My own worst enemy

I've been reading the most excellent book

called

Gaze Into Heaven.

(review coming soon)

It chronicles near-death

experiences of Mormon pioneers

and it has been life altering for me

as I have pondered

the after-life.

What will it be like for

me to meet my maker

and account for mortality?

I really really hope that

the good outweighs the bad.

As I recently talked with a friend

who has anorexia,

we discussed

how we all seem

to just transfer

one bad behavior to the next.

She started struggling with anorexia

when she was overcoming

a spending problem.

I can't seem to be disciplined

enough to stay under budget

while also staying under calorie allotment.

And forget being happy and kind

and under budget and under calorie.

It's going to take me a lifetime

to conquer all of the above

at the same time.

But this morning

while running

I had an epiphany.

It comes from

The Book of Mormon

Mosiah 3:19

19 For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.

Like a ton of bricks

it hit me all at once.

My mortal body

is my own worst enemy.

My whole purpose 

on this earth

is to show that my spirit

can be in charge

of my body.

My body is dead

without my spirit.

My spirit (me) is what makes 

me (my body) do or not do anything.

When I struggle with stuff

it's not my spirit,

it's the flesh.

The flesh is naughty.

The spirit is perfect.

They are always at odds

with one another.

"Hey body Alice

quit eating so much."

"Shut up spirit Alice,

you're so goody-goody.

We're gonna

eat drink and be merry til we die."

"Bad idea body Alice,

your spirit

wants to have its glorified form

and it knows a whole lot

more than you do.

I'm smarter.

I'm better

and my whole goal 

is to make you perfect.

I'm in charge

so put that doughnut down.

NOW."

The flesh is weak,

the spirit is strong.

This may seem so simple

to you all,

but it is an epic

principle

that I aim

to use

from now on

when trying to conquer

my transfer of

bad behaviors.

When my flesh is weak

I plan to tap into

that strong strong strong

spirit

and I plan to utilize

the God of all spirits

to help me 

whip that body into shape

more often.