeks ago, 

I told the girls they could wear their camis to bed

for comfort if they wanted.

LeGrand had enough and laid down the law.

"No more camis!

Before I know it,

you're going to be

wearing them outside too."

He told Abigail to go to her room and put on a shirt, "Now." She wasn't moving. He said, "You better get to it, or I am going to start stripping down right now, one piece of clothing at a time." I was cracking up. I told her to call dad on his bluff. There was no way he was going buck naked.

He got both his shirt off and his undershirt,

and took his belt off.

When he started unzipping his pants,

she ran off screaming

in horror.

I laughed and laughed and laughed.

LG put his shirts back on.

He was feeling all exposed,

especially since Abigail made fun of his bare body.

Or should I say bear body?

We don't believe in letting our daughters as hoochie mamas.
We want to keep them sweet and innocent for as long as possible: their whole lives preferably.

I was raised the same way. I am not going to lie. I hated it. As a teenager, I fought my parents on it daily. One time my mom tore a dress that I was wearing in two (right in front of my boyfriend) because she was sick of tired of me wearing things that were too short. (I hope my sister has forgiven me by now, it was her dress) I bought my own bikinis and wore them when my mom wasn't looking. I washed them myself and hid them away in the back of my drawers. I wanted to be like all the other girls. My brothers seemed pretty keen on making sure my sister and I dress modestly too, which we didn't understand because they were perfectly fine dating the girls who didn't really cover up. I now understand they were being protective.

And you know what? WE ABSOLUTELY SHOULD BE PROTECTIVE.

Some people may think that our modesty policy is a little absurd, but do you know what? I don't care.

While most of my girlfriends were having sex in high school and some ended up pregnant, I proudly stayed a virgin until I was married. I am glad that I did. I never regret that decision. Not a day in my life have I felt like I made the wrong choice. I want for my girls to be chaste and make the same choice to remain abstinent until they are married. And yes, dressing modestly has a direct correlation.


I love my sweet sweet girls.
I love that they are pretty good about dressing modestly.
They seem to get the principle that modesty provides protection.

I want them to love themselves for who they are
amazing daughters of God.
They truly can 
change the world
just by being 
a source of light.

Fellowship

I just put this little diddy

together

as I am going

visiting teaching

today.

I made it in Microsoft Word

but couldn't get it

the same in Paint,

but I guess

it's close enough

for you to the get the picture.

I am now off on my run

and I will be pondering

this month's

visiting teaching message

about

conversion.

The quote above

by

Elder Ballard

is the part

I liked the most.

Fellow-shipping

is tricky

when you live in

the state of Utah

and I am ashamed to

say that I have

kind of given up

on making friends.

I am going to try harder.

I also loved the quote by

President Hinckley

 “we must make an increasingly substantial effort to assist them as they find their way. Every one of them needs three things: a friend, a responsibility, and nurturing with ‘the good word of God’.

Back in the days

when I was the

President

of the

Relief Society

this was the theme

of our work.

We wanted

all the sisters in our ward

to have

1- a friend,

2- a responsibility,

and

3 - nourishment with the

good word of God.

I miss the days

when I got to serve

alongside

other women in

the Relief Society.

Those are some

of my most

cherished

friendships

and I find

that I don't make

as many friends

when I am stuck

in a church calling that

is fully autonomous.

I have that much.

Faith is important to me.

I've discussed it before

here, here, here, and here.

Faith has carried me through a lot of stuff.

One of those above links

was when my husband failed the bar exam.

That was tough.

Here is how faith

influenced me

as a small child.

The story is also

a fun reminiscence

of my crazy dad

and how he jimmy-rigged

and stole (I mean borrowed)

a truck to get our

station wagon out of the mud.

So my latest trial of faith may be the hardest trial I've ever faced. It's not something I can really blog about because to reveal it would not be fair to others, but it's tough. Trust me, it's really tough, so tough I can't talk about it on my blog. ( And you all know I talk about everything from moobs, my body, crying myself to sleep, and even the horrible botched farce on breastfeeding.) So it's tough and it reminds me that everyone is fighting their own hard battle, whether or not they share it.

Anyhow, I was praying about this trial last week. It was one of those big prayers in my life that I will always remember. For me it was huge on two levels. It was huge because I decided to do it after a long prideful prayer hiatus. {shame on me} And it was huge because I poured my heart out to my Heavenly Father as though he really was my Father listening and that He cared and that He would help me. I bawled like a baby and questioned, "Why?" Even if we aren't supposed to ask "why", I did. (This is one of my favorite addresses on trusting in the Lord and talks about not asking why) I needed to know WHY does this have to be my life when I have tried so very hard for the last 20 years to do everything right for God.

