The Brides and Brothers...

finally came from Cally. They are to DIE FOR!!! How awesome is it that little old me has a one of a kind Calico creation? Bella quickly adopted the wood dolls and the cute little purse. Go here to check it out.

After she dies.

The girls and I have a little game that we always play. The girls grab silk flowers from the flower tower and pretend they have picked them for me. I always act surprised and say a huge thank you, and from my prior instructions, they always go and put them right back. They don't know it, but I always think about how gracious my mom was whenever I did the same thing with her real geraniums. I often will also think of the little church song that I sang to my mom:

"I often go walking in meadows of clover, And I gather armfuls of blossoms of blue. I gather the blossoms the whole meadow over; Dear mother, all flowers remind me of you. "

So, on with the funny story. We were at Wal-Mart yesterday. As I approached the craft section, I was trying to herd the girls in and said to Bella and Sophia that they needed to help me find a Mother's Day gift for Grammy. (I already got something for my mom.)

Bella and Sophia are very obedient children and they love their Grammy and so they immediately began to look around for something to give her. Right as I said this we just happened to pass by the flower arrangements for Memorial Day. In answer to my plea for help with Grammy's mother's day gift. Sophia grabbed the one below and said: "Here mom, Grammy will love this."

You should have seen the innocent bystanders face when she heard me reply, "Oh wow, Sophia, Grammy would love that, let's wait and give it to her after she dies."

Sophia got shy when I pulled the camera out. Here is Bella showing the flowers to me.

Spring into Step

Words are powerful

I also got this one word tag idea from roses are red. I love a one word challenge. It is so stimulating. Feel free to play along.

Just one word

1. Where is your cell phone?

charging

2. Your significant other?

amazing

3. Your hair?

sad

4. Your mother?

loving

5. Your father?

superman

6. Your favorite thing?

undefinable

7. Your dream last night?

nonexistent
8. Your favorite drink?

Dr.

9. Your dream/goal?

approaching
10. The room you’re in?

playroom

11. Your hobby?

blogging

12. Your fear?

abandonment

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years?

embraces

14. Where were you last night?

here

15. What you’re not?

skinny

16. Muffins?

occasionally

17. The last thing you did?

typed

18. What are you wearing?

pajamas

19. Something you’re not wearing?

shoes

20. Your mood?

happy

21. Your summer?

coveted

"God is in the wind"

I loved this faith promoting post about roses are red's visit to the Columbine High School memorial.

I found this scripture to add to the post: Mark 4: 39 & 41

And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And
the wind ceased, and there was a great calm .... And they feared exceedingly,
and said one to another, "What manner of man is this,

that even the wind and the sea obey him?"

I tried to capture the wind in photograph. Here is the best I could do for now.

Love Thy Cell Phone

Like me, do you hate it when a cell phone rings during church?

Do you love my church sign posts?

If you answered "yes" to the above questions, then go here. And, um, thank Sheila for the link.

Just Freeze

Mindi at wordtoyourmother turned me on to a website called improve everywhere. (um, yeah, I just came back because I didn't spell check and noticed my mistake of calling this improve everywhere instead of IMPROV everywhere, but I like, and so I am going to keep it this way.) Their whole purpose is to showcase "staged" scene making....it's all the rave. Go figure. The food court musical was the first I heard of this modern form of entertainment.

Mindi recently posted about the best game ever.

Here is a video from their webpage that I really liked, it helped me think about how we move way too fast in this world.






Now, if I stepped into this staged "freeze" it may freak me out a little, like I stepped into a Twilight Zone version of elementary school freeze tag. But because I realized what was going on while watching the video , I liked it. I liked it a lot. I wonder what would happen if we staged a "freeze" on an American interstate? Yeah, no brainer.....don't want to do that, unless you really have a desire to kill your already dead car!!

Busy Bees

I have so many things to post about, but I have been a busy bee.

This morning I read 20 pages of my Book of Mormon and I caught up in my journal. (I use my blog for most of my record keeping. I just keep a separate small journal for spiritual matters)

I am now 5 loads into my 12 loads of clothes to fold.

And, if you can find the bees in these pictures, I am sure you will be a better photographer than me. I'm such an amateur.

Watch out though, the next time you are in the shower, you may find yourself peeking out the window and you may be so excited by what you see that you'll be calling to your husband to bring you the camera. There's nothing like interrupting a great warm shower to capture nature in movement.

Spring Fever

Here are some signs of Spring that I've seen around town lately.

I will be sad to see this beautiful season go, even if I'm not single and don't have Spring Fever.

Here are the promised dogwoods.

