Kindness lives on.

Just a quick link to a feel good story.

Mass Scary

And here's a mass scary picture of me just for good measure.

On the way to school the other day Abigail asked me how long it took me to learn to put mascara on in the car.

I told her that applying mascara while driving was a fine art that her mother had practiced a lot over the past 17 years.

I then added, to the sure relief of my reading mother in law, that even though the talent was quite handy, it was one that I hoped she would never try to learn.

Abigail said, "Why?"

LG quickly replied from his passenger seat, "Because, it's scary, that's why!"

Abigail said, "Oh, o.k. Mom, from now on when you put on mascara in the car, we are going to call it mascary."

Strength

Last Sunday was our Stake Conference.

Elder David A. Bednar was presiding. I felt so humbled and privileged to be in the presence of a modern day Apostle.

I wished I would have invited all of Knoxville to attend the meetings with me. I also wished that all of Knoxville was willing to believe that there really are modern day Apostles who speak as the prophets of old.

I cannot even begin to describe the feelings of my heart.

The message Elder Bednar delivered made me realize so strongly that the messages given by the leaders of the church are not about the man who is delivering the message. But, the messages are really about the Savior Jesus Christ, who Apostles are privileged to be a special witness for.

One of the most touching moments of the conference for me was the message of receiving power through the atonement of Christ.

Many people consider the atonement as only a sanctification through forgiveness of sins, but Elder Bednar instructed so profoundly that the atonement is also the way which each of us individually gains the strength of God.

With God, all things are possible.

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. ~ Philipians 4:13

And, it's Wednesday, so here is a video that I thought was inspiring.

It illustrates that we have got to push ourselves and trust in something beyond our limited vision and we can accomplish more than we ever thought was possible.

And, there should be no other perfect person to place that trust in except for God himself.

Calico strikes again.

Cally is having a giveaway.

Go and leave a comment, win a cute bag,

and help her surpass me at yet one more thing: blog readership.

It's o.k. I'm secure.

Tennessee Travel

This truck was in front of me on the Interstate the other day.

It was enough to send this mother of three into total anxiety mode.

Where is this boy's mother?

Does she know that this boy was riding in a

vehicle that was going about 65 miles an hour?

Don't you think he could have at least sat down in the truck bed?

This blogger with a magnet that says "Beware, blogger known to photgraph while driving" was very happy that she wasn't driving.

It was so much easier to take a picture from the back seat.

And, I know you guys didn't miss the duct tape holding on the license plate.

Church in the eyes of a comedian

We recently saw some friends that we haven't seen in about six years. We used to go to church together in Utah. Marie reminded me of a funny thing that I did once. I've told you before that I am such an idiot. Marie says that the following is a story that she shares often about her crazy friend who worries people constantly...you never know what might come out of my mouth.

So, Marie and I were at church choir practice. And after the practice it was typical for everyone to visit and eat delicious refreshments provided by the perfect Mormon hostess/choir director, Nancy. After a perfect hour of music, Nancy asked me to say the closing prayer and to bless the refreshments. I gladly obliged.

During the middle of the prayer, I realized that the typical Mormon phrase of "bless this food to nourish and strengthen our bodies" wasn't going to work...they were desserts for heaven sakes! So, I improvised with, "please bless the refreshments, that they".....um...think fast, Alice!....no, you can't say not make us fat!...that may really offend that fellow Weight Watcher friend....um....think...think...fast. "Please bless the refreshments, that they won't make us .... sick!"

That's the best I could come up with. Needless to say, after the Amens, and everyone lifted their chins and opened their eyes, all eyes were on me and all jaws were dropped. Nancy (being the perfect Mormon that she was) showed great restrain and didn't kick me out of her house. She was perfectly composed and ignored me all together. I hadn't even thought about offending her by alluding to the fact that I thought her food would make us sick.

I quickly tried to make it right, "Nancy, I am so sorry, you know I love your food...it's some of the best ever....I just couldn't think that fast...they're refreshments, they aren't going to nourish us and I thought sick was a better choice than fat."

Nancy didn't react at all. I don't thinks she ever cared for me much after that. My Weight Watcher friend, on the other hand, said, "You should have said fat!"

And who knew that I had a comic routine on my hands. Here's a clip to prove the point.

86 wives...

...and he's not even a Mormon.

My only question is this: how do you get to be one of the top 4? I would hate to be one of the 82 he divorces, or on second thought, I may be a little relieved.

Did I mention that Mormons outlawed the practice of polygamy in 1890. Have I ever told you that I am elated that I am a Mormon woman of the 21st century.

Oh, and the Mormons that you hear about who are polygamists, they aren't mainstream Mormons, they are groups that have broken away from the church so they can continue to practice polygamy.

But, I tell you what, 82 other woman to do my laundry sounds good right about now.

Gender Roles

And, these pictures are here for one purpose.

I want to prove that I am teaching my girls the fine art of being a girl.

Here are all of my girls picking out their desired hair do for the school year.

