Daddy's Baby

I guess LG had been trying 

to grow his hair out again.

I hadn't noticed

until a few days ago he

lamented to me,

"Alice, I forget how far back

my hair has receded

until I grow it out."

Bad for LG.

Good for me.

I love his hair buzzed.

Imagine my surprise

today

when Caroline

brought this photo to me

and said,

"Mom this is so strange.

Dad doesn't have pokey hair."

LG I guess

you are going to have to 

keep

your

hokey pokey

style.

We're you trying

to grow it out

at hopes of

revisiting

those newlywed days?

Better luck next time.

2013 goals or Going for the Gold

I've been trying to finalize my 2013 goals.

Even though I gave myself a C last year,

I am an absolute believer in the adage

"goals that are not written down are just wishes."

While at Ikea on our date Saturday

LG and I came up with a winning idea

on how to motivate our family

towards betterment.

Money is a pure motivator

for all of us,

so we are going to reward ourselves

with GOLD.

We decided on family Olympics

for 2013.

Or as LG says,

"We're having family hunger games."

Everyone will get to put their names

in a pot in a once a week drawing

for 5 gold coins.

We will all earn chances in the pot

by accomplishing

our 5 personal and 5 family goals daily.

(That's up to 70 shots a week)

Unlike hunger games,

we want our names in the pot.

The more we accomplish our goals,

the better chance we have to win a gold coin (or 5).

Our theme is

"Go for the Gold."

Get it.

We're the Gold's.

We're so funny.

I am super excited about

the 5 rings of improvement.

LG and I narrowed our desires for our kids into

5 categories:

spiritual, mental, physical, emotional, and financial.

(See the above photo)

Here are the goals

we came up with as a family

in each category.

Some of these goals are going to be easier than others.

Reading should be a cinch.

Believe it or not

I think sharing feelings

might be harder (especially for some)

 than daily scripture study.

The kids are already up in arms

about the soda

but I love that they will still have the choice.

If they drink soda,

they lose a shot at a dollar.

If it were up to us

we'd take it away all together

but this way we make the point

without taking away their agency.

I am super excited about

seeing how this family challenge

will pan out.

I hope to win a few bucks along the way

and I think this may

have the "fun" factor

to keep us motivated all year.

Anyhow,

I am sure you have all been dying

to see what my goals are for

2013.

With no further ado,

by category

we go.

Financial

1.Save a $1 a day toward family vacation.

2.Stay under budget.

Emotional

1.Journal/study/meditate daily before doing anything else.

2.No phone in bed.

3.Give a meaningful inspired service weekly.

Physical

1.Use myfitnesspal every day until I weigh under 160 pounds.

2 Keep running 3x/week.

3.Run 2 half marathons (unless I get pregnant)
4. Add in a fourth workout every week. Something other than running.

Spiritual

1.Pray every day.

2.Temple once a month (take Abigail with 4x)

3.Organize family genealogy.

Mental

1.Learn a new word every day. 

(I discovered a cool app for this)

2.Go back to school,

even if it's just one class.

3.Write every day

(blog/outline of novel)

4.Read 100 books

(adding in 1 junior non-fiction

to regular reading goals)

Marital

1.Bond every night.

(Communicate regularly)

2.Go to bed and wake up together.

It's lofty, I know,

but if I only get a C,

I will still have accomplished twice

as much as if I had never written anything down.

My OCD side really loves fresh starts.

Just think, we have one every day.

Race #2

The whole family participated in a 5k together.

I would say it was our first, but LG did one last year with all the girls.

Caroline didn't join us this time.

We got a sitter.

It was a great time

and we appreciated the chance to have some family fun

while exercising AND helping raise money for the kids school.

Have I ever told you how much I love my man?

Thanks LG for supporting me in my crazy adventures.

It was a small race,

but Abigail was 14th overall.

If she would have passed one female

she would have won a top 3 prize.

Funny she doesn't really "run" persay,

but soccer really is a great sport for overall athleticism.

Next year Abigail's goal will be to beat Ms. Shepherd

who was 2 minutes faster than her.

I was happy with my time.

32:35.

That is almost a two minute improvement 

from my first race in January.

I'll take it!

Little Miss Sophia came in 6 places behind me.

At the beginning of the race she was sticking right with me,

I thought she would beat me,

but all my training brought me in 5 minutes ahead of her.

LG was the best dad and stayed with Bella the whole way.

At the end I ran back to them

and offered to carry Bella up the hill

but LG said "NO WAY ALICE -

She has to finish by herself."

What a smart dad.

This is what we all looked like at the finish.