And, look at the tones of the jay and sky, they are almost the same exact blue.

Happy Kids

We went to a birthday party on Saturday night.
It was so much fun.

Here is one of my favorite snapshots of the night.

Look at the happiness of all of these children.
I LOVE happy children.

Here is a quote that Shannon shared on her blog today. I love it.

Jill

My future sister in law, Jill just started a blog too...I told you I was influentual! Jill and Logan have been dating for a whole looooooooong 4 months now.

I wonder if Jill will change her mind about him when she sees this picture. She will probably just love Logan more, since she loves to laugh. I think her and I are going to get along just fine, don't you? Her blog name is livingonlaughter. I sure hope my imsofunny will give her a reason to live on laughter and not on boredom. I have been boring myself lately.

Really, her and Logan are just "dating", but you know where that leads when you are young and Mormon....you can only hold out so long!

We all just found out that Jill's real name is Jillian, and we LOVE that name.

So, go over and warn Jillian about the crazy sister in law she is about to get herself hitched to.

And, don't forget to only call her Jillian. Hey, if I can become Ali to avoid confucsion with all the other 10 Alice's in the fam, she can certainly stay Jillian. Right? Don't you think that is reasonable?

Amy

My sister in law, Amy, decided to join the blogging world. Wow, can you believe that I am so influential!!! If you would like something more to read, and want to get to know my hubby's family better, here is Amy's link.

Go say Hi and help her to get the "comment" addiction like the rest of us!

We are all addicted.

Thanks to Sheila for another fun quiz.

82%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

LG just requested that I use my 18% and come and give him some attention...have we finally found that two minutes at 8:00 on a Friday morning? (o.k. honey, just a sec...I AT LEAST have to finish this post.)

Thank you to Natalie.

Thanks to Sheila because today with her linking she gave me a reason to love my family longer, stronger, fuller, and forever.

The reason: a mother named Natalie. I would love to post a photo of her, but you will have to go over to her blog to see her.

I'm a brunette, she's a brunette, why not?

Thanks to Andrea, a new blogging friend (love those) for this fun quiz. I have to say that I am quite proud of my result. Now, if I can just make LG come up as Brad Pitt, life will be perfect....especially if we could adopt about 4 more international children. (seriously)

I was so worried my result would be Rosie O'Donnell or Roseanne Barr or some other chubby actress.(both would be complimentary because they are FUNNY and that is way more important to me than looking all glam) I guess I should have known that they weren't skinny enough to be included in the database. Our entertainment industry is all about the skinny minnies. I guess it is so fun to actually believe that I could be one of them for a minute. Now,I am going to go and eat a healthy breakfast.


Take the Quiz

Who are you? Go here.

Free Hugs

I found a new blogging friend....Mindi at wordtoyourmother. (And those of you who are prudish - you know who you are - consider yourself warned - she is more liberal than you)

Here is the youtube video of the year that she just posted. I love it...it touched my heart. I am normally not a huggy person, but I may have been converted. Powerful stuff here.



P.S. Mindi, I didn't just give you this shout out because of your Omgirl post. Believe it or not, I read hers after I posted this one. It's a weird weird blogging world...we are all a bunch of sheep!

Flavor

Thanks to Lindsey for a fun quiz.

You embody the perfect blend of sweetness and seduction. You personality is just as luscious and irresistible as chocolate ice cream. You have a flirty, melty attitude that's easygoing and delicious. You appreciate luxurious, extravagant things, like the way ultra-soft fabrics feel against your skin.(this is pretty much the only part I agree with) Some people want to hog you all to themselves, but you find ways to make everyone feel special.

Around town

What exactly does "We have the keys" mean?

Maybe the keeper of the keys should find the keys to this school bus and beautify Knoxville by exposing it to a little soap and water? What do you think? I have never seen a black school bus before.

Prom Night

Look at what I spotted downtown on Saturday night.

A baseball playing kid who thinks he belonged at prom back in 1979.

Wow! I wonder if his date approved of his "statement".

Maybe she should have called in Taylor Swift to pick her boyfriend as her publicity stunt.

It is so nice to be 32 and comfortable in plain old clothes that are comfortable. (oh and I just re-read this and I am 34, not 32 - wishful thinking, I guess)

The more you *art

As I have told you before, we weren't allowed to say the far* word while growing up. That is why I called my writing contest a stinkin' contest, and not a *art contest. (That is just for you mom, now don't read ahead because I am about to offend you)

I have managed to get out from under the control (and manners) of my parents, so I can now say fart. And, I can say that I was so happy to read all of your fart stories. Passing gas is indeed a funny thing, even if only a few of you entered my contest.