And, Bella demonstrates how a girl just loves getting her hair shampooed.

While in college, LG and I took a class together called Sociology for the Family. We learned that we shouldn't gender role our kids. For instance, give your daughters toy cars and your sons a baby doll.

I agree to a certain extent, but have been a little relieved that my girls have femininity as well as an ability to hang with the boys. I mean, for example, Abigail can tell you any character in Star Wars, and you know that's not a normal girl thing. Sophia can kill any of your boys at Mario Kart and Bella...well, I can't think of anything for her except for the fact that like her mother, she just doesn't have the energy to deal with the girl drama.

Do you know what my secret wish is? I know it sounds weird, but I would love to have a daughter grow up to be a darling and cute football quarterback. About ten years ago there was one of these girls at a high school in Utah. She was the star quarterback and the Homecoming queen....I just think that is the coolest thing ever. I mean I don't want a daughter to be a quarterback because she wants to look or act like a guy. I want her to be ALL girl and play ball with the best of the boys. And, if you think that is so crazy, please make your comment really really mean. The mean ones seem to rally even more comments.

Well, the purpose of this post. It's my first mom's advice post. And the advice is: don't gender role your kids. But, please remember that you also have to teach them proper femininity/masculinity. And, if you don't believe me, go over and read the latest post by my sister Renee.

This oldie but goodie from The Muppet Show supports my point masterfully.

Oh, and just for a bit of fun.

Here are the lyrics so you can teach your girls

(or boys - I guess)

I enjoy being a girl.

I'm a girl, and by me that's only great!

I am proud that my silhouette is curvy,

That I walk with a sweet and girlish gait

With my hips kind of swivelly and swervy.

I adore being dressed in something frilly

When my date comes to get me at my place.

Out I go with my Joe or John or Billy,

Like a filly who is ready for the race!

When I have a brand new hairdo

With my eyelashes all in curl,

I float as the clouds on air do,

I enjoy being a girl!

When men say I'm cute and funny

And my teeth aren't teeth, but pearl,

I just lap it up like honey

I enjoy being a girl!

I flip when a fellow sends me flowers,

I drool over dresses made of lace,

I talk on the telephone for hours

With a pound and a half of cream upon my face!

I'm strictly a female female

And my future I hope will be

In the home of a brave and free male

Who'll enjoy being a guy having a girl... like... me.

When men say I'm sweet as candy

As around in a dance we whirl,

It goes to my head like brandy,

I enjoy being a girl!

When someone with eyes that smoulder

Says he loves ev'ry silken curl

That falls on my iv'ry shoulder,

I enjoy being a girl!

When I hear the compliment'ry whistle

That greets my bikini by the sea,

I turn and I glower and I bristle,

But I happy to know the whistle's meant for me!

I'm strictly a female female

And my future I hope will be

In the home of a brave and free male

Who'll enjoy being a guy having a girl... like... me.

How to be a modernized boy band

LG recently expressed his utter amazement at seeing that The New Kids On The Block are making a comeback with saying, "Alice they are a bunch of 40 year old guys dancing around. It was a little weird seeing them on every TV at Wal-Mart at the same time."

I am not sure which is more eerie: the thought of LG watching a bunch of guys dancing at Wal-Mart or the fact that the 60 year old Wal-Mart greeter could point out and name every member of the band, even in their "twenty years later" disguise?

Either way, I am going to try and refrain from purchasing the CD...and that is said in all facetiousness.

Recently, another boy band was in town. They are a very updated version. (In fact, they are so modernized that I thought they were all dressed like they were "gay" just to find out that they were really wearing the clothes of cool skater type kids....go figure... I am old!) I had never heard of this band before; their name is Varsity Fan Club. And they are living proof that the boy band is back in all its glory. We got to watch them in person. The girls were mesmerized. Really, I was mesmerized too...in between all the photos that is. They were cute and sounded good and boy they could dance....and those are the precise reason that I know they are a boy band.

Here are some photos of them with my version of how to be a modernized boy band:

You have to have a Napoleon Dynamite look a like.

And one boy who dresses normal.

(You know the mom's in the audience have got to have

something to remember the good old boys by.)

Wear some rad UT orange shades.

And don't forget your hat or your friendship bracelet.

Have some pit hair.

Do the running man in sloooowww motion.

Flash some peace along while simultaneously sticking out your tongue.

Get an old school Thompson Twins T-shirt.

Kink your neck.

Wear your coolest Michael Jackson gloves of all time.

Sing into your shades instead of your mike.

Hydrate to make up for all that sweating.

Play hide and seek with your younger audience.

They love Danny The Dinosaur.

And, if nothing else works to woo the audience, bow your heads in prayer.

But, remember the cute boy doesn't have to because he wears the stripes.

Show your audience that it is indeed possible

to dance and stretch in skinny jeans.

If your prayers didn't work the first time, reach heavenward.

And, don't forget your scarf.

No matter how winded you are at the end,

please don't throw up on the audience.