The answer came (like it always does eventually) two-fold. The answer was first a thought in my mind. "I have this trial so I will pray." This trial is so hard that it always brings me to my knees out of desperation and God allows this in my life because He knows I will be happier with Him in my life.

The second answer came from the words out of my own mouth.

"Father, you've said in your scriptures that if we have the faith of a mustard seed, we can move mountains. Well, I sometimes struggle with my faith, but I know I have that much. I have at least as much as a mustard seed."

I saw in my mind, my Father in Heaven, the most omnipotent being ever. All knowing, all powerful, and all loving, he let go of his embrace from this wailing child, he nodded at me and said, "Yes, you do. Well done. Now hold on Alice, we're gonna move this mountain on my time."

Faith is my greatest treasure. I hope I always keep at least a mustard seed worth.

Thanks to the book Cold Sassy Tree for another take on faith and answered prayers.
{SPOILER ALERT}



I'll publish my book review on Cold Sassy Tree next week.
It's a new all time favorite.


Here is some spiritual enlightenment on how to use the supernal gift of prayer. Really really good stuff.

There is Hope

Does love really hurt?

No.

The lack of love does.

Love is the best feeling that exists.

It's more than a feeling.

It's a state of mind.

And nothing is better than love.

Nothing.

I love someone very much.

That person keeps hurting me.

Repeatedly.

I go to God in prayer

and ask Him to release me

from the hurt.

Release me from the pain.

"Please," I beg.

I don't want to hurt anymore.

I don't want to let myself not be loved.
I want out of it.
Let me out.

This morning I got the same answer

I keep getting.
I've been getting it for years.

Hang on. Hold on thy way.

Keep on keeping on.

Be patient.

Stand by.

Be loyal.

Love.

Even if it hurts.

Do as I do.

Be strong.

Oh, and by the way Alice,

you aren't the best at

loving either.

So maybe you can

change too

while I give the other person

the same answer in your behalf.

That's how God loves.

I wish I was more like Him.
I hope I can be.

You know who you are.
This song is for you.
I'm sorry.
I will try to love better.

When I get done praying
and pouring my heart out.
God doesn't shame me.
He tells me there is always hope.
For all of us.

Book Review: Before the Dawn

Before the Dawn by Dean Hughes
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I forgot how much I love Dean Hughes as an author. I haven't read anything of his in quite sometime, but I am so glad that I found this book at the local library. It was so touching and inspiring.

This historical fiction book, even though focused on the LDS women's organization called Relief Society, can be enjoyed by people of all faiths. The greater story told is the power of womanhood, and the importance of community: loving and caring for one another. Community works best when it consists of people who all want to give but are willing to humble themselves to take once in a while too.

I cried a lot while reading this book. I took an emotional journey with the fictional small Utah town during the Great Depression. I personally related to the main character: a hard-nosed independent stick her foot in her mouth Relief Society President. In the book she was described by a friend as a coconut: all hard on the outside but all milk/meat on the inside. I also related a lot to many of the other women in the book: the ones living in poverty, the ones living with means, and especially the ones living in desperation.

Mostly this book made me proud to be a part of the greatest women's organization in the world: The Relief Society. It reminded me of so much good that is accomplished world-wide and it brought to the surface of my heart all the good that has been done in my personal life because of my associations with good women.

I highly recommend this book to be read by all women everywhere. I love how Hughes always ties in his historical facts so well. I mostly love how he masterfully tells stories of humanity. The characters in this book will stay with me for a long time. I hope they will whisper to me in the moments when I need to be reminded to let down my pride, to reach out and help others, and especially when I need to try and understand better my enemies.

View all my reviews

Book Review: 10 Questions to Answer While Preparing for a Mission

I did receive a copy of this book in exchange for my review, 
but like always I gave you my honest opinion.

10 Questions to Answer While Preparing for a Mission by Benjamin Hyrum White
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This little how-to book should be given to every perspective Mormon missionary long before they serve. It is full of nuggets of wisdom from the author (who also teaches seminary), church leaders, and scripture. It is a great guide that can be followed with ease. As a returned missionary, I absolutely agree with everything that is preached from its pages and I look forward to gifting my copy to my soon-to-serve nephew or niece, if I can stand to part with it. I may have to buy them their own copy and I am sure it won't be the last. (Can I just input here how much I love how recent church policy changes have made it as likely for one of my neices in college to serve a mission as it is for my nephew who is a freshman at BYU?)