Many of you, misunderstood the contest rules (I will forgive you this first time, since a lot of you are new bloggers, but next time I will only consider those who actually post the story on their own blog AND leave me a comment with the link) I feel like I am forgetting an entry, but because everyone didn't leave me a comment on my post, I may have inadvertently missed your link here. - Sorry, if that is you - please let me know and I will update)

A HUGE THANKS to all of you participants: (I so enjoyed reading your funny stories)

Missy and Erika with the Scooby Doo fart-off.

Sheila with her first blog contest.

Loralee with Boundaries

Renee with her Oliver/Nanny story. (just in a comment)

Chrys with her first fart while dating story. (also in a comment)

Jarrett with his lethal cafeteria pizza.

I really enjoyed everyone's stories, but I chose the winner by who made me laugh out loud the hardest and longest.

And the winner is SHEILA.

Why? Because her story so could be something that would happen to me. If you wonder what I am talking about, you will have to read her story. (And, not to discourage future participants, but I have to admit that I can be biased towards the blogger who is the most faithful commenter)

The runner up is Jarrett. His story made me laugh the 2nd hardest. But, even if I did laugh the hardest on his story, I must admit I just can't pick Jarrett the winner. I have a HUGE conscience that makes me feel really bad for that poor kid on the bus that he let take the wrath for his own flatulent fuel...poor guy, he is probably still in therapy to this day! Nonetheless, it's a funny story.

So, congratulations Sheila. I guess I will be mailing a whoopy cushion to your friend who inspired your story. And, I am sure it will be one of the most proud moments of her life! You know, besides the time that she pooped her pants at the store while trying to out fart her hubby.

Sheila - e-mail me at alice.w.gold@gmail.com with her name and address and I promise to get her prize out within the next week.

Little People

And look and what I won from the greatest crafty blog out there!

Cally is a mad woman. She made this one REALLY hard.

I am proud to announce that I guessed her 7 Brides for 7 Brothers correctly.

And, even though, my stinkin contest prize is so, well, stinky

compared to Cally's handcrafted little people,

I will shortly declare one of you the winner....stay tuned...I am still working on the post.

Thou Shalt Not Murmur

When no matter what, I can't force myself to write, I shall post church signs.
(And when you people out West have bad blogging days,

I would really like to see what you come up with for interesting church signs)

So, my life is out of control.
Living the gospel consumed every waking moment and

even many of the sleeping ones last week.
After the weekend, I thought I would be rested....

And, I admit that I was mad that my husband and I didn't get (nor still haven't gotten) 2 minutes to ourselves to celebrate the good bar news.
(I mean you think after 10 years of married college life and still succeeding at having three children , we would have figured out how to steal away 2 darn minutes?)

So, what did I do in response to our craziness?

I had a weak moment and murmured to a friend this morning.

So, what did God do in response to my murmuring?

He took away those protective "your car is 10 years old angels" and he let my minivan die!

Man, I should have read these church signs more carefully last week

and been happy with our lives of service and not angry and resentful.

So, yes, I am going to learn from my mistake.

Instead of saying, "Holy CRAP what am I going to do this week without my car?"

I am going to choose to say, "Wow, God is so good to me. I am so grateful to have one car that both my husband and I can share this week. What would I do without that one car to carpool my kiddies, my hubby, and myself to ALL the places I need to go in preparation for the Ward Picnic I am in charge of on Friday?...Oh, I am so blessed to have that one little car."

Walk and Walk and Walk

What do you need to feed your pets (or your kids for that matter) to ensure that they will always come home?

When I was in Kindergarten I walked home the 2 miles from school. I thought I could go and see my friend's house and be back to catch the bus in time. So, when I got back to the school and discovered EVERYONE to be gone, I did what any reasonable 5 year old would do....I walked home. (I may have even been 4 at the time)

And there are advanatages to being part of a large family...it seemed that even though I arrived 3 hours late, no one even noticed. Talk about empowering...I learned at an early age that I could arrive wherever my feet would take me.

Gas prices! AH!

Go and tell Shelia how much you are paying for gas. And feel free to vent about it as well. Sheila is a great listener and her hubby doesn't mind if she stays up all night to blog. :)

A post about Mormons and Polygamy

It is so worth reading...you all need to do it. Read it for me, PLEASE! Oh and thanks to pedaling fast for the heads up.

Tears of Joy

I now have a very intimate connection to this scripture:

John 16:20

Verily, verily, I say unto you, That ye shall weep and lament, but the world shall rejoice: and ye shall be sorrowful, but your sorrow shall be turned into joy.