Go Gold family.

Go here for official race results.

How to raise girls right.

Growing up I never understood that my friends were allowed 

to come and go with their boyfriends as they pleased.

As a parent, I am even more perplexed by the parents

who not 

only let their young daughters date,

but encourage them to do so.

It's crazy and foreign to me.

Just like my mom and dad

and LG's mom and dad,

we will stand by the no dating until 16 rule.

We want to keep our girls innocent and pure,

and have every expectation that they will

live according to God's command

and follow in our footsteps 

and save themselves

until marriage.

Read on for some really great rules to raising girls right.

Gyro Bowl

Look what we got in the mail.

No, not Piper.

Not the packing poppy paper.

It's a gyrobowl.

And Caroline put it to the test.

Piper helped a bit.

A while back I got an e-mail

asking for a product review.

I happily obliged.

knowing that 

Caroline would love a chance to try and destroy it.

Toilet Time

Great.
My hubby is now going
to really have a great excuse
as to why he spends
so much time on the toilet.
Am I the only woman with this complaint?

Girls can play football too.

On Sunday, my hubby, LG got up to give a talk.
He was as cute as usual; I love hearing him speak.
He never does it publicly unless he is assigned.
Following, our three girls, me,
and the ward's Young Women's choir,
he got a little choked up as he said that good women are a theme in his life.

After all, he is the dad of four beautiful daughters
and the husband of a pretty hard to handle wife.

He then told a funny story.
Hit the read more. You don't want to miss this one.
It's about the kid shown above. And football.

My husband loves his moobs.

Abigail thought she was being clever to shorten the name for LG's manboobs to moobs.
Little did she know that the term is already in use everywhere.
Surely she hadn't ever referenced the urban dictionary.
I guess it's an easy combination to conclude.

Here is a funny story just for my sister in law Meagan
who has missed the old me while I was caught up in too much drama.

My love affair with THE Wal-Mart

How anyone living in the 21st century can avoid shopping at Wal-Mart is beyond me?

If you have found the secret, do tell.

This One's For the Boys (and Men)

The other day we were getting lunch ready
and I told Sophia to go ahead
and cut herself some cheese
from the big block of Cheddar.

(You already know where I am going with this, don't you?)

Don't miss the fireworks.

So, on Saturday night at 10 pm, LG and I were walking out of the temple.
Yes, this temple. How amazing is that?

From our view up on the hill, there were fireworks going off all over the valley. It was absolutely breathtaking.

LG informed me that The Stadium of Fire would be happening any moment. For some reason, in my mind, I thought that it was going to happen on the actual 4th.

I decided we should hurry home and find a spot to watch the fireworks.

To my dismay, when we got home, the kids had no interest whatsoever in breaking away from the TV.

I pried their bodies and eyes from the tube, and made them pile in the car. I was not about to miss the fireworks, especially after this post.

As we drove down State street (Utah Valley's version of Knoxville's Kingston Pike) I was overwhelmed by so many US flags lit up along the road. The patriotism of Utahns is not only efficacious but admirable. People either love America here or they display their stars and stripes to compete with all the other businesses. And by all, I mean ALL. Everyone has a flag. Everyone.

The kids were grumbling during the whole drive.
Why do we have to do this?
We don't want to watch the fireworks.
Let's just go back home.
wah wah wah.

I told them to keep their eyes on the flags and to sing along.
I started loud and strong:

This land is your land, this land is my land....nothing but my voice.
Oh beautiful, for spacious skies....again, nothing from the back seats.
She's a grand old flag, she's a high flying flag...."Shut up, mom."
God bless America...."Really, Alice, do you have to sing so loud?" said quietly by LG so the kids wouldn't hear; I'm assuming he didn't want to totally stomp on my love for country.
I'm proud to be an American....(even louder than before)

By this time the kids were all horrified and hating their mother and her motherland.

And guess what? By the time we got to Provo's end of State from our northern end of Orem's State, all we could see was traffic. The traffic was heading towards us, not with us.

Yes, I hate to tell you, Murphy's Law is still in full effect, and has no respect for a nation's holiday celebrated two days early or a very loud and song singing patriotic mother. We had missed the fireworks.

More grumbling, complaining, and whining ensued.

LG and I were not about to miss a good opportunity for teaching our kids.

Me: "Knock it off you guys, at least we still live in a country that has firework celebrations."
LG: "There are a lot of kids in this world that would die to be in this car right now."
Me: "Or to even have a car."
LG: "Or to have a mother."
Abigail: "Not if their mom sang like that."
Me: "Especially if their mom sang like that."
LG: "Yeah, think of all the kids out there that don't live a country where they have mothers." (O.k. I just made that up.) I think he really said, "You should be grateful for a mother who can sing, and cook, and do laundry."

