Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Radio Turn On Buttons

I just want to share with you the conversation my husband and I shared the other day. I had been chatting with him while he was at work. I was asking him how to view the properties of a picture that I minimized. I couldn't figure out the pixel amount. He told me to make sure the pixel radio was selected.
Me: Pixel Radio. What's that? I see this pixel button, but where does a radio come in?

LG: Oh, they call that button a radio button.
Me: Why?
LG: Because it's like the old-school radio, you can only select one button at a time.
Me: huh?
LG: Don't you remember the old school radio?
Me: faintly.
I got the job done with the help of my personal on-line tech support team. We then got off chat.
I immediately received an e-mail with this photo.
Oh the joy of technology.

I chuckled.
And returned it with this short e-mail:
I am so glad you are finding the time to entertain yourself and enlighten me at the same time. It's a gadget thing.
He then replied back again:
I'm here to serve.

I then said
You make me horny.

He then replied back again:
Easy, I have co-workers walking in and out of my office.

I am glad I can have that effect.

And then he got really risqué with:
Maybe since I sent you a picture to explain what I meant you need to do the same ;-)

I never responded back. And I am not just saying that because his boss may read this someday.

So, fast forward, the other day we were out working in the yard.
There are these metal things sticking up from the concrete patio and they make me nervous that the kids are going to hurt themselves. I finally took matter into my own hands.

"LG, where's the sledgehammer?"

He had no idea. I quickly searched the shed and fetched it.

He was working on some weeds close-by when I came back and took the sledgehammer to the metal.
With two swift swings I had solved the issue.

LG exclaims,
"I now get how that radio e-mail made you horny.
That was most definitely a turn on."

We are so silly.

I love his mind.
He loves my brute strength.

How bliss are we?

Pretty bliss.
We were especially bliss on the day this photo was taken. 
It marked the end of our marriage focusing on higher education for 11 years.
So, we could have more time for the turn on buttons.

Monday, June 06, 2011

I Feel E Beautiful



When people search the lyrics to the song I'm So Pretty on google, they must be surprised when they are brought to this old post which was titled with the words to a great Broadway song I Feel Pretty. It's one of my favorite songs of all time.

I thought that the words said "I'm so pretty and witty and wise", but after listening to the above mash up, I realize that I was mistaken, it's really "I'm so pretty and witty and bright." I like wise better, but really isn't it the same thing?

This song has a great message and I wish to share it. Everyone should feel pretty. They should always feel pretty. Even without make-up or the latest fashions or any admirers to tell them so. I think although sometimes I feel fat, I have always felt pretty. I am not saying this to brag, but it's true, I'm pretty. I am not drop dead gorgeous, but I don't think I am hard on the eyes. Do other people even think about stuff like this? Am I just sounding like a total freak right now?

My sister came to visit this past weekend and she complained that I have such great skin while she still struggles with acne. She also told me that I better hurry and dye my grey hair. To try and counteract the hair comment, she said, "Alice, I wish I had as pretty of a face that you do." Funny, I just want her marathon running body to go with my already gorgeous face. I guess this stems from so many people telling me that it was o.k. that I was fat because I have such a beautiful face. Hate on me haters. Seriously, they started telling me that at a young age. I guess I am a living testament to the power of complimentary behavior. I have always felt beautiful. (I have also always felt fat)


When LG and I were engaged, we were encouraged to take the this compatibility test at BYU before getting married the ten days later that we did. It was the worst thing we ever did for our marriage. We were told that we were compatible. (Hello, we already knew that) But, one of the questions of the test has been detrimental to LG and I both for years. It was:

Rate your potential partner's looks.
a)ugly
b)below average
c)average
d)above average
e)beautiful

I chose C. LG chose D. When going over our results, I was heartbroken. I wanted to be E beautiful and I let him have it. Every girl should feel that their spouse thinks they are E beautiful. It still comes up from time to time. LG always defends himself that D (pretty) is perfectly great and that I said he was only C (average) and no one ever hears him complain.

There is no moral to this post. It's more of the rambling type. I do think that there is power in the mind and that we should all be kind to ourselves. I am glad that I feel pretty. Now I am just going to work on feeling happy with the body that I have or do something to change it. I think I never really worry about it because even though I feel fat, I think that fat can still be pretty. In fact, fat can be E beautiful. Just look at the link below.

Even though this blogger has never acknowledged my existence, I am still going to send you to yet another one of her posts. It's about body image. It's awesome. And the women of Ghana would probably never call themselves fat. Maybe I should start there.

And if the post above doesn't make you ready for bathing suit season, try this old post of mine.

Sunday, June 05, 2011

Same Jersey

Sometimes I forget that we all wear the same jersey.
I get lifted up in pride.
And I get overzealous about sharing what I know to be true.
I am not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
I am ashamed if I use my knowledge to feel better than others.

I repent.
And I pray for forgiveness.
And I hope that I will find the right balance between
sharing what I know to be true
and loving and respecting others for their beliefs.

I have said it before and I will say it again.
I believe the most important thing that I can do in this life
is to love all people.
I will someday have to report to my God
about how I treated all of his children
while here on earth.
But, I will also have to report on how I shared the knowledge He has given me.
And for both tasks, I don't want to be left short.