Here is the name of my husband on the list of those who passed the TN Bar.

G
SHAHERYAR SHER GILL

JENNIFER LAUREN GILLIS

AUTUMN LYNNE GILLMORE

REBECCA BISSON GOBER

LEGRAND GOLD

ANTHONY BRADLEY GRAY

ANTHONY NICHOLAS GRECO

DOUGLAS SCOTT GRISWOLD

SAMANTHA KAY GROSLAND

JORDAN MITCHELL GWIAZDON

Here is the picture of me in the car, driving with my knee, talking on my cell phone, crying tears of relief and joy, while simulatenously capturing the moment for my blog.

P.S. I am seriously considering re-naming my blog to "My Life in My Minivan"

Only six words

If you only had six words to describe your life what would they be? I loved Yvonne's memoir post. I had to play along even though I wasn't tagged. (You see everyone, this is how tags really should be..no pressure)

A life of laughter and repentance.

Yeah, that is the best I could come up with. I guess I really am not funny and my blog will never be famous...oh well. But seriously, I do repent all of the time, and I laugh all of the time. Do you think that those have some correlation?

A Southern Sky

Here was my view on the way home last Saturday evening.

This pic was taken through my windshield, so sorry for the quality.

I tried to stick my head out the window, but because we were going down the

interstate it didn't quite work. (Don't worry Faye, for once, I wasn't driving.)

When I see the sun descending through the clouds like this,
I can't help but feel the love of my Father in Heaven.
It is as if the clouds parted just so that I would take notice.

I love the lyrics from the song "Anyone Up There Who Love Me?" by an LDS artist named Michael McClean. Listen if you must.

A mother declares, while climbing the stairs, "Anyone up there who loves me?"
Her kids are outside, so no one replies, unexpectedly tears well up inside.

The last time he called, he said to them all, "Anyone up there who loves me?"
"I hate it down here, this time of the year, but I promise I'll be home soon."

That was a lovers promise, Heaven could not allow,
but he's found a way to be with her somehow.

She sits on the stair, and whispers a prayer, "Anyone up there who loves me?"

Then soft like the wind, His love rushes in, gently answering I love you.

A Korean Kid

No one but me was that entertained with LG's version of Hey Jude, but everybody has got to love a Korean kid who can't sing his l's. Cute!



This video is in honor of meeting my new niece, Lily (or Riry, as they say it in Korea) for the first time. My sister in law Amy and her husband welcomed sweet Lily into all of our lives almost exactly a year ago. And, she is a fireball. It has been so fun to spend time with her in the past few days as her and Amy just arrived into the States.

Right of Way

Oh yes, it's spring in Tennessee!

But, wait, is this even blog worthy, when it's not a John Deere?

Do I have to stop blogging and thinking?

I am sorry to Sheila. (who is my only reader who missed my post this morning) I am sorry to any of the rest of you who really did miss me but just didn't mention it...yeah right.

Two things at our house.

First, LG had his monthly interviews with the kids last night. As we were going to bed, he told me that separately each of the girls complained of my blogging. (It is so the life of a mother to find something that you really enjoy to have it ripped from your fingers...why is it that a man can go to work all day and not be forced to feel guilty, but if I blog for 2,3, 4 hours a day, I am a horrible mother - that was said sarcastically - I know my blogging has been out of control, but it isn't as if I entirely ignore the kids) I know I need to find a blogging balance in my life. I do not plan to give up completely, I will just try to blog when no one is watching. HA!

Second, we are awaiting the second round of bar results that will be out this Friday. Things are a little hectic at our house at the moment. Even though we try to forget about it, it seems we are counting down every second.

So in honor of hopeful positive bar results, here is a link to a great news story. When and if LG ever gets a job beyond legal clerk, it will be nice to know that he can sue his boss, and not be fired for doing so. HA HA!

A Note from Ms. Nitz

I have blogged before about Sophia trying to outgrow her shyness.

A while back, I sent a note into Sophia's teacher to inquire about any areas we could help Sophia improve upon. We had gotten her report card and it said she could work on something to do with language skills.

Here is the note that Ms. Nitz sent back home.

We have talked with Ms. Nitz before about Sophia fitting in socially and Ms. Nitz always tells us that she trys to pay extra attention to kids like Sophia. Ms. Nitz has said, "When children are so delightful and quiet they can easily be forgotten about."

So, you can imagine my quandry when she sent this note home. Was she serious? Or was she just trying to play with us on Sophia's quiet and less than excited personality?