Abigail: "At least parents in other countries would be smart enough NOT to drive their family into the middle of the traffic jam, especially when their family missed the show."
Me: "Well, at least there are other Americans with cars."
LG: "And at least your mom can see in the dark and drive."
Bella: "Mom, STOP!" (I admit it I barely missed that car in front of me.)

Anyhow, the conversation went on for a bit. And there was no chance of it stopping.
[In fact, it can still be happening if you want to comment what your best line would have been to the kids.]

Quietly, ever so quietly and with her Gold sense of perfect timing, Sophia chimes in. She must have looked up from reading Harry Potter for long enough to gather her sisters' desperation for winning at the "Be glad you are American" game.

What does she say?
Brace yourself.

"Man, I wished I lived in Canada."

Seven words. That's all it takes to make a total complete disaster of an evening all worth it.
Good one Phia. Good one.
Average Americans should really consider more than 2.5 kids; they make everything more fun.

I told the kids that if they would sing their favorite patriotic song at the top of their lungs, then I would indeed STOP.

Abigail was loud and proud. I wonder where she gets that from?
"I'm a yankee doodle dandy. A yankee doodle, do or die."

I am sure that all that traffic surrounding us was so grateful that they didn't miss the real entertainment of the evening as I rolled all windows down.

And If I do say so myself those frostys from Wendy's were the perfect consolation prize for everyone involved. Nothing like good old American food.

And when the song Firework came on the radio. I promise you, not just momma was singing. Even dad got in on the falsetto. Perfection, pure perfection.

We didn't miss a thing. The fireworks had been going off in our car all night long.



And guess what? Utah loosened their firework laws this year. We can now shoot off 150 foot rockets from our very own neighborhoods. And on the real 4th of July, the sky was lit up in every direction we could turn. Our culdesac of fire was a billion times better than their Stadium of Fire. Fireworks in the sky on all four sides, coming from everywhere.

God bless America.

In The Moment

Thank you to NieNie for the video.

Powerful stuff.

I am so much better at living in the important moments on Sundays.

Thank you God for a day of rest.

Please help me to slow down during the week.

And please give me the strength to wake up early enough to surprise my man with the breakfast of his dreams. I know I can't live up to his mom in that way, but I have provided the man with four beautiful children, and I hope he knows how much I love him. And how when my life is over, all of my most important moments will include him.

I love you LG.

And Happy Father's Day to Duane and dad.
Thanks for all your moments. That add up to eternity. Can't wait to spend it all together.

Here is a great idea for a last minute Father's Day gift. Brought to you by my very own Sunday School teacher. She also happens to have a great blog. And she believes in enjoying the moments as evidenced by her killer Harry Potter parties. I hope I get to go next month.

Father's Day Nots

I may not be able to tell you what you should buy for your dad/hubby for Father's Day, but I can tell you what NOT to buy.

My hubby, LG, was checking out Amazon's list of Father's Day sale items and gave me the low down.

Here was his strongest reaction.

Tupperware? Tupperware! Tupperware?! Show me one dad in the universe that would want Tupperware for Father's Day.

Knives are just a tad bit better, but seriously? Who is running this website? Every metrosexual homosexual girly stay-home dad they could find?

Hmm. Robotic lawnmower. (said in a non-emotional voice)

Me: I thought you would love that?

LG: Oh yeah, that is cool. I would love that.

My man would also love that metal detector. It's a gadget. Anything gadget is beyond good. We decided that Ikea is the best store ever for a date-night because it combines a man's love for gadget with a woman's love for decor and beauty. He would also love the flatscreen or the wireless wireless forecast station.

Looking at the list this morning, I don't need my man to give me his two cents to instantly pick out other items that would be a bust at my house: lava lamp (he is 35 now), Jalepeno Rack (what the crap is that?), the turkey fryer (he wouldn't even be able to try it out until November), the picture frames (he doesn't love us that much), Desktop Humidor (I know we are kind of less than cultured but what is that? Is it just that I am a Mormon. Is a Humidor where a man keeps his cigars? I seriously don't know), the white dinky office chair (he's a man people, he wants a real chair), and last but certainly not least, the gnome (what kind of fathers day message does that send...you are so...um...round in the middle).

If I HAD to buy from Amazon, I would go with the hammock on the second page. Or the robotic lawn mower. I would maybe even entertain the idea of the outdoor food smoker (if the man actually EVER cooked anything in his life).