Pride and the Priesthood


My dear brethren of the priesthood, my beloved fellow disciples of the gentle Christ, should we not hold ourselves to a higher standard? As priesthood bearers, we must realize that all of God’s children wear the same jersey. Our team is the brotherhood of man. This mortal life is our playing field. Our goal is to learn to love God and to extend that same love toward our fellowman. We are here to live according to His law and establish the kingdom of God. We are here to build, uplift, treat fairly, and encourage all of Heavenly Father’s children. ~ Deiter F Uchtdorf

Saturday, June 04, 2011

Right At Home

I was thrilled when I discovered this little Baptist church down the street.
It made me feel right at home.
I think the Western Baptist's ingenuity may need some upgrading,
but I will take what I can get.

Do you think that this sign is saying I love you God three times?
Or is it God saying he loves us three times?

Either way I find it ironic 
that
the sign
is the same sentiment
for the Mormons and the Baptists.
We all love God.
And He loves all of us.

Friday, June 03, 2011

Sure Signs of Summer

It's officially summer!

Here is a haiku poem a wrote and memorized 
in the 5th grade.

School is out today.
Here the children scream
yeah yeah.
School must start again.

Pretty deep if you ask me.
I wonder if the kids want me to surprise them with an after-school slurpee again?
I think Caroline is a true Southern girl.
Slurpees are too sour for her tastes.
I think she might prefer icees.



I think we need this oversize chair for all the camping we plan to do.
Or I could just watch slip and slide time out my kitchen window.
Either way, it's definitely summer.


School is out today.
Hear the mother scream
yeah yeah.
Lazy days I love.


Thursday, June 02, 2011

Charlie

The other day at church someone called out to their kid who was running down the hall.
"Charlie!"


Caroline looked all around.

She didn't see Charlie anywhere.
She starting questioning
"Where's Charlie?"

I didn't have the heart to tell her that he lives in Tennessee.
And we live in Utah.
And that there is now another kid named Charlie
who happens to be running down the hall.
But it's not her Charlie.

Wouldn't you know it?
You can never have everything.
In Tennessee, Caroline loved Charlie, but hated nursery.
Now, she loves nursery.
And she still loves Charlie.
But he isn't here.

And that is pretty identical to what her mom is going through.
I love so many things about Utah.
But I still love so many things about Tennessee,
but they aren't here.

I can look around and feel that hole in my heart
where Charlie is missing,
or I can just keep moving forward
looking for a new Charlie.
Man, I hope he arrives soon.
Because I am kind of floundering.

And that was metaphorical.
Because I am happily married.
Most of the time.


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Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Yes, I am talking to you, young lady.

My Abigail is 12.
And she is loving it.

I never want her to be a mean girl.
I hope she will be friends with everyone.
I think I was guilty of being a mean girl
as a teenager,
and it's one of my few life regrets.
I wish I would have not worried about my popularity status
but just loved everyone.

Go here for a good article about bullying.
I am gonna make Abigail read it.
Just in case she could use some help.
With being bullied.
Or bullying.
"Being nice" talks are very important
when a girl has three little sisters
who watch her every move.

Now on to other things I say to Abigail too often.

 Did you finish your homework?

 Who farted?

 Go to your room.

 No dating until you are 16.

 If you don't have anything nice to say,
don't say anything at all.

 Wash your face.

 You're so sexy.

Look me in the eye.

  Quit primping already, it's time to go.

 You are so beautiful.
You don't need make-up.

 I love you and I'm proud of you.

 C'mon, give me a hug. PLEASE!

 How was your day?

You are so cool.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

I Pray in Faith


Here is one of my favorite songs about prayer.
Actually it's one of my favorite songs of all time.
I have felt the power of the message while teaching it to many children.
My own and many who belong to my good friends.

I kneel to pray every day.
I speak to Heavenly Father.
He hears and answer me.
When I pray in faith. 
I begin by saying Dear Heavenly Father.
I thank him for blessings he sends.
Then humbly I ask him for things that I need
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Monday, May 30, 2011

My Little Monsters

Artistic Caroline presented by LG's smartphone. Such a perfect depiction of her almost 2 year old attitude.
Sophia has been really sick.
And this mom has been really worried.
She didn't have enough strength 
and was in too much pain 
and couldn't go to school all last week.

They say she just has two really bad ear infections.
But I am not sure if that is right.
This girl has had A LOT of ear infections.
2 bouts of Swimmer's ear.
Three sets of PE tubes.
And she has never been like this.
Her lymph nodes were huge on Friday night.
Visibly huge.

I also think she has a little whiplash from her cheer-leading class a few weeks ago.
Thankfully she looks a lot better today.
I am keeping my fingers crossed.
And praying more than crossing my fingers.
Especially since she just said her ear is hurting.
She already had one round of zithromax
and 3 shots of rocephin.

Sophia hasn't been sleeping as much as she should. 
Her eyes were really really red and bloodshot yesterday.
Despite her lethargy, she was dying to go to church to be the reverence child.
(I looked for a link to an explanation for a reverent child, but I couldn't find any -
a reverence child is the lucky kid who gets to stand in the front of the LDS sacrament meeting -
they stand with their arms folded and act as an example for the adults to remember reverence.)
Another side note: there is nothing like an assignment to be 10 minutes early for church to make a family 2 minutes late for church. We have been early for the past 6 weeks. Sorry Sophia.
After Sophia got dressed all pretty for church, Abigail voiced her observation:
"Look mom, Sophia looks like Rosalie (from Twilight).
Abigail was right. Sophia looked like she needed some blood bad. And fast!

Now I have two vampire children.
Just what I always wanted.

Thanks to all of our fallen soldiers who made it possible for me to raise a bunch of monsters.
We live in a wondrous country, despite the politicians.