Better Than Awesomeness

I am not sure which one of the girls came up with the word.

I am not even totally certain if I know what it means.

But I think this picture captures it.

Awesomility.

You know.

It's when you know you're awesome, but you are humble about it.

So, you hide from the paparazzi.

Feel free to use it in every day conversation.

We haven't copyrighted it.

Girls!

We are on the cusp of adolescence at our house. Joy. Poor LeGrand. He has been dealing with notes like this for years. Maybe it is time for his wife to grow up.

It was a rough day at our house yesterday. This is the note that I went to bed to find. Do you think that Abigail is sassy enough to be a teenager soon? Or maybe I need a parenting class?

Dear Mom,

I really need you to know this but you'll yell at me if I tell it to you directly. You see, it feels like your giving less and less attention to me and the only way to get attention from you is to be a brat.

Also, If you could be less angry that would be great.

Also, I'm getting older, I can take more responsibilities, not like clean the whole family room responsibility, like babysitting, taking care of the baby, making dinner, stuff like that.

Also, I don't know how, but somehow you can't get it through your thick skull that we work better when it's fun, to make it fun, you put on music, make it a game, stuff like that. I'd really appreciate the changes.

Sincerely,

Abigail

I am not sure if I should be proud that I have showed her how to express her feelings so well. Be astounded that she captured the first chapter of The Five Love Languages so insightfully, which teaches that people act badly to get attention. Maybe I could just be amused at the brattiness of "the thick skull". Either way. I know I've got to work on my yelling more. And just so ya'll don't think that I am totally heartless, I will be having a chat with her.

Oh, it's notes like these that make me so excited for my daughters to have children of their own. I am going to photo copy this and cross out her name and write in the name of her child at the bottom and mail it to her someday. I can't wait.

I was considering writing her a note back and leaving it on her pillow tonight.

It would go something like this:

Dear Abigail,

I really need you to know this but you'll yell at me if I tell it to you directly. You see, it feels like your giving less and less attention to me and the only way to get attention from you is to be a brat.

Also, If you could be less angry that would be great.

Also, you're getting older, you can take on more responsibilities, like cleaning the whole family room, AND babysitting, taking care of the baby, making dinner,and a lot of other stuff like that.

Also, I don't know how, but somehow you can't get it through your thick skull that I work better when it's fun, to make it fun, you put on music, make it a game, stuff like that. I'd really appreciate the changes.

Sincerely,

Mom

P.S. I love you and your sassiness and I think you are going to write a great college entrance exam someday and I am WAYYY looking forward to it.

God vs. Science

It had to be something good to pull me out of my blogging slum. It was an e-mail forward. I don't know if it is accurate or true. I didn't snopes it. I didn't google Albert Einstein. I just know that God exists and I wanted to share some good scientific arguments in support of my argument.

I hope my children know this one thing about me. I know God lives and watches over us. I know that our lives are linked to His and that He wants us to return home to Him like any loving father would. So many people in this world act to the contrary and I wish that they could understand their Father like I do because they would never want to disappoint Him or tread on His commandments or treat His other children badly. They would pray to Him like speaking to Him was their lifeline. They would overcome their weaknesses instead of succumbing to Satan's lulling influence because they would understand that this life is a time to prepare to meet God.

I saw a church sign the other day. I didn't have my camera. It said, "Look around. God sent you flowers." Yes, everyone, faith changes everything.

Who needs Einstein when you have children to tell you what you need to know?
I can't post without a photo, but in the past 6 months, I have gone from my PC, to my laptop, now to LG's backup work laptop which has just three photos to choose from.


GOD VS. SCIENCE:
'Let me explain the problem science has with religion..'
The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.


'You're a Christian, aren't you, son?'


'Yes sir,' the student says.


'So you believe in God?'


'Absolutely. '


'Is God good?'
'Sure! God's good.'


'Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?'


'Yes'


'Are you good or evil?'


'The Bible says I'm evil.'


The professor grins knowingly. 'Aha! The Bible! He considers for a moment. 'Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?'


'Yes sir, I would.'


'So you're good...!'


'I wouldn't say that.'


'But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't.'


The student does not answer, so the professor continues. 'He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Can you answer that one?'


The student remains silent. 'No, you can't, can you?' the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax. 'Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?'


'Er..yes,' the student says.


'Is Satan good?'


The student doesn't hesitate on this one. 'No.'


'Then where does Satan come from?'

The student falters. 'From God'


'That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?'


'Yes, sir..'


'Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything, correct?'


'Yes'


'So who created evil?' The professor continued, 'If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil.'


Again, the student has no answer. 'Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?'


The student squirms on his feet. 'Yes.'


'So who created them?'


The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. 'Who created them?' There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized. 'Tell me,' he continues onto another student. 'Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?'



The student's voice betrays him and cracks. 'Yes, professor, I do.'


The old man stops pacing. 'Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?'


'No sir. I've never seen Him.'


'Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?'


'No, sir, I have not..'


'Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?'


'No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't.'


'Yet you still believe in him?'


'Yes'
'According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist... What do you say to that, son?'


'Nothing,' the student replies.. 'I only have my faith.'


'Yes, faith,' the professor repeats. 'And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith.'


The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of His own. 'Professor, is there such thing as heat? '


' Yes.


'And is there such a thing as cold?'

'Yes, son, there's cold too.'

'No sir, there isn't.'


The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly become s very quiet. The student begins to explain. 'You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit down to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest -458 degrees. Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.'


Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer.


'What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?'


'Yes,' the professor replies without hesitation.. 'What is night if it isn't darkness?'


'You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?'


The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester. 'So what point are you making, young man?'


'Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed.'


The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. 'Flawed? Can you explain how?'


'You are working on the premise of duality,' the student explains.. 'You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought.' 'It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absen ce of it.' 'Now tell me, professor.. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?'


'If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do.'


'Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?'


The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.


'Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?'


The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided. 'To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean.' The student looks around the room. 'Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?' The class breaks out into laughter. 'Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir.' 'So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?'


Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable. Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. 'I Guess you'll have to take them on faith.'


'Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life,' the student continues. 'Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?' Now uncertain, the professor responds, 'Of course, there is. We see it Everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in The multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.'


To this the student replied, 'Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light.'

The professor sat down.

PS: the student was Albert Einstein
Albert Einstein wrote a book titled God vs. Science in 1921...

My Love

(LG and I - Dec 1997 - quite possibly my favorite photo in the world)

Oh the title makes me sing...."My love, there's only you in my life, the only thing that's right".

Am I the only crazy person in the world who hears lyrics in my head on a daily basis?

Now that Valentine's Day is over, I have had a whole half of a day to reflect.

On love.

Who knew it is so complicated?

I learned in therapy last week that I am really not the greatest at receiving love.

Try fixing that one. If you have success let me know.

I am a little worried that I am not going to be able to improve in the area and I'll be left a non-loved hag.

Just call me Grinch, or Scrooge, or even Ornery Old Lady, Maxine.

So, as I told you before, LG and I have been trying to figure out ways to enhance our marriage.

I could tell you all of our baggage, but that seems to bring out some serious haters.

And I am trying to learn how to receive more LOVE not HATE.

So, let's just say that 6 years ago when LG started law school, we hit a 6 year slump.

And we are trying to slowly dig our way out.

It takes individual and combined efforts.

It's complicated and difficult.

And exhausting.

Thank goodness we have a therapist to throw us a line from time to time.

But, I have every reason to believe that we will come out on top.

Together.

Meanwhile, I am spending a lot of time reflecting.

Instead of blogging.

As you have all noticed.

(And I've been spending too much time on Facebook.)

One thing that was told to me on Facebook was to read a book.

The Five Love Languages

by Gary Chapman

I found a copy at the local and awesome used book store, McKay's.

I didn't want to wait behind 32 other people at the local library, so I forked over $7.

I had to search for the book.

It was finally found in the Christian section in the subsection High Demand.

Funny they had only two copies compared to several shelves of Bibles.

Now that's a modern conundrum.

Can I now use my reading of The Five Love Languages as an additional argument for why Mormons are Christian too?

So, I have read a good twenty pages.

I am trying to decide my love language.

The choices are:

1- quality time

2- words of affirmation

3- gifts

4- acts of service

5- physical touch

The earth shattering gospel of the book is that every person has a love language that they understand.

Love languages are learned just as a native communicating language is learned.

If your spouse doesn't show love to you in your language,

it's as if a Chinese person who speaks no English is married to a Spanish person who speaks no Chinese.

Well, because my therapist says I am not good at receiving love.

Which I have come to believe is true.

I am wondering if I even have any love language at all.

LG and I were discussing this little worry of mine.

I was reminded of a little conversation we had recently.

I said, "I think I might have a little of the language of "gifts".

A few weeks back I was telling LG that I had read a great article in Good Housekeeping about the art of the love letter.

I told LG he should read it.

He agreed that he should.

He was distracted at work on the phone.

I didn't think he was listening to me.

I said, "Do you know what would be the best love letter for me?"

He said, "What?"

I said with all the confidence I could muster:

"The dishwasher is on it's way."

He was actually listening because he laughed.

Hard.

LG hasn't bought into the idea that buying me things will make our marriage more loving.

He questioned last night how him bringing me things home from The Dollar Tree could really help our marriage.

I told him that he should try it and see.

And that I think it really would.

Help our marriage.

He said, 'How does some random glass figurine make you know I love you?"

I reminded him that the first gift he ever gave me was a porcelain skunk.

And it has sat in a place of honor in our front room,

for the last twelve years.

He was silent.

As he pondered.

What he is going to buy me at the dollar tree.

Until he can afford the dishwasher.

And, my love language has been uncovered.

Now, we just have to figure out LG's.

We think his might be words of affirmation.

He likes it when I tell him that he's sexy.