Since the lawnmower is 800 fat ones and the metal detector is 849 and the flat screen is only 42", I guess I am going to have to go with my first and best idea: vienna sausages.

I try to buy the man some kind of sausage for every holiday and the little metal can will take him right down  memory lane. He was telling the girls just yesterday about when he was a kid he loved his Saturday adventures. He would load up his backpack with everything he needed (food, water, toilet paper) and head out for an adventure on his bike. He would be gone all day looking for abandoned building out in the forest. For some reason that he can't explain, his food always included vienna sausages. Gross.

This year, I am packing a backpack full of vienna sausages and taking the man on an adventure for Father's Day. I might even give him the ultimate gift. I might even eat one of the sausages. Or not.

Or I may have to rethink the whole holiday by shopping at America's true manly man store.

Walmart here I come.

 I would never want to disappoint this man. Look at him. He's the best daddy ever.

This article was first published and filled with useless links as Father's Day Nots on Blogcritics.

Although I was honored for my post to be chosen for publishing, 

I am not sure if I will ever enter another post for their review in the future

as it brought me no hits and it seems that the whole point of Blogcritics

is to use others' writing to shamelessly earn income for themselves.

Funny Dads are best

Check out the dad who dressed up every day of school last year to wave his son off.

He has entertained his son, all the kids on the bus, his neighbors, and a whole lot more via the world wide web.

I am so grateful his wife recorded every single outfit.

This is my kind of guy. Thanks to whoever you are that turned me on to the local Utah County phenomenon by sharing this news article on their facebook.

I looked and laughed at every single picture.

I wish I had ideas as good.

I wish more people in this world could turn away from the wicked stuff and just go back to having a good old time.

My Tennessee influence has to claim this get up the winner of all.

But now that I am in Utah again,

this is a very close second.

I wonder if they played missionary tag that day at school 

in honor of the ultimate funny dad?

Speak up Sophia.

Sophia is our quiet child. She is our low maintenance child. I am always worried that I am not giving her enough attention because to be quite honest, in a crazy house like mine, she is a breathe of fresh air. She is so easy to raise. I would never make the mistake of calling her perfect because nobody is perfect, but as far as being her mom, she is really really easy. She doesn't require much but some food and water. Heck, she is lower maintenance than our dog. She is definitely quieter than our dog. She rarely barks. She noticed her picture and came over to read what I was writing. She says, "I do not bark."

Well, I've blogged before about a big oops with Sophia. These slip ups seem to be happening more regularly. Just the other day I found myself at Walgreen's purchasing lemon heads and chocolate ice-cream to say I was sorry for missing her school program. My husband was having a crisis and his brother stopped in on his way through town to say good-bye before we moved. With all the drama, I totally spaced that I was supposed to go to her day program to make up for the night before when I was at Abigail's school program that took place at the exact same time. I don't know how single moms do it; my hubby and I have to divide and conquer all too often. Well, I cried to Sophia, apologized profusely, promised to watch the video, and cautioned her that she may as well learn now that nobody is perfect and she is gonna be let down. I told her that there was only one person that would never let her down. And she said that she knew that. I said, "Well, who then?" She replied, "Jesus Christ." Very good. I am not totally failing as a parent.

Just Ask Alice - Inception (Spanking)

Dana and I go way back. All the way back to California in the 80's, where she thought I was the coolest girl at camp and decided she wanted to be just like me when she grew up. She has done pretty well with that, except to really pass the Alice look alike test I think she will have to put on a few pounds. Like 100 or so.

A few years ago, Dana and I were shocked to run into each other, after 20 years, at church in Atlanta, where we thought it odd that we both had three children (I believe all of hers were girls) and attorney husbands.

Here is a link to her website, where you will see that she is a talented photographer. I  love her style. You can also like her on facebook. And even though her photography is the bomb, let me tell you that Dana is a hoot. I would pay her to take my picture just because I know she could get a real smile out of me. She may not even have to say anything. Just looking at her makes me laugh. She has the vibe.

Dana came up with the idea for Just Ask Alice.

She said she thinks I could give good advice. Little does she know that I have spent my whole adult life-hood learning how to keep my opinions and advice to myself. Or maybe she does know that (or even relates) but she is flattering me and laughing behind my back as she sends me to my own destruction.

But, I like the idea of having things to write about. Things that interest my readers.

Great picture to go with spanking, eh? It was Dana's idea.
Did I tell you how much I LOVE her photography?
And her sense of humor?

Dana's question that I will answer:

How do you feel about spanking?