I have confused some readers here already, so let me write a little more. Ms. Nitz was serious, Sophia needed to learn how to recognize the word shouted in her book and how the exclamation point is used. Ms. Nitz was not in a "round about" way trying to tell us that Sophia needed to learn how to shout or get excited. When I tend to try and find humor in everything I confuse myself a lot of the time. I was confused over this note until my hubby explained it to me, and I am sorry for not being more concise with the original story.

A Stinkin' Contest

O.k. I am not usually in to the tootin humor, but I came up with this idea and I thought that I would see where it will take us.

I want to have my own little contest. (I plan to do this from time to time - with different topics of course, but I had to start with the most popular for humorists: the good old fashioned passing of gas)

The contest: Comment with a link to the funniest true flatulence story that you have written. Whoever I think is the funniest will win.

The deadline: This Friday, April 18th by midnight.

The prize: I will mail this funny whoopie cushion to ANYONE of your choice in the US or Canada as a totally hilarious SURPRISE. Of course it will include this funny joke, a url to your funny blog post, and an explanation of how YOU decided to make someone's day.


O.k. , we are settled, and if this isn't the funniest contest you have ever seen on the internet, I would like to know about the one that is funnier.

Here is a joke for you:


SILENT BUT DEADLY
Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?"

Patient, "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time,"

The Doctor nods, "Hmm."

Patient, "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five times. You didn't hear them and you don't smell them, do you?"

"Hmm," says the Doctor,

He picks up his pad and writes out a prescription.
The patient is thrilled "Great doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?"

"No," sighs the Doctor, "The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test."



And, I can't leave this post without honoring my father in law, Duane.

You will never see the man laugh as hard as when the subject of "tooting" comes up...it literally draws tears from the man.

He laughs so hard when we talk of the subject that my brother-in-law Jordan has promised his dad that when he dies, we will have a fart-off at his funeral, just to see if we can hear his laughter one last time, coming from the other side.

T Benjamin drinks it?

T Benjamin Larsen responded to my cat poo coffee post with a film he created. Just thought that you may like to take a peak....disgusting!

Here is one of my fav's from his blog. I don't have a clue why this isn't showing up any more, but it was a video with the speech given by JFK.

Can he just win already?

I haven't posted about American Idol in a while. I just got sick of saying the same things over and over again.

Yet, I am still a huge fan and totally agree with the results of this poll 100%..you will have to read the link to see who Americans talking to msnbc think will take the show. And, if they are right, I won't be any happier.

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart...

...the more you eat, the more you don't *art??? (My mom reads my blog and she doesn't allow me to use the f word) But, you do lose a bunch of weight.

Cat Poo Coffee?

Here's one reason not to be proud of being an Englishman.
And one reason to be happy that you are a Mormon. "I'm sorry, I don't drink cat poo coffee." What do you think Saxon?
I guess that Rita might want to participate in Lent just a little longer.

Why do you eat?

Obsessive: yes. Perfectionist: can be. Anorexic: Heck no!

What, I'm not a dog?

If the human species could only be so accepting of its own, much less other species.

Read here about the momma dog who introduced an abandoned squirrel into her litter.

Thanks again to Valerie, who is an e-mail forwarding queen, but somehow not a very consistent blogger.

Bras

At dinner tonight, we had THAT conversation. It went something like this.

Me: "Abigail, you know, you guys are all growing so fast, you will need a bra before you know it."
Abigail: "No I won't."

Me: "Yes, you will, probably by about the 5th grade, enjoy your freedom while it lasts, you only have a couple of years left."

Abigail: "Some of my friends already have bras. R*** has one, and so does J***."

Me: "What, J*** has a bra? She doesn't need a bra."

LG: "I need a bra more than J*** needs one." (LG wants me to clarify, just in case any of you would actually worry about, he has no idea what J even looks like, much less her bra size...he just figures that his boobs are bigger than any third graders out there)

And refering to his own breasts may be the only time LeGrand chimes in when the topic of bras comes up. That and when he reminds me that he can still unclasp m....(I better not go there...you remember the rule...the bedroom is off limits.)

What I think

After scribbit.blogspot.com, I have two favorites from New York Times' Top 10 Motherhood Blogs.

fussy.org and notesfromthetrenches.com (My disclaimer here, I don't know if these blogs will stay Conservative friendly - they seemed so today)

My two least fav's:

5minutesformom.com and parenthacks.com (Again, you all know that I hate it when people can ONLY talk about their children and/or parenting products - aren't we all humans before we are parents? - why don't you people write a little about that?)