At $9 it would also make a perfect companion for that tie you already bought for your future missionary. The book can be useful for young people who need to hear what is expected of them: to be worthy to serve someday. It will also be equally helpful to those serving: reminding them of their great privilege and duty to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ and how to really measure their success even if they never baptize anyone. And last but not least it contains helpful hints to the returned missionary: get a job, go to college, endure to the end.

I rarely give a 4 star rating to books that I've been invited to review, but this one absolutely deserves it. I assume that the market for this paperback is a little smaller than most being that it is written for LDS missionaries, so that means that I need to be that much more adamant in telling you that every missionary needs a copy (even those senior couples.) It really is full of great advice and one will feel the spirit of God testifying of its wisdom as they read. What more could an author hope for? Well done, Brother White.

You can purchase the book at Deseret Book,
Seagull Book (sorry Seagull couldn't find a link), or Amazon.

View all my reviews

Here's a little bit more about the author:

Benjamin Hyrum White was born and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area. He labored in the Colorado Denver North Mission and was employed at the MTC during college. Ben met his wife, Keenan, while they both were dancing with the International Folk Dance Ensemble at BYU. They each graduated from BYU with a degree in Family Science. Brother White is a seminary teacher and recently received his master's degree in religious education from BYU, where he wrote the history of Preach My Gospel. Ben and Keenan reside in Orem, Utah, with their four children.

When Tragedy Strikes

I feel. I feel deep. It is part of who I am. I have no way around it. I am a sensitive person. I am pretty sure I get it from my mom. I cry at the drop of a hat. I really should be an actress. So, when tragedy strikes, it kind of knocks me out for a bit. It really knocks me out. I have to give myself cognitive therapy so that I don't succumb to the warmth of the sheets in my bed. I have to distract myself. I even lie to myself if necessary. Most of all I have to get some answers.

I think because I feel, I have chosen God consistently throughout my life. I need somewhere to go when nothing makes sense and let's face it, there is a lot that doesn't make sense.

Like other people though, I usually vacillate in my own incompetence for a bit before I turn to God. I am trying to change that, but I guess I can take comfort in the fact that at least I get to God at some point. A lot of people don't have the same luxury.

So after the CT shooting last Friday, these were my reactions, put out there for everyone and their dog to see. Oh the evil of social media. It really shows one's true colors.

This should not still be happening. Give me your best solutions for the safety of our children. Serious. I am writing Congress. I am so heartbroken.

I refuse to read more than one news report about the shooting. 
I suggest you all do the same.

Use your energy to make the world a better place.

We have the highest obligation to protect the children. The American citizens demand that every school has two armed trained military personnel on guard every day. Repost if you agree.

Pondering again on the words of Mormon leader Dallin H Oaks spoken to the world that would listen just two months ago:

Although I do not speak in terms of politics or public policy, like other Church leaders, I cannot speak for the welfare of children without implications for the choices being made by citizens, public officials, and workers in private organizations. We are all under the Savior’s 

command to love and care for each other and especially for the weak and defenseless.

Children are highly vulnerable. They have little or no power to protect or provide for themselves and little influence on so much that is vital to their well-being. Children need others to speak for them, and they need decision makers who put their well-being ahead of selfish adult interests.

I know one amazing 12-year-old angel with open arms and the most tender heart who is probably cuddling up with some kindergartners tonight and that brings good tears to my eyes. Love you Braxton Wills!

How about we train gun sniffing dogs to guard every school? I seriously can't stop obsessing for an answer. I grieve by taking action.

Trying to press forward by going out to a movie but it's hard to move forward when so many fellow Americans are in mourning. God bless.

It just occurred to me that God had even more reason to be in public schools on Friday. I am sure He held each of those victims in the palm of His hand and hugged them as He told them they would never again have to feel pain.

See how I vacillate? I ended off with this:

Love. Peace. Joy. This world is overcome and the next will have no heartache.

And this: Must read! So touching.

twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.
their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.
they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.
they were filled wit

h such joy, they didn't know what to say.
they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
"where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
"this is heaven." declared a small boy. "we're spending Christmas at God's house."
when what to their wondering eyes did appear,
but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
then He opened His arms and He called them by name.
and in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
those children all flew into the arms of their King
and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.
and as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."
then He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe
then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
"Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"
"may this country be delivered from the hands of fools"
"I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"
then He and the children stood up without a sound.
"come now my children, let me show you around."
excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
and i heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
"in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."

