tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10829483.post2699289969435521115..comments2023-10-19T13:28:30.837-04:00Comments on I'm So Funny (Sometimes): CodependenceAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11971378715777007757noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10829483.post-27381528879075440972011-01-03T12:06:43.828-05:002011-01-03T12:06:43.828-05:00Alice-
Much of what you wrote here about codepen...Alice-<br /><br /> Much of what you wrote here about codependence I agree with and I suffer with. <br /> The controlling part is me as well , not exactly, but some of the aspects you share I am aware I have a problem with , like the thinking I can tell someone how they should feel or think, very invalidating.<br /> I have recently read an excellent book on validating others without having to control them or thinking you have to control them. The book is , "I don't have to make everything better" .<br /><br />KarenTelioshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08159732103021255271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10829483.post-5780655103108428602010-07-26T14:56:50.719-04:002010-07-26T14:56:50.719-04:00Thanks for posting Alice. I agree that we all have...Thanks for posting Alice. I agree that we all have codependant tendancies. All of us have the need to be loved & accepted. However not all of us allow those feelings to overwhelm our lives. <br />Subjects like this are confusing because our "lables" we use to define us often are incomplete or are tied to other problems. <br />I understand where JoAnne is coming from. It is a very slippery slope for a codependant to then take on the responsiblity for making someone an addict. A person can not make someone an addict. However a codependant can contribute to addiction & also can contribute to the unhealthy behaviours which lead someone into addiction. Case in point..... my mother was a codependant (along with many other things)& what that meant for me growing up was that I could do nothing right. If she didnt feel loved, it was my fault. I wasnt doing enough. After awhile I did start looking for ways to escape those feelings of inadequacies. So where perhaps an adult can not be made an addict by another codependant adult; a child/teen can be negatively influenced by codependant adults and thus form addictive behaviours. Then that goes back to the "What came first?" question. I personally have started looking at it a little differently. I think there is no way to answer that question. Co-dependance, addiction & other disorders are products of sin's affect on us humans. So which came first.... sin did & we have been paying the price for it ever since.Nicolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00327631899513450207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10829483.post-42325546125046517602010-07-23T22:41:48.885-04:002010-07-23T22:41:48.885-04:00JoAnn,
I appreciate your input. It sounds like yo...JoAnn,<br /><br />I appreciate your input. It sounds like you are a lot more versed in this subject than I am. Sometimes I just throw my opinion out there loosely.<br /><br />Maybe I should do more research before I open my big mouth. I guess my philosophy is that a codependent can cause an addict to relapse...would that be fair? Just as an addict can cause a codependent to relapse.<br /><br />I am going to be checking out your blog some more. <br /><br />Thanks for your comment and for the clarification.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11971378715777007757noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10829483.post-76802386617340870232010-07-23T21:44:41.964-04:002010-07-23T21:44:41.964-04:00Interesting thoughts and I agree that it's alw...Interesting thoughts and I agree that it's always good to try to overcome any controlling ways that we have. But, I have to disagree with you on one point:<br /><br /><em>"Sometimes codependents create addicts. People get sick of being controlled and they rebel in form of addictions: alcoholism, abusiveness, sex addiction, gambling...they turn into addictions as a way of escaping the damage that their codependent loved one has etched into their sensitive soul.</em><br /><br />No one can cause someone else to become an addict. Addictions stem from deep seated issues that usually occur in childhood. Casting even a shadow of blame on partners or spouses, who are actually trauma victims in these relationships is unfair, unjustified and harmful. <br /><br />The COSA co-dependent myth is as outdated as Freud's penis envy. I have many articles posted on these subjects on my blog:<br /><br />www.marriedtoasexaddict.com <br /><br />and I would love to hear any thoughts or input.<br /><br />Thanks. JoAnnJoAnnhttp://www.marriedtoasexaddict.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10829483.post-80532708075972363222010-07-23T19:59:58.073-04:002010-07-23T19:59:58.073-04:00Everytime you write on this subject I can't he...Everytime you write on this subject I can't help but think I am codependent.<br /><br />I love your blossom analogy. I think your family is perfect... and that means not picture perfect all the time (mine sure isn't) but perfect in your love for each other.<br /><br />ToOdLeS.<br /><br />ps. I gotta give this some thought and research. Hmmmmm. There you go making me think again.ShEiLahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12439819553846591903noreply@blogger.com