The two that I won't read again for the same reason I won't read dooce (too foul)

izzymom.com and suburbanbliss.net (I try to be tolerant, but I just can't stand in when people take the Lord's name in vain - I mean if you talk like that, then it is your problem, but it is not mine unless I listen to it)

This is just my preference, you all may feel totally different about it. I know a lof of my blogging friends love designmom.com, but I don't really care for her either...I just can't make myself care about all that worldly stuff. Maybe when I move up a class from low to middle.

Marketing 101 for the Blogging World

Here is LG and I at work on our computers at the same time. This seems to have become our nightly entertainment. We are like an old retired couple. After we get the kids to bed and have a second to relax, I go to my computer to blog, and he goes to his to read my blog! ! (yeah right)

After getting linked on Instapundit a while back, I told LG sarcastically that I had made it in the blogging world. He laughed and said, "Alice the only way you really make it in the blogging world is when all of your friends tell all of their friends to read and the cycle continues for a few years." Who knew?

So my question is this: All of you friends, are you telling all of your friends? (just kidding) As you read from my last post, you know I don't have to MAKE it, I love to blog and just plan to keep on writing, even when my comment count gets low. (which is seems to have done lately - hint hint)

So in honor of making it in the blogging world, here is something funny for you all.

A while ago I read this explanation of Marketing. It was originally written about a woman bragging about her sexy skills. (if you know what I mean) I cleaned it up, and made it apply to those of us with blogging addiction.

Perhaps the following examples will help us all learn something today about Marketing:

You see another blog. You open it and leave a comment, “I’m the best blogger around.” That’s Direct Marketing.

Your blogging friend goes to another blog and says, "Check this out" and links to your blog saying "She's the best blogger around". That’s Advertising.

You go back to the blog after they've left you a comment. You get their e-mail address and send an e-mail to them along with links to all of your best work..."Check out my blog, I'm the best blogger around" That’s Telemarketing.

You write a post that somehow compliments every other blogger that you know. You offer free prizes and excessive linkage to everyone you know with a "P.S. message", "I'm the best blogger in the world." That’s Public Relations.

Somebody just comes to your blog out of the blue and they leave you a comment, “I hear you have the best blog in the world” That’s Brand Recognition.

You have the best blog in the world, and you use your power to convince other people to visit other people and places. Now you are a Sales Rep.

Your mother-in-law starts her own blog, and calls you to help her figure stuff out. She knows that you are the best blogger in the world. That’s Tech Support.

You leave over a thousand comments on blogs that you have never visited or never intend to revisit, you leave the comment “I am the best blogger!” with a link that says, "Come and see for yourself". That’s Spam.

Top Mommy Blogger

Here is my response to The Wall Street Journal Article. I actually used to read her, but I could not stand her foul mouth and her hatred towards Mormons. I quit reading when she started messing with my emotions, not that she noticed me missing. I think I even sent her an e-mail once years ago, not to have it answered. Not that she cared about not responding. Read this article, the woman is making bank!

My only solace comes in knowing that my hubby will soon make plenty of money and so I don't need to make money on my blog. I also have to repeatedly remind myself that my blog is for me...I don't think I would ever sell out to advertisers. (not that I plan on being given that chance) I just would never want advertisers to rule my life. Selling out to advertisers is the blogging equivalent to bad politics. (But, I reserve the right to change my mind about that if I ever make it BIG!)

I do not like Dooce.com.
I hate it when she throws the bomb.

She does not make me feel calm,
more like a bad night at a prom.

I do not like dooce.com.
Even though they says she's worthy of a sitcom.

I wish her blog would die in Guam.
Hanging people out to dry, she has no qualm.

Mormon hater, she writes our psalm.
Yet, she's the most money making blogging mom.

I do not like dooce.com,
But I would like to be like dooce.com.
But, just a blogging version of becalm.

So, now that you know how I feel about Dooce, I will tell you that I only include one of the Top10 blogging parents on my list: Scribbit And, I gladly link her for you, but I refuse to link Dooce.com - Don't worry none of you would like it anyway. I am probably the raciest blogger you read, and trust me when I say that hers is SO much worse. I do plan to check out the rest of the Top 10. I will let you know what I think.

Rear View Mirror

While on the road to pick up Sophia from school today, I noticed that Bella has picked up my love for rock and roll. It is hard to tell from the video, but she is a head boppin' fool. (I have to apologize to my mother in law here who hates it when I drive and operate anything other than the car at the same time) Bella's rock out session was much better before she realized that I was trying to catch her in the act. I resorted to videoing her through the rear view window so she would act naturally. I think that she still kind of knew what I was doing because she isn't half as zealous as before in this video. When I got done and put my camera in my purse Bella said, "Mommy are you going to put me on your blog?" She didn't want me to, but I hope she'll forgive me someday. She is kind of blog shy.