Don't do it. Unless it's for your husband. My husband deserves a bunch of spankings right now, but it's all good cause he likes being spanked.

How to dress up like a cow

We recently took a trip to Chick-Fil-A

for some free chicken.

All you had to do was dress up like a cow.

It was in this setting that I realized,

that moms can try as hard as they want:

they can make costumes

and help coordinate efforts

but, they can

never

even

try to

replace

dad.

LG is such a good sport.

Or he really just likes free chicken.

Nobody got his costume.

Except for this other dad,

standing close by

in his sissy

jersey spots.

He let out a good manly chuckle

at the sight of LeGrand,

being the man that he is.

I think he is going to rethink

his costume next year.

I wonder how many men

will show up as bulls

next time?

But, remember,

you saw it here first.

LeGrand needs all the manly points

he can get

in this household

full of women.

Like our 4 daughters

always say,

"even our cat and dog

are girls."

Quilting Dad

Check out this blog of a 35 year old FATHER of three who QUILTS.

And this quilt of his is gorgeous.

Wishful Thinking

Happy Birthday Big Guy.

I wish we could stay in bed all day.

And do nothing.

Or something.

But instead we will be

getting Caroline tubes in her ears,

closing your practice,

searching for a new job,

taking kids back to school shopping,

paying bills,

cleaning house,

and

working on church callings.

All of which will require us to get out of bed

VERY EARLY.

I'm so glad I married a morning person.

One of these days,

let's get out of bed early,

and go somewhere

where we can stay in bed all day.

Yes, there is a Santa Claus

After a recent depressing blog post,

I received an outpouring of love.

It was truly a miracle.

A Christmas miracle.

I had tried not to talk about our deplorable situation.

I didn't want to be needy.

Or ungrateful.

I also didn't want to make my husband feel bad.

Because he has been busting his tail.

But when one is building his own business straight out of college,

it is rough. Really rough.

And even rougher when you have a family to support.

This has been the worst fiscal year of our lives.

And that says a lot.

Because you all know we were in law school with three kids.

And we lived on less than $18,000 a year.

For those who aren't Mormon.

You gotta know that Mormons keep a supply of food for emergencies.

Months back, we lived on that food for the first time in our married lives.

After months of living like this, I finally fell apart on my blog.

I threw it out there.

And I only threw a small portion

of the load that I had been carrying.

As to not make anyone feel bad.

Especially my husband.

Who I honor, respect, and admire.

Shortly after I threw it out there,

Miracles started to happen.

(LG sarcastically remarked that I should have begged on the blog earlier,

like when the kids needed shoes for school.)

I can't even think about some of them without crying.

For instance,

A friend I haven't spoken to in years called and asked what she could buy my girls for Christmas.

She had read the blog and felt inspired.

I am deeply grateful for all of the little miracles in 2009.

God has been good to us.

But one miracle in particular,

deserves a special mention.

A special mention

because

I met the wife of Santa Claus

when she found my blog years ago.

I would have never known Santa Claus without the blog.

Did you know that Santa really lives in Nevada?

Last week I got an e-mail from him.

The message line.

Yes, Abigail, Sophia, Bella, Caroline..there is a Santa Claus.

Along with it there was a notice to pick up a trampoline at our local Wal-Mart.

Santa's wife had read my blog.

She notified her kind and generous husband of a Christmas need.

It wasn't really a need, but a want.

A want on the Christmas list.

A want that some down and destitute parents could have never fulfilled.

And they would have never asked for help.

Because it was just a want.

And their kids had what they needed.

And the kids had become very aware that the basic necessities of life were blessing enough.

They could ask Santa for some amazing gift,

but he probably would be too busy helping some even more destitute kids in Africa.

But guess what?

Santa wasn't too busy.

And on one day of the year,

nothing was too much to want.

Because on one day of the year.

Miracles happen.

And some precious little girls in Knoxville, TN got a trampoline.

Even when their parents had told them repeatedly

that Santa had kids to feed in Africa.

And would probably be too busy.

And one very little blogger.

with a very small readership.

Got her Christmas miracle too.

Santa Claus read her blog.

And on Christmas Day,

he made her husband smile.

Really smile.

And that is all she wanted.

And she had wanted that for a very long time.

Ever since last Christmas.

But she thought Santa was too busy in Africa.

But, Santa was in Nevada.

And he not only read my blog.

But he made miracles happen at my house.

That is so like him.

I heard this song on the radio the evening of Christmas.

I bawled my eyes out.

That evening my prayer went something like this:

Give Santa a halo for me, will ya?

Oh, and send his wife a big fat kiss.