Written by Cameo Smith, Mt. Wolf, PA

The only place for peace is God. I don't know why it takes me so long to figure that out every time tragedy strikes. I am stubborn. Hard-headed. Prideful. A natural woman. Eventually I'll get there without vacillation, but at least I am aware of my tendency, and that is the first step towards fixing it.

So, as I hold onto God as tight as I can today. I write this.

I am proud to say that my kids went off to school today just like any other day. I am not mother of the year, far from it, but I made a choice a long time ago to limit the media into my home. We don't have any TV but Netflix and it makes all the difference. They know something tragic happened and we have prayed for CT, but my babies went off to school today feeling safe. And that is all a mother can do. If by chance some awful thing ever does happen to them, all I want them to have is a feeling of safety and security and love up to the very moment of the unspeakable.

I thank others who have helped me make sense of it all.

Two links were particularily helpful. 

This one gives a plea for the mentally ill.

And my hubby sent me here where he was able to convince me that the answer is not about gun control

or even about guarding our schools. 

The answer my friends is the same answer for all other woes in our life:

Trust in God.

Evil has always been around. Awful things happen every day. We are no worse off today then yesterday. In fact, we are better off because we don't live in a war-torn country. We as Americans freak out when tragedy strikes, but tragedy strikes much more frequently in other parts of the world.

So what can I do?

I can trust in God.

How can I trust in God?

I can continue to pray with my family.

We can read our scriptures and let God's word work in our lives.

We can limit the crooked media's influence in our homes.

We can show compassion to others.

We can stop having stigmas towards the mentally ill.

We can reach out to our neighbors who may be struggling.

We can love more deeply.

We can quit fighting over politics.

And that is what I resolve to do.

And because I have a new resolve, 

I can be grateful to God for the reminder, 

even if it's in the form of an awful tragedy.

My Brother's Take on Mormon Feminism

There has been a lot of talk lately

about a movement of

anti-Mormons

who have penetrated the active church-body

by inviting the women to wear pants to church this Sunday.

I'm privvy to these things because I live in Utah.

It was on the front page of the paper.

LG read part of the article to me

when he was home for lunch

the other day.

We discussed the stupidity of it.

Women have always been able to

wear pants to church.

Why would any woman

want to be a Bishop?

We laughed.

Then LG made my day.

"Alice you look so sexy in a skirt."

So I posted this on facebook.

Feminist Mormons are planning a "wear slacks to church day" 

to celebrate the similarities between women and men. 

I'd rather celebrates our differences. 

Besides my husband thinks I look hot in a skirt. 

If that means I'm objectified, so be it.

It got a discussion going.

Perhaps my favorite part of the discussion

was my ultra-conservative, gun-slinging, Limbaugh-loving,

football-coaching, huge-dog owning, Idaho-dwelling

brother saying this:

(for my non-Mormon friends -

this first question is what is asked of 

the members to determine

worthiness to attend the temple)

(YM is short of Young Men

YW is short for Young Women)

• Erick Wills Do you support, affiliate with, or agree with any group or individual whose teachings or practices are contrary to or oppose those accepted by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?

  Yesterday at 9:15am · Like
• 

  Alice Wills Gold Erick Wills, the answer is no, but I do have an opinion about giving the YW the same budget as the YM. 

  Yesterday at 9:27am via mobile · Like
• 

  Erick Wills I am good with that. My opinion and what we did in my ward when I was over finances was the YW had a bigger budget. Crafts cost more than firewood.

• Alice Wills Gold Who woulda thought Erick Wills is a feminist?

  23 hours ago via mobile · Like
• 

  Erick Wills No, I am an equal differencialist. The sexes are different and should be treated as such, just not lesser or greater.

Yes, feminist crazed ladies,

the men of the church

are not anti-women.

In fact,

they are 

what my brother calls

equal diffrencialists.

I am proud to say

that I now

have a great term to describe

what I am too:

an

equal diffrentialist.

And so is 

this Mormon scholar.

She touches on some deep

Mormon doctrine here

and I loved her article.

I'm so grateful for the women of the church

who magnify their callings

and bless the lives of my daughters.

Here are some recent photos

that Sister Seale

e-mailed

of Sophia and her buddies

at their 

female only

activity days

held

every other week.

I love how these photos

showcase what we teach

Godly girls.

Choose the right.

Be modest.

Be tough.

Be beautiful.

It's crazy to me
that scorned
women can
find these things
wrong.

I don't want my daughters
to be anything
but
equal diffrentialists.

And trust me,

no woman

should ever want to

be in Cub Scouts instead.

I know,

I've been a Scout leader

three different times

in my

"mom only to daughters"

lifetime.