I am always happy when I can catch something entertaining while driving in my car. Have you noticed my new K-town label. K-town is label for the things I see around Knoxville; it's amazing the things you notice from your car when looking for blog photos. (usually while driving in the car - because you all know that I am in my car a good two hours every day) So, I was trying to figure out how I was going to come up with an excuse to post this cute blurb of Bella. I don't want this to my "kid" blog. I don't like reading other people's blog when all they blog about is their children. (I do like to read about their children, just not ALL the time)

Sheila, my new blogging friend, just gave me the best excuse ever, to post my rear view mirror catch. WOW! I only had to wait three hourse to find a good reason to justify posting about my children again. Anyway, read Sheila's post with a rear view mirror analogy. I loved it. It is good advice for all of us who need to learn to let go of our mistakes.

Murphy's Law

A real life friend Karen Wynn just found my blog, but better yet, she has her own blog! YEAH! How is this for a cute blog name: A Wynn Wynn situation.

Read here, if you want to see how the infamous Murphy of Murphy's law has a way with timing.

Free Entertainment

Here is a photo of one source of free entertainment...a tree swing. This one just happens to be in our yard.

Another source of free entertainment is the American mall. The mall, free? What? How is that? Keep reading. I shop at the mall about once a year. I just think everything is so OVERPRICED! I can't even afford the underwear that they sell at the mall. But I've learned to be a smart mother and I now can use every lack of funds moment to my advantage.

A few months ago, we stopped in at the mall just to eat at the food court.) O.k. so I go to the mall more than once a year, but going to the food court doesn't count.) About twice a year, we like to go as a family and let everyone get whatever kind of food they want.

After all 5 of us have ordered food from different establishments we give our kids a lesson in sharing and divide the smor·gas·bord around the table. When we have each eaten every possible food group and we can feel them sloshing around in our digestive systems, we can't help but feel like we've made it in life! The food court is a true symbol of American life. When your whole family can get their favorite mass produced food and enjoy it at the same table, you know you live in America. Or Japan, but we aren't counting the fact that everyone in Japan has rice as their same favorite food.

Well, how do we top a night off when we have all just gorged ourselves on MSG? After forking out $20 for food, we are then ready for some free entertainment. First, we stop at the little kiddie quarter rides. The kids know we won't pay the quarter, but they think it is fun to climb in anyways. It is the same concept for LG. As I watch the kids on the kiddie rides, he goes inside the video game store. LG knows that I won't give him the quarter, but he likes to climb anyway.

And, then, before we leave the mall, I get my entertainment....no, not the IceCream Dots, but watching the family take bottomless rides on the....you've got it.. the escalators. Even though the girls have graduated from calling the escalators "alligators", they still always love to ride. Now, as Mormons, you know we don't believe in excess, (so we try not to go overboard on the riding) but we ride just enough to properly bother every possible mall-goer who believes the escalator was made only for floor transition. My daughters are 8, 6, and 4 and still think it is the escalator is the greatest invention in the whole wide world. LG usually putters out after 2 ups and 2 downs, but I like to keep on riding, so that I can keep getting a good glance at the girls smiling from ear to ear.

So, see, ladies, there are advantages (besides appeasing your budget nazi husbands) to only going to the mall three times a year....all kinds of free entertainment right under your nose.

And the quote of the day:

"I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only
become stairs. There would never be an escalator temporarily out of order sign,
only an escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience." ~ Mitch
Hedberg

If you've parked, watch out for the mosquitos!

Shop Calico

My friend Cally Cruze is seriously the most amazing crafty person that I can call my real life friend.
Her creativity just never ends.
And it is always just perfectly cute and/or classy!

Go to her blog Calico..you will not be disappointed.

Cally has just committed herself to a long life at the sewing machine. (even with 5 kids under 8) I told you she was amazing.

The more you buy from Cally, the more I can laugh at her (while her life gets hectic with sewing in every spare minute), and you all know how I like to laugh.

If you don't want to buy anything, (or plan to start stashing out some of your grocery budget before you splurge a little later) leave her a comment saying that you came over because of me...she will love that...and I am trying to prove that I am still the blogging queen! (I just want to do one thing better than her - just one, is that too much for a girl to ask?)

Karma

My husband, LeGrand, and I recently made a huge change in our control of finances. He took over the bills and the budget. I have done such a fabulous job for the past ten years, that we decided he should take a turn. Or, I needed to reign myself in more efficiently. But, hey, I am proud that he has never tried to control me, it was all my idea!