I told him that spending $1 on something stupid is sexy.

Watch out therapist.

Gary Chapman is gonna steal your hardest clients.

Please, don't ever argue that facebook isn't good for a marriage.

Because although my therapist helped me to see that my love needed help in the receiving department.

A friend on facebook pointed me in the right direction.

So that I could see that I would most prefer to receive love,

in the form of a gift.

A Poopy Ending

My friend Valerie e-mailed me another funny one. It served as a reminder to me today that we can never predict the ending. And we should laugh because it's good for us.

There was a bagpiper. He was asked to play his bagpipes at the grave site of
a homeless man.

The bagpiper showed up late as he got lost in the hills of Kentucky on his
way to an unknown cemetery.

When he finally arrived he saw the workers had already started to fill in
the grave. They were now sitting and eating their lunches. He looked down and
saw the top of the casket. He took out his bagpipes and started playing with all
the heart he had for this homeless person who left this earth alone. By his last
number, Amazing Grace, the workers were all gathered around and everyone was
weeping.

The bagpiper silently gathered his instrument and started for the
car.

As he got in his car he overheard one of the workers, "WOOOOOwee. I've
never seen nothing like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for
over twenty years."

Anatomical Energy

There is a reason I married a guy who had the skills in Science.

I knew somebody was gonna have to teach it to our children.

Shortly after LG and I got married, we both started a new semester of college. He went to one of his advanced classes while I tried my hand at Physical Science 101. After this 2nd attempt at Physics, (the first ending horribly in High School with one of the only bad grades I remember receiving) I found my knight in shining armor waiting for me outside the room. It only took that first 45 minutes of the introduction to the semester to get me all in tears.

"I just can't take that class."

He was dumbfounded. I tried to explain. He tried to understand.

Me: "I just don't get the study of gravity. I know if I chuck this textbook at you, it will hit you. Why else do I need to know that stuff? I don't care how long it will take or how hard it will hit. Who needs the law of gravity? It's not like we are ever gonna live on the moon."

Him: "Well, Alice, that isn't technically the law of gravity, if you throw that book at me."

Me crying harder, "O.k. whatever, see I just don't care. I can't learn about something that I don't care about one iota."

"or one molecule, or atom or whatever they call that stuff."

Do they really call it mass? Matter? And there is a difference between the two?

Later that evening, while in bed, (we were newly weds who actually waited until we got married, so you can go ahead and wonder why we were still discussing this topic) we decided that Biology might be a better choice for me.

If I could get the babies here,

he would agree to teach them everything they needed to know in the area of science.

Well, tonight was the night. Where was my knight in shining armor when I needed him?

Abigail came home from the fifth grade with the confusing stuff.

"Are you serious Abigail? They really teach you this stuff in fifth grade?"

No wonder I was so lost in the 11th grade. It was the first time I remember ever seeing the material.

Did the rest of the class really get their start about 6 years earlier?

Well, I am honored to tell you that the stuff is still confusing to me.

Abigail tried to be humble. O.k. not really.

"Mom, it's so easy. Will you just test me on the stuff?"

"Um, yeah, sure."

Note to self: Someday tell Abigail the knight in shining armor story.

Here is where my explaining stopped.

This is a photo of the Nuclear Plant in Diablo Valley, CA

Me: "Abigail, there are two boobs in California. I think they are kinetic, um, I mean potential energy."

"Oh, forget it, go to bed. We'll get you up early so dad can help you."

Abigail. "Boobs, are you kidding me mom?"

Oh, yeah, I dropped Anatomy after two weeks.

I just couldn't stand the thought of seeing what was really inside of a boob.

And if you are like me and still left trying to figure it out.

Does a boob store energy or is it "energy in use"?

You will have to ask my husband. Or Abigail may be able to help you. Tomorrow.

LG just got home.
He says that the answer is: Boobs create energy.

Sing, sing, sing

If I had another life to live, I think I would like to be a music teacher.

Abigail was chosen to be in the Knox County Honors Choir.

I am so excited.

I cannot wait for their concert.

I feel like I have ticket to American Idol or something.

Abigail's director gave them this youtube link to hear one of the songs they will sing.

I cried when I watched it.

Maybe I am in the dark ages, but this choir PS22 is all over the place.

Check out their blog.

What an inspiring choir director.

He just made my day.

I e-mailed him and he e-mailed me back.

What a guy.

My religion ain't football

But there are sure a lot of worshipping VOL fans out there.

And they HATE Lane Kiffin.

(He's a dirty rotten, good for nothin, pack ' o lies, cheatin' sell-out coach)

Hope all you Californian's won't regret it.

It's about time I had a church sign worthy of the blog.

11 pounds 8 ounces.

This is LG's cousin's newly born baby.

Her name is Sydney Rachel.

This photo has to make you smile.

I have looked at it at least 10 times since she was posted on Facebook.

Momma Rowena deserves some serious spa time.

What a little chunk.

How cute.