I really have done a great job giving us a fairly normal life for the past four years of grad school. Being a stay home mom with three kids and a partially working husband has not been easy, to say the least. But, having LG take over has been an even more exciting challenge. Let's just say that my eyes have been opened to a whole new penny pinching world. And, so have his. It's supposed to get better after school, not worse.



These are just a few of the law books

that the money from our budget

paid for in the past four years.

The total amount paid for law school:

trust me, when I say,

you don't want to know.

(Besides, we really haven't
paid for anything but the books -
we have the next 30 years for that)

This is the milk dripping off the car last Saturday.

We had gone to Sam's Club

and I dropped the milk in route from the cart to the van.

To salvage the rest of the gallon,

I placed the upside down container (hole on top)

inside a shopping bag.

I had LG hold it just at the right angle,

out the window of the car, all the way home.

By the time we got home,

there was only a remaining half gallon

(but hey, in today's world that adds up to $2.25)

Did I mention that it was cold and raining outside?

It took LG's arm a good 1/2 hour to defrost.

And, even though he wouldn't admit it,

he was laughing inside when after he complained

I purposefully ran through that mud puddle .

(The kids and I didn't even try to hide our amusement)

This is the vanilla that I wish I would have known about.

My self proclaimed budget at Sam's was $100, and when I reached my limit, I left the desired vanilla behind.

The next day, when I reached my desired $80 budget at the grocery store, I again left the vanilla on the shelf.



Two hours later, I had to borrow some from the neighbor.

Sixteen hours after I borrowed, I found this little culprit in the back of my shelf, hiding behind all my spices.



This is the brand new bottle of Clorox wipes.

When we got it out of it's package, there were no wipes inside, just suds. The estimated worth of the missing wipes...$3.

I think that Sam's Club is out to get me.

This is me at the bank trying to redeem a twelve dollar service charge.

The bank closed out our overdraft credit card last year without telling us. (Good for us, we never used it)

Now, the bank it trying to penalize us for not having the correct kind of checking. (it needs to be linked to a line of credit)

I have no idea why it took the bank eight months to finally give us a service charge. I think they waited just long enough so that they could make us reapply for the credit. Is there a conspiracy?

LG told me that if I could get the $12 back it was ALL MINE! So, after getting nowhere with customer service on the phone, I carted a couple of kids into the local branch. Sophia took my picture.

So, on to the Karma. Since January when LG took over the finances, he has become notorious for leaving all of our money in savings, except for what we absolutely HAVE to have. Whenever I go to the store, I have discovered that I better call and make sure that we have money in checking. I cannot tell you how many times my card has not gone through. I have gotten onto LG about this several times. It is so embarrassing! And especially frustrating when you have just wrestled your way all the way through the vastness Wal-Mart with three kids in tow.

Friday night we stopped to rent some movies. Food City has a great deal: 5 catalog movies for five nights for $5. LG was standing with the girls as I went to check out. What happened? Do you have to ask? My debit card was declined for the third time of the week. I paid with my credit card, while shooting LG a look and explaining to the clerk that we really do have money. Let's just say LG and I didn't do much talking the rest of the night. He thought that I had spent too much money, and I knew he just didn't transfer enough money. He went to his laptop to crank out the numbers and I came to my refuge that we call the blog. One hour later, he came out and apologized. He said it would never happen again. We made up.


Fast forward. It is Saturday night at 11:30 PM; LG has not arrived home from the church yet. I begin to worry. He comes running in the door, asking me where his Discover Card is. "I don't know, it was laying out on the table last I saw it", I reply. I had washed LG's wallet the week before, when it was "misplaced" for the thousandth time. (Everything is misplaced to LG, not lost, because he always finds it eventually - he is still searching for his first three wedding bands) LG had transferred the contents of his wallet to his new wallet that was gifted to him by Abigail at Christmastime, and he couldn't find his credit card.


I inquired, "What do you need it for?" LG shrugged, "I just went and got gas and my debit card was declined. I couldn't find my credit card either, and the clerk said she was going to call the authorities. I tried to go to the ATM and take it out, but even though I transferred the money last night, it wasn't in there. I tried to take it out of savings, but the bank said that service wasn't provided with our account." I promptly ran to pay for his gas. When I got home we did a thorough search for the missing Discover Card.....it was right in his wallet the whole time.

It's a good thing the man has a sense of humor...because you know I was laughing AT him the whole time. It made me feel better that he was laughing too.


Hey, you're scary.
That's better.
Your eyes are closed.
Thank you.
You